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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

I’ve reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Sometimes I wonder if the plot ever gets tired of being twisted.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

I get so embarrassed for no reason after posting on social media, like, why am I showing my life?

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Is it just me or does everything cost like we’re shopping in an airport now?

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

If you compliment me, my glasses fog up.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

But he was so nice on the prison phone calls.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Have an early flight tomorrow, so naturally I’m going to stay up late tonight and be weird in my room.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Always remember you’re someone’s reason to smile. Because you’re a joke.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

The main difference between my dog and my kid is my dog responds to her name being called.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

The three people who like every single one of my posts are going in my will.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,394

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Every app is a dating app if you are creepy enough.

Breaking via X:

Once you love wide-leg pants, there is no going back from that.

Just shared via TikTok:

Due to personal reasons, I won’t be dropping it like it’s hot anymore.

Spreading quickly via X:

Everyone is celebrating my vegan Bolognese sauce. The secret ingredient is minced meat.

Just landed via WeChat:

I have a very active anti-social life.

Spotted on Slack:

Don’t be sad, laundry, nobody’s doing me either.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

If a man says he’ll fix it, he will fix it. There’s no need to remind him every six months.

Spotted on X:

I’m not fat. I just eat in advance.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

You ever notice how when you get home from food shopping, the kids turn into airport security?

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Going to the gym for my health and wellbeing? No, I just wanna look good naked.

I am deeply overwhelmed and yet incredibly bored at the same time.

3 weeks ago

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Commentary:
When life gives you lemons, it also gives you a 3-hour PowerPoint presentation about lemons. 🍋😵‍💫😴

am, bored, boredom, contradiction, emotional, emotional contradiction, feelings, humor, i, irony, mixed, mixed feelings, overwhelmed, same, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Tech bro obsessed with “storytelling,” but hasn’t read a book in the last 5 years.

0

2 weeks ago

5, book, bro, humor, irony, last, obsession, read, reading, storytelling, tech, tech bro
I get it, laundry, no one is doing me either.

0

2 months ago

chores, doing, humor, i, laundry, me, no one, procrastination, relatable
I’m never really sure what to do with my hands when I go jogging, so I don’t go jogging.

0

2 months ago

awkwardness, exercise, fitness, hand, hand awkwardness, hands, humor, i, indecision, jogging, never, running, sure
Welcome to your 40’s: it’s ten years of people saying “wait until you’re 50”.

0

2 months ago

40s, 50, aging, expectation, humor, life, people, saying, ten, wait, welcome, year’s
Explain it to me like I’m 5 drinks in.

0

4 months ago

5, alcohol, drinking, drinks, explain, explanation, humor, intoxication, me
It’s not magic, but I bet you are reading this post with one leg on top of the other.

0

2 months ago

bet, humor, i, leg, magic, post, posture, reading, top

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on TikTok this month:

“I’d love to go to the moon” I said “but on a full moon day of course, no point going all that way when only half of it’s there”

95 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m eating for two; me and the person I strive to be.

92 shares on Snapchat this month:

Doing taxes for an ant who inherited a teaspoon of sugar.

79 shares on X this month:

Whoever named the meatball absolutely nailed it.

72 shares on Twitch this month:

The main function of the little toe on your foot is to make sure that all the objects and furniture in the house are in the correct place.

55 shares on Facebook this month:

Why would anyone ever jump OUT of a cake?

66 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m changing the game. I’m starting to thank people from the top of my heart.

10 shares on Slack this month:

My personal brand is being the guest at a wedding who can’t dance but puts in a noticeable effort.

16 shares on Facebook this month:

“Follow your heart,” as advice, is sort of like “abandon yourself to cognitive bias.”

73 shares on YouTube this month:

Watching someone else control the computer and doing it differently than you would, is one of life’s greatest challenges.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Wake up, the thinking isn’t going to overthink itself.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

The healthy food in my fridge should be grateful really. It survives much longer than everything else.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

The nicest thing I’ve done for a date is turn up.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Having children is a pyramid scheme.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

When I learned the word “literally,” that was the beginning of the end.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Cicadas are all like, “Y’all mind if I scream?”

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

We must all do our part for the planet. The other day I unplugged a row of electric cars nobody was using.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

I need to have a ginger ale about this.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

I want time to sit and read, take a nap and snack. Basically, I want to be in Kindergarten.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

December, give me a sweet ending for this year please.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Nothing hits harder than opening the fridge for the fifth time, hoping new food magically appeared.

Just landed via Telegram:

It’s jarring for me when there are British people in the Midwest. How did you get this far inland?

Making waves on YouTube:

Big accounts just say water is wet and get 1 trillion likes.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I ordered a new umbrella on Amazon and had it delivered straight to the lost and found office to maximize efficiency.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

In the autumn there are two types of creatures who collect acorns: squirrels and toddlers.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

After I get irritated, it takes me about 2 hours to fix my face.

Going bananas on X:

Winter hack: Avoid the cold by never leaving your house.

Making waves on Twitch:

Sometimes I have to turn off the news and put on a true crime documentary, so I can relax.

Just shared via Facebook:

It’s so hot, ice bears are opening lemonade stands.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I don’t need a maid. I just need someone to tell me once a week that they’re coming to visit, and I’ll panic-clean my entire house in less than an hour.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I am deeply overwhelmed and yet incredibly bored at the same time.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Tech bro obsessed with “storytelling,” but hasn’t read a book in the last 5 years.

I get it, laundry, no one is doing me either.

I’m never really sure what to do with my hands when I go jogging, so I don’t go jogging.

Welcome to your 40’s: it’s ten years of people saying “wait until you’re 50”.

Explain it to me like I’m 5 drinks in.

It’s not magic, but I bet you are reading this post with one leg on top of the other.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨