Someone from has bookmarked:

I was actually a little too thankful yesterday so today I’m going to even it out with some ungratefulness and entitlement.

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Does your blood pump that way just for me?

Someone from has viewed:

Having children is a pyramid scheme.

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Should be able to shazam the inner yearnings of my heart.

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I hate when people ask me what I’m doing tomorrow, I don’t even know what I’m doing today.

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If I’m out drinking and “Push It” starts playing, take me home immediately.

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My tattoo means that I can’t be trusted with $200.

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Just drank a big glass of water, and I regret to inform you, they might be right about hydration.

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Out of sheer boredom, I opened the front door and rang the doorbell. I was so happy.

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My favorite sex position is any of them. I’m just glad to be involved.