Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

I just think we should kiss. And kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss. But that’s just me.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m feeling sexy today. You’ve been warned.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Blocking him isn’t enough. I need to watch his hairline recede.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

I need you to think about me 23/7. You get 1 hour a day for yourself.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, can you give it a really good massage?

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Mario Kart turned out to be the best training for winter driving.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Remember you are dust and, after you send this email, to dust you shall return.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Saying “Who is it?” when the doctor knocks on the exam room door.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Police officer: please step out of your vehicle. Me: after this song, hold on.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Once you find a pair of pants that fit you perfectly, it’s over for all your other pants.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,260

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

Let’s skip the getting-to-know-you phase. Just block me.

Just landed via Reddit:

“Stop overthinking.” Oh, wow. Hadn’t considered that. Solved.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Teach a man to fish, and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach your kid about stingrays, and he will pretend to sting you all afternoon.

Spotted on TikTok:

You will be having the worst morning of your life and then someone will start mowing their lawn.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Why would anyone ever jump OUT of a cake?

Trending via Twitch:

Ouija boards are like unannounced phone calls for ghosts.

Live now on WeChat:

Welcome to the internet, where people are confidently wrong all the time.

Just landed via TikTok:

If it hurts you more than it hurts them, you are holding the taser wrong.

Seen just now on Discord:

I’m never wrong. Just different levels of right.

Shared recently on Threads:

When someone dies people say “he’s going to meet his Maker”. No he’s not. God doesn’t mingle with the staff.

I had zero respect for my boss until he started appearing exclusively by hologram.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When your boss upgrades to version 2.0 and unlocks the 'Holo-perk' 😂📡✨ #NextLevelLeadership"

appearing, boss, hologram, humor, i, joke, respect, technology, workplace, zero

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If boring was a brand, you’d be the ambassador.

0

5 months ago

ambassador, boring, brand, humor, insult, sarcasm
It’s not the destination that matters. It’s the snacks you eat on the way.

0

2 months ago

activity, destination, eat, food, fun, fun activity, humor, journey, matters, road, road trip, snacks, travel, trip
Lord of the Rings is wild cause Gandalf told Frodo he had to go on a super dangerous journey and Frodo was like “Ok, can I bring my gardener?”

0

2 months ago

adventure, dangerous, dangerous journey, fantasy, friendship, Frodo, Gandalf, gardener, humor, journey, lord, Lord of the Rings, rings
The urge to buy people gifts they’ve mentioned they liked once.

0

2 months ago

buy, gift, gifts, liked, mention, once, people, urge
My teen would like you to know I ruined her life when I did her laundry today.

0

2 months ago

chores, cleaning, family, humor, i, laundry, life, parenting, ruin, teen, today
Anytime I switch deodorants, it’s like a sexy stranger is following me around all day.

0

2 months ago

anytime, around, care, confidence, day, deodorant, following, humor, i, me, personal, personal care, scent, sexy, stranger, switch

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on Reddit this month:

If hot showers aren’t good for you then why do I emerge from them bright red like a beautiful ruby?

12 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“I’m a very sleepy person, just at all the wrong times.”

76 shares on Telegram this month:

Imagine the sound a centipede would make if they wore tiny flip flops.

61 shares on TikTok this month:

Increasing the amount of high fives I give my boss each day until he quits his job.

13 shares on Pinterest this month:

Perhaps moths don’t seek the light, but are simply fleeing the darkness.

22 shares on Pinterest this month:

Imagine hating me and i’m just over here doing a much better job at hating myself than any of y’all could do.

82 shares on X this month:

When you want to key his car, but he doesn’t have one, so you bend his bus pass.

18 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Even a broken shrimp fries rice twice a day.

59 shares on X this month:

I don’t even believe myself when I say I’ll be ready in 5 minutes.

74 shares on Slack this month:

People aren’t too bad if you stay away from them and don’t go outside.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

The goose: Canada’s most violent saxophone.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

I hope the ghost of Michael Jackson Hee-Hee’s in your ear while you tryna sleep.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Male barista called me “my love” yesterday and didn’t say it today… getting mixed signals and feeling really upset.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Beavers are also just otters that have learned carpentry.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Doing all of this just to die in the end! LMAO!

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Rudolph, with your nose so bright, help me find my phone tonight.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

You’re so cultured I’mma start calling you Yogurt.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

I ordered one of those Tempura mattresses. Way too crunchy.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not dying, it’s just Thursday.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Sometimes happiness is just having a good night’s sleep.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Taking off my house pajamas to put on my errands pajamas.

Going viral on Twitch:

The trick is to be born in the right place and at the right time. If you mess that up, it gets tedious.

Making waves on Reddit:

Acceptance truly begins when you ask Alexa to play classic rock and she plays a song that came out when you were in high school.

Making waves on YouTube:

I already want to take a nap tomorrow.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I had zero respect for my boss until he started appearing exclusively by hologram.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If boring was a brand, you’d be the ambassador.

It’s not the destination that matters. It’s the snacks you eat on the way.

Lord of the Rings is wild cause Gandalf told Frodo he had to go on a super dangerous journey and Frodo was like “Ok, can I bring my gardener?”

The urge to buy people gifts they’ve mentioned they liked once.

My teen would like you to know I ruined her life when I did her laundry today.

Anytime I switch deodorants, it’s like a sexy stranger is following me around all day.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨