Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Gonna mess with my husband by texting “send nudes” when he’s in a work meeting.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Today I started gardening. I planted myself in front of the TV and I sat there the entire day.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Our house is so messy that if we ever disappeared, the police would have no idea if there were “signs of a struggle”.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Probably the worst thing about the death of print media is the devastating effect it’s having on the producers of traditional ransom notes.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

You don’t see people giving bunny ears in photos anymore.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40s. “I’m too old for this shit” is now your excuse and explanation for everything.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

This is the wrong generation for people with an old soul.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

If you would just let me help, you’d be in an even worse position than you are now.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

I’m not even doomscrolling anymore; I’m just regular scrolling, and everything’s doomed.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m not saving daylight. I’m the one that needs saving.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,254

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Slack:

Parenting a teenager is surreal because you’ll be sitting there, and some dude who is much taller than you will walk around the corner and ask you how to open a popcorn bag.

Live now on Slack:

I’m gonna put “CEO of Blockbuster Video” on my resume because who are they gonna call to confirm?

Just shared via Messenger:

My therapist said cutting people off isn’t healthy. She’s next.

Making waves on TikTok:

I do my best to kill everyone with kindness, but they don’t seem to be dying.

Shared recently on Slack:

Who really needs jetpacks, I want to be able to start over from my last save point.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

In these difficult times, it’s important to remember that cheese exists.

Breaking via WeChat:

I haven’t lost my virginity because I never lose.

Going viral on Discord:

I’m not afraid of ghosts because everyone who’s mad at me is still alive.

Breaking via Telegram:

Shutting up is gluten-free. Maybe add that to your diet, princess.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

“Your sock has a hole in it!” Yeah, no shit, that’s how I get my foot in there.

I can’t date until the curse is lifted.

0
I can’t date until the curse is lifted.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like someone's love life needs a little magic to break the curse! ✨🧙‍♂️ Who knew dating could come with so many spells and incantations? 🔮💔 #LoveSpellGoneWrong"

, , , , , , ,

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When I was in elementary school, we learned about a shape called a rhombus, and that was the last time I ever heard about that shape ever again.

97 shares on Facebook this month:

Welcome to Elephant in the Room club, no one talks about it.

100 shares on Telegram this month:

After you do your laundry, you should be allowed to get in the dryer and tumble for a little. No charge.

55 shares on Messenger this month:

Of course, my summer body is ready; it’s the same as my winter body but sweatier.

57 shares on Discord this month:

Hello bedtime my old friend, my brain is laughing once again.

74 shares on YouTube this month:

I think it’s time when we buy new clothes that we have the option to buy the body they’re being modelled in too.

51 shares on Twitch this month:

People just don’t build cities on rock and roll anymore.

67 shares on Threads this month:

Money talks, and also waves goodbye.

66 shares on Messenger this month:

He called me delusional, but I think he meant delicious.

25 shares on Facebook this month:

You don’t realize how incorrect and annoying YouTube video essays are until they’re about something you like.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I bought a book on Feng Shui, but I don’t know where to put it.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If I were a category, I’d be “miscellaneous.”

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The lion doesn’t concern himself with credit card debt.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If you can’t wow them with wisdom, baffle them with bullshit.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I asked Tom Hanks for his autograph, but all he wrote was thanks.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s crazy that you don’t really argue with a baby for the first year of its life and then you have to argue with the baby every day.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Starting all my work emails today with, “to whom it’s about to concern”.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a Sunday that’s longer than a couple of minutes.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I put the ‘no’ in ‘I will let u know’.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I downloaded a meditation app. Now I’m stressed about missing sessions.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,541

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

I was sad, but then I ordered some new clothes. I’m okay now.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

If oats can be milk, you can be whatever you want.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

When gearing up for a mountain climbing adventure it is important to remember to no.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Hey, so this Mercury retrograde is actually really demonic and soul-crippling. Let’s wrap this up by midnight.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

The days will soon be shorter again. Then it won’t rain for so long.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Relationships are actually easy when you’re not dating a lying weirdo.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Help, I accidentally used dark humor with normal people, and now they’re concerned for my mental health.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

What if you went to ET’s planet and all of the other ET’s were wearing clothes?

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Looks like it’s just you and me tonight, family size Toblerone.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

I won’t bore you with my problems because all of my problems are fascinating.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

The week between Christmas and New Year’s should be studied as it is clearly a wormhole, disturbing time and space.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

(lost in the labyrinth and I’m wearing a Fitbit) Nice, got my 10,000 steps.

Spotted on Instagram:

Typos is the Greek god of spelling errors.

Making waves on X:

Unemployed folks always have esoteric knowledge, for some reason.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

The world would be a much nicer place if we just turn off the news.

Shared recently on X:

Mice after a breakup be like “we are not on squeaking terms”.

Spotted on YouTube:

Back to the Future and chill?

Going viral on Discord:

Me: Maybe it’s the weed talking but your apartment seems enormous. IKEA Manager: Sir.

Making waves on Instagram:

If you need me, I will be at the library sniffing old books.

Making waves on Reddit:

Thank you two-step authentication codes that expire after 60 seconds for providing Mission Impossible-type drama into my mundane suburban existence.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴