Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn’t for throwing at people who stress you out?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

They should invent a good thing that happens.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Went for a run this morning. That bee was huge!

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Teens be like, “You know that crumbled up piece of paper that’s been on the table all week? I need it for school.”

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

A good substitute for love and and personal fulfillment is a big bowl of fries.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Alexa, tell Roomba to get the spider.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Golf would be more exciting to watch if they played naked.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

I’m officially at the age where going out on the weekend just means I’m running errands.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

I am absolutely unstoppable, unless it’s a bit rainy.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

Can’t wait for my husband to see what he bought everyone for Christmas.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,466

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

They should combine the running of the bulls with Tour de France next year.

Going bananas on TikTok:

I put my bathroom scale in the corner, and that’s where the little liar will stay until it apologizes.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

It’s hard dating someone who has been single for a long time. Any slight inconvenience, and they’ll crawl back into their peaceful abode. No stress.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Every time I wanna quit, I remember horses don’t stop.

Just shared via Twitch:

Not to brag but this cashier is checking me out.

Spotted on YouTube:

You used to calm me on my cell phone!

Breaking via YouTube:

Homeless man just called me a “loser,” and I showed him my house keys.

Making waves on YouTube:

The only love triangle I’m interested in is between me, my book, and my cozy blanket.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

My boyfriend moved in with me straight from Hotel Mama. In a way, I’m now a single parent.

Just shared via Instagram:

I love cute tiny purses, but I’m sad to say I can never be a cute tiny purse girl. I need to haul my hoard of objects everywhere I go, because what if….

Guys have good pics on their dating profiles because their ex took them.

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, so that's the secret! Every 'nice pic 💁‍♂️' comes with a hidden 'thanks, ex!' 📸 #TeamEffort 😆❤️"

dating, dating profile, ex, good, guys, humor, photo, pics, picture, profile, profile picture, profiles, relationship

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on Slack this month:

Apparently it’s inappropriate to yell out “Shots, shots, shots, shots” while your child’s getting immunizations at the pediatrician’s office.

83 shares on Threads this month:

Trying to eat with my left hand because I need a little excitement in my life.

54 shares on WhatsApp this month:

No one has ever believed in me more than this waitress, who brought me buffalo wings and a single wet nap.

28 shares on TikTok this month:

Everything is 10 times funnier when you are supposed to be quiet.

36 shares on Twitch this month:

Asked a German woman why Germany produced so many legendary physicists / mathematicians, and her response was basically, “Have you considered educating people who aren’t rich?”

21 shares on Pinterest this month:

Resting bitch face saves me from so many conversations I don’t want to be part of.

45 shares on Telegram this month:

My last husband’s name is Don. I just added an E to it and walked away.

97 shares on YouTube this month:

“You let your cat on the bed?” I would put her on my life insurance.

28 shares on Telegram this month:

There is no physiological reason to yell when you sneeze. People who do that are simply weak and rude.

10 shares on Reddit this month:

Getting excited to go to bed is a different level of adulting.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

It’s hard to sleep knowing that Coke is in the fridge.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Cheating on a partner should affect your credit score.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

You can never really “own” earbuds. You just have to appreciate the time you had together.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Every single morning, I have to get out of bed and do things, and it’s bullshit.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Every day, I’m gaslit into oblivion by beautiful women, and then I go to sleep.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

There should be a tented fingers emoji. For when you’re feeling ruminative.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

If you watch soccer backwards, it’s about 11 sad and 11 happy men who nag each other until they get along eventually.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Millennials are so young because we were never allowed to grow up. Still living like broke college kids in our 40s.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

A lot of y’all don’t understand politics because your history teacher was the football coach.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

My phone just filmed a 2 hour documentary about life inside my purse.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

My couch better stop looking at me like that, it knows exactly what it’s doing.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

The second half of your life begins when you stop wanting to get even and start wanting to get odd.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

It’s really sad that April Fools is the only day people are appropriately skeptical of stuff they read on the internet.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Love when a doctor emails me about my “outstanding bill”. If it’s so good, why don’t you pay it?

Trending via Messenger:

Thank you, God, for another day. Let’s get this 12-hour screen time.

Spotted on Facebook:

Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Politics top tip: Gain people’s trust by telling them that everyone is lying to them.

Seen just now on Threads:

Think about how many more lovers you’d have if a cross country high-speed rail existed. That’s what they are taking away from you.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Stop telling people to grow up. Have you seen adults?

Trending via Slack:

Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Guys have good pics on their dating profiles because their ex took them.

I’m a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

My favorite thing to do is nothing, with no one.

Attention: will the owner of a small blue planet with tectonic plates please attend to your vehicle. It is overheating.

Women love it when you approach them on the street and say “whoa, is there a hot babe convention in town?”

1994: I can’t wait to see what the world is like in 30 years. 2024: God no.

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked, I’m 4 people.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Guys have good pics on their dating profiles because their ex took them.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I’m a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

My favorite thing to do is nothing, with no one.

Attention: will the owner of a small blue planet with tectonic plates please attend to your vehicle. It is overheating.

Women love it when you approach them on the street and say “whoa, is there a hot babe convention in town?”

1994: I can’t wait to see what the world is like in 30 years. 2024: God no.

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked, I’m 4 people.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨