Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Ground beef implies the existence of sky beef.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

The real miracle is how Jesus managed to book a table for twenty-six people on the night before the Easter holiday, and then only half them showed up.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Having to pee when you’re driving is problematic. Having to sneeze when you’re driving is even more problematic.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

It is a mistake to say that the people who live a hundred years from now will have nothing to laugh at. They can laugh at us.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Stirring up shit at the wedding by going up to random people and saying “I think it’s so brave that you’re here”.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

I need to go back to Friday. I want to do my weekend differently.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

My New Year’s resolution is to be less presumptuous and rude to others. I’ll bet yours is to lose weight, isn’t it?

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

They should go crazier with lab-grown meat. Invent some new animals or something. Mammoth burger.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

The worst person you know is studying psychology.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Every word wishes it could sound as fun as falafel.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,542

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Twitch:

When I die, I hope it’s early in the morning, so I don’t have to go to work that day for no reason.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Genies are a myth perpetuated by creepy lamps who just want to get rubbed more.

Trending via X:

Some people are like ads, just skip.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I love how bananas just take over the whole smoothie. You can never dim her light.

Spotted on X:

I’m no expert, but I don’t think the United Kingdom is very united.

Just shared via WeChat:

If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?

Trending via Telegram:

A hacker called me and said he had all my passwords. I got a pen and paper and said ‘Thank God for that, what are they?’

Trending via WhatsApp:

Probably the most empowered I’ve ever felt was that time I stuck a fork in a socket.

Seen just now on Discord:

Traveling long distance without earphones feels like you’re serving a jail term.

Just landed via YouTube:

When you wish you could tell someone that won’t stop talking “Okay, we’re out of time today”, just like a therapist.

Humans are just chaos wrapped in meat, going bananas on caffeine.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Basically, we're all just jittery meat tornadoes powered by beans! ☕🍌😂"

bananas, caffeine, chaos, energy, going, human, humans, humor, just, meat, stress, wrapped

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The day your kids stop waking up early on the weekend is the same day your body stops letting you sleep in.

0

3 months ago

body, day, early, humor, kid, kids, letting, morning, parent, same, sleep, sleep in, stop, wake, wake up, waking, weekend
Floating on a rock in space, but yeah – 9 to 5 sounds reasonable.

0

2 months ago

5, 9, 9 to 5, cosmic, daily, daily grind, floating, grind, humor, irony, reasonable, rock, sounds, space, work
I don’t like violence, but I don’t mind if I get hit by luck.

0

2 months ago

chance, conflict, humor, irony, luck, mind, violence
Feeling like a bug without his rug.

0

2 months ago

analogy, bug, comfort, expression, feeling, humor, rug
And then the vodka whispered, “Say what you really think.”

0

2 months ago

alcohol, drinking, honesty, humor, say, think, vodka, whisper
Today I bought a doughnut without sprinkles. This diet thing is hard.

0

2 months ago

diet, doughnut, food, hard, humor, i, sprinkles, struggle, temptation, thing, today

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on TikTok this month:

Asking him what his favorite dinosaur is on the first date to determine compatibility.

23 shares on Pinterest this month:

I used to party all night. Now I check the weather forecast for the next day to see if it’s a good laundry day.

98 shares on Pinterest this month:

You can be anything. Be the person who ends meetings early.

54 shares on X this month:

At what point is a salad no longer a salad based on how much bacon I add?

40 shares on Messenger this month:

Your card declining when you know you have money is a very funny experience.

44 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t know if I’m still tired or already tired.

10 shares on Pinterest this month:

Unfortunately, I’m not nonchalant or mysterious. I’m just a naturally awkward person who becomes talkative once I’m comfortable.

50 shares on Instagram this month:

A guy in the parking lot saw me trip over my own feet so I yelled to him “I just quantum leaped into this body!”

55 shares on Messenger this month:

Why can’t my career pursue me instead?

35 shares on WeChat this month:

Naps are like gambling for the tired. You either wake up refreshed or too late to lots of angry texts.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Welcome to your 40’s: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

All of my fitness goals are within reach, but unfortunately, so are the crisps.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

At what point is a salad no longer a salad based on how much bacon I add?

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

If you love someone, let them sleep.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Of course, I also put my mobile down from time to time. For example, when someone tries to call me.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Mission Impossible theme song plays in my head when I’m trying to remember a password.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

God knew I’d be too powerful if He made me not annoying to women.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Is it better to beat someone to the punch or punch someone to the beat?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Catching me in person is rare. I move like a ghost.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

When people say, “Stop living in the past,” my thought in turn is, “But the music was so much better then!”

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Slack:

Life sucks a lot less when your feet are in a creek, and you forgot your phone in the truck.

Seen just now on YouTube:

My life would be pointless without cheese. Or as the famous song goes: “Ain’t no sunshine when cheese gone!”

Spotted on TikTok:

“I’m currently not accepting new items on my to-do list.”

Spotted on Slack:

More often than not, I read applause as applesauce.

Trending via Twitch:

I get it, sauce, I also thicken over time.

Just shared via Instagram:

I need to find hobbies that don’t include my debit card.

Live now on Reddit:

Please, Tinder, add AI to your app. I don’t want to be involved in the modern dating experience. Let a robot do it for me. Let the machines suffer in our place.

Shared recently on Threads:

Your Majesty” would be the best name for a cat.

Spotted on Twitch:

Worst part about not buying snacks so you won’t eat snacks is not having snacks when you need a lil snack.

Going bananas on Messenger:

I thought I wanted a career. Turns out all I wanted is paychecks.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Humans are just chaos wrapped in meat, going bananas on caffeine.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The day your kids stop waking up early on the weekend is the same day your body stops letting you sleep in.

Floating on a rock in space, but yeah – 9 to 5 sounds reasonable.

I don’t like violence, but I don’t mind if I get hit by luck.

Feeling like a bug without his rug.

And then the vodka whispered, “Say what you really think.”

Today I bought a doughnut without sprinkles. This diet thing is hard.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨