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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

I only use ‘sir’ disrespectfully.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

When I was a kid, we weren’t allowed to use our phones in school. Mainly because the cords wouldn’t reach.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Me summer vacation planning: I’m going to Europe. Bank account: You’re going camping.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Dinosaurs are always described as “roaming” the earth, which is patronizing as hell, I bet they had places to go and important shit to do.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

He took my last fry, your honor.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

My boss wants me to train some other employees so it’s pretty obvious he has no idea I am completely incompetent.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

We’ve got a shituation here.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

At the Pride and Prejudice showing booing whenever Prejudice comes on screen.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Cafeteria is a beautiful name for a baby girl.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

The closest I’ve come to mastering a martial art is figuring out how to wash my feet in the shower.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,427

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

My favorite thing to do when I see people I know in public is to pretend I didn’t.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Me, unwrapping a gift: Oh wow, an item. I love these!

Spotted on Telegram:

Being excited to get in bed really is a different level of adulting.

Spotted on Messenger:

Death cannot harm me more than you have harmed me, my beloved life.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Drugs don’t ruin lives. Drug tests do.

Making waves on Reddit:

Have y’all tried calories? They’re so good.

Going bananas on Threads:

They say sugar can’t fix your problems. Yeah, well, neither can broccoli. At least cake puts in the effort.

Going viral on Facebook:

That awkward moment when someone is doing the dishes, and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I should’ve been an air conditioner because all I do is vent.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Every frozen pizza is a canvas that needs an artist’s touch.

Guys have good pics on their dating profiles because their ex took them.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, so that's the secret! Every 'nice pic 💁‍♂️' comes with a hidden 'thanks, ex!' 📸 #TeamEffort 😆❤️"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

21 shares on WeChat this month:

Not leaving the house and not having contact with other people. The punishments of my childhood are now my hobbies.

99 shares on Facebook this month:

Sorry for the things I said when the internet was down for 10 minutes.

41 shares on Instagram this month:

If the interviewer doesn’t think it’s cool when you pull a quarter out of his ear, the job wasn’t good enough for you anyways.

70 shares on Snapchat this month:

I am in favor of equal pay for men on OnlyFans.

51 shares on Reddit this month:

Bands are always like “here’s another song”. Yeah, no shit, that’s pretty much all you do.

24 shares on Twitch this month:

12 people have been to the moon and only 8 people have won Takeshi’s Castle. Really makes you think.

69 shares on Pinterest this month:

In my opinion, those who go jogging on a Sunday morning certainly don’t have a comfortable sofa.

62 shares on Discord this month:

I’m only an introvert until I meet people worth extroverting with.

88 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Gang initiations from the Midwest be like “you have to eat the entire potato salad.”

90 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m at an age where I don’t have to go anywhere and I still have jet lag.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Your in his DMs, I’m on Etsy paying a witch to put a spell on him.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The devil couldn’t reach me, so he made sure that the love I give is never reciprocated.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Forget mini pizzas. I want one so big it needs a forklift to rotate it.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!” Oh, it’s ok, you can just kill me next time.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Worst feeling is playing a game and having nobody to talk to about it.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The biggest difference between my toddler and me is that if I had poop on my butt, that’d be priority #1.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

One sec, lemme just find the off switch for my brain.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Never say never. Unless someone asks you when you want to go camping. Then the right answer is always “Never.”

14 folks are currently checking 👀

My husband said it would be easier if we had a Christmas house that we moved into in December, instead of taking all these decorations out.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Taylor Swift should write a song about people who don’t return their shopping carts to the corrals.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,292

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

The real morning people are the ones that wake up to call radio stations.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

A really good magician could be living in your house and you would never know.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Last time I laid on his chest, I heard girls in there laughing at me.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

I put the “sexy” in “dyslexic.”

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

They say money doesn’t solve all problems, but it will surely solve all of mine.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

I lost my job at NASA Mission Control today. I misheard when they said, “It’s lunch time.”

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

They should invent health insurance that insures your health.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Since the beginning of time itself, people have been wondering, what the hell is going on?

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

There’s no filter on my pics or my thoughts. I’m just out here raw-dogging it.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

My budget for this month is a smile, and I don’t know how long that will last.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Don’t buy me flowers. A bouquet of KitKats will suffice.

Going viral on Discord:

America is like that TV show that’s been on for too long, and the writers don’t know what to do, so they just make anything happen.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Looking for someone whose favorite thing to do is nothing. No hiking. No adventure. Just bed rot.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Fun fact: sexual tension is more fun than the sex itself.

Just shared via Slack:

Every group chat has that one person who never replies, and it’s me.

Making waves on WeChat:

I love Queen and David Bowie, but why did they steal that riff from Vanilla Ice?

Live now on TikTok:

Why talk to bots when my plants listen just fine?

Just landed via X:

I’m blunt because the universe rolled me that way.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Sometimes I miss the time when there was only one idiot per village.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Gender is a just a scam made by big bathroom companies to sell more bathrooms.

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