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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

My résumé is really just a list of things I hope I never have to do again.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Fact: Snow in November happens because people decorate for Christmas prematurely. You know who you are. Stop it.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

If she doesn’t post you, take her phone, go live and introduce yourself!

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Sometimes you need to turn the music up louder and sort your shit out.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

I saw a bird get a worm today. It was about 11 am. So, don’t give up on your dreams, buddy!

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Every Stranger Things scene is just a guy in a wig being like, ‘We have to stop them.’

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

“I’m not jealous of nobody but stay-at-home wives who are married to wealthy men.”

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

You don’t scare me, you’re not my kid noticing her sibling got a bigger slice of cake.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

It’s so cold that men who wear shorts outside in the winter are wearing TWO pairs of shorts.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Stick with me and you’ll go places. None of them good, but still.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,292

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

Eating rice with my hands, but not in a political way. In a lazy, fat guy way.

Seen just now on Slack:

Twitter is the only place where well-articulated sentences still get misinterpreted. You can say “I like pancakes,” and somebody will say, “So you hate waffles?”

Spotted on Messenger:

Your coworkers are your friends; stop working and hang out.

Going bananas on Instagram:

The real reason for global warming is that today’s young people are nowhere near as cool as we were back then.

Broadcasted on X:

Don’t underestimate your white tee and denim jeans.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Sleeping in in winter is really great, you still have about an hour of daylight left before it gets dark again.

Shared recently on WeChat:

If Halloween is over, then why am I still scared?

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Is ChatGPT my father-in-law because it keeps making stuff up and passing it off as fact?

Trending via Instagram:

Nobody is doing it like me because this is probably not the right way to do it.

Spotted on Snapchat:

When the executioner asks me what my final words are, I’m just going to start filibustering.

I am deeply overwhelmed and yet incredibly bored at the same time.

3 weeks ago

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Commentary:
When life gives you lemons, it also gives you a 3-hour PowerPoint presentation about lemons. 🍋😵‍💫😴

am, bored, boredom, contradiction, emotional, emotional contradiction, feelings, humor, i, irony, mixed, mixed feelings, overwhelmed, same, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Am I finishing my education or is my education finishing me?

0

2 months ago

am, education, finish, humor, i, irony, learning, life, me, struggle, student
Maybe one day a street will be named after me. Or a school. Or a mental hospital.

0

2 months ago

after, aspiration, day, fame, health, hospital, humor, irony, maybe, me, mental, mental health, recognition, school, self-deprecation, street
The worst thing about being an adult is that you have to be one every single day.

0

3 months ago

adult, adulthood, being, daily, daily life, day, every, humor, life, responsibility, single, struggle, thing, worst
Keep posting, I’m diagnosing you.

0

2 months ago

diagnosing, engagement, humor, keep, media, observation, posting, social, social media
Banana boats are powered by bananas. Everyone knows this.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, banana, boat, everyone, fruit, humor, joke, powered, sailing
Imagine hating me, and I’m over here with one hand in my pocket, and the other one giving a high five.

0

2 months ago

attitude, carefree, five, friendship, giving, hand, hatred, here, high, high five, humor, imagine, me, over, pocket, positivity, self-confidence

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

11 shares on WeChat this month:

How bad can a decision really be if nobody from the future shows up to stop you?

88 shares on TikTok this month:

I’ve been in a bad mood since like 2010.

79 shares on Pinterest this month:

No one told me adulthood would require this much multi-factor authentication.

70 shares on Instagram this month:

My life plans are fading like Marty McFly’s family photo.

54 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I pretend I don’t care about stuff, but that’s only because I have no idea what’s going on around me at any given time.

39 shares on TikTok this month:

I am a man, a man with a cold, so I guess this is goodbye.

98 shares on TikTok this month:

Every time I think I’m cooked, God moves mountains for me. That’s so nice of Him.

81 shares on Threads this month:

When I was a kid, we weren’t allowed to use our phones in school. Mainly because the cords wouldn’t reach.

55 shares on Instagram this month:

It’s always “your monthly bill is available,” never “this month is on us.”

83 shares on Pinterest this month:

Nothing worse than realising you vented to the wrong person.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Doesn’t matter if the chicken or the egg came first. Still a weird thing to just appear.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

I love saying “You’re welcome!” really loudly when someone hasn’t thanked me.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

I feel bad for those that don’t enjoy their own company. I be having a ball by myself.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

For my next trick, I’ll watch a two-hour movie in four.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Release that sexual frustration, get a burger.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Just because you haven’t found the right person, doesn’t mean you will.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

The heart wants what it wants, but it’s not the only organ that has a vote.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

I tell it like it is: Sometimes I watch the calls on my cell phone and just wait for it to stop ringing.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Ex’s be like “I gave you everything”. Yeah, trust issues.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Normalize having a threatening aura, but really just being a sweetheart.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Did anyone else use grocery bags as textbook covers, or was I just that poor?

Breaking via WeChat:

Being single: When you don’t have to wait for someone to watch the next Netflix episode.

Trending via Threads:

In honor of the winter solstice, I also will be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

“I have a favourite hole”, me, at the pool table.

Breaking via Telegram:

Went to HR to complain about my coworkers but my mom said she can’t fire my kids.

Just landed via WeChat:

My toxic trait is that I give my friends mental health advice when I belong in an asylum.

Going bananas on Discord:

Telling your parents about your problems is like adding another problem to your life.

Trending via Instagram:

Welcome, new followers! It’s all downhill from here.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Driving between speed cameras is called intermittent fasting.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I am deeply overwhelmed and yet incredibly bored at the same time.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Am I finishing my education or is my education finishing me?

Maybe one day a street will be named after me. Or a school. Or a mental hospital.

The worst thing about being an adult is that you have to be one every single day.

Keep posting, I’m diagnosing you.

Banana boats are powered by bananas. Everyone knows this.

Imagine hating me, and I’m over here with one hand in my pocket, and the other one giving a high five.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨