Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

I shaved my legs today and it was the fastest 3lbs I’ve ever lost in my life.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

I’ll never understand why the volume in movies is always mixed in such a way that you can barely understand the dialog and your neighbor gets war flashbacks during action scenes.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Adulthood is realising no one cares about you, and the show must go on.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

It is very hard to set aside the time to do your taxes when you are really busy doing other things like eating a snack or looking around the room.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Pretty cool that we all come together on Christmas and celebrate the birth of Santa.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Burger King implies the existence of an entire burger based feudal system.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

I had bad luck with women twice. The first left me, the second stayed.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Relationship status: I love my bed.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Men, it’s really simple. We want everything, but nothing, at the same time or different times, sometimes but not always.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Unfortunately, a great many problems in life can be solved by just being hotter.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,497

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

Excuse me, but would you sign my petition to ban petitions?

Breaking via X:

Hair is washed. I am finally lovable and capable of loving again.

Making waves on WeChat:

To the knife wielding psycho who walked in on me in the shower; I’m sorry you had to see that.

Trending via Telegram:

The urge to pee in the morning is so aggressive. Bro, like, chill we’re getting there. Don’t threaten to come out.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I’ve been thinking. Is ‘fat’ short for anything? Like an old word or something?

Spotted on LinkedIn:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, spreading goat cheese on a bagel.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

If lying was a job some people would be billionaires.

Just landed via Slack:

Hi, I’m a social media user, you might know me from such hits as “I’m leaving this stupid place” and “I’m back everybody.”

Freshly posted on Telegram:

If I ever go missing, check the snack aisle. I’m probably just deciding.

Trending via Slack:

Do you ever think back about all the crazy stuff you did when you were younger, and wonder how you’re still alive?

I had zero respect for my boss until he started appearing exclusively by hologram.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When your boss upgrades to version 2.0 and unlocks the 'Holo-perk' 😂📡✨ #NextLevelLeadership"

appearing, boss, hologram, humor, i, joke, respect, technology, workplace, zero

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m a “I have an appointment later, so I can’t do anything else for the rest of the day” kind of person.

0

2 months ago

anything, appointment, busy, day, day off, else, excuse, humor, i, later, management, person, procrastination, rest, time, time management
Apparently, throwing the remote against the wall didn’t help recharging the batteries.

0

2 months ago

battery, frustration, help, household, humor, recharge, recharging, remote, technology, throwing, wall
I tried meowing back at the cat to show him I was making an effort, but he just switched to English.

0

2 months ago

animal, animal communication, back, barrier, cat, cats, communication, effort, English, humor, i, joke, just, language, language barrier, language joke, making, meowing, quirky, show, tried
Every time someone tries to fight with me online, a middle finger gets its wings.

0

2 months ago

conflict, every, fight, finger, humor, me, media, middle, middle finger, online, reaction, social, social media, someone, time, wings
Getting to know someone these days is impossible. No one is really single, everyone has something going on, is hung up on their ex or is otherwise damaged in some way.

0

2 months ago

baggage, damaged, dating, days, emotional, emotional baggage, everyone, ex, getting, getting to know, going, impossible, know, love, modern, modern love, relationship, single, someone, something
Long sandwiches should have suitcase handles.

0

2 months ago

convenience, design, food, handles, humor, practicality, sandwich, suitcase

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on Reddit this month:

Thanksgiving is just me trying to look cute while holding a fork like a medieval warrior.

13 shares on TikTok this month:

I came up with my passwords when I was 12, and never looked back.

46 shares on Slack this month:

Boyfriends come and go… reply guys stay forever. Against your will, even.

48 shares on TikTok this month:

Companies post open positions online and then ask you why you applied to them.

78 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The rumors of my will to live have been greatly exaggerated.

94 shares on WeChat this month:

When I was a little kid, I used to think, “This little pig went to market,” meant it was going shopping!

17 shares on Messenger this month:

It takes guts to be an organ donor.

89 shares on TikTok this month:

If you put a pizza on top of a pizza, you have two pizzas. But if you stack two lasagnas, then you still have one lasagna.

84 shares on Pinterest this month:

“You look happy.” Thanks, I stopped dating.

65 shares on Messenger this month:

God: “I used to work in mysterious ways but now I’m unemployed.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Laying in bed with the nervous system of someone going to war.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Time travel is all well and good, but I feel so stupid right now. None of them have the mustache. No way to tell which baby is Hitler.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

I can’t stand people who require so much validation. Please like and share this if you agree.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Coolest part about starting a new job is the immunity to disease you get for 3 months till you get sick days.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Hot person: wow, everyone here is so nice.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Few things in life are as disappointing as having to poop right after a shower.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

I told my GPS I needed direction in life, and now it insists on recalculating every hour.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Not now, I’m befriending a crow and teaching it how to deliver handwritten love notes.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

A camel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Hey, you can’t bring your own drinks in here!”

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

If you stand too close to me in the check out line, you may as well pay for my stuff while you’re breathing down my neck.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Jobs be asking me for 3 references, and I think I might start doing the same. Like, let me talk to 3 happy employees, please.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Hate when you’re trying to take a nap and the dentist is all “Please open your mouth.”

Just shared via Telegram:

I’d post more pics, but I don’t want y’all falling in love all at once.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I like to scan my backyard every hour with a high power flashlight to let my neighbors know I won’t tolerate any weirdness around here.

Spotted on Facebook:

Forgetting your phone at home is the modern equivalent of leaving your sword behind in medieval times.

Making waves on Slack:

Apparently, everyone on the Zoom calls outside my office finds my singing distracting.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

My problem areas are my upper arms and earth.

Just landed via Telegram:

When they dress up really nice, but all you can think about is the thrill of taking it off.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Fyi, if you like listening to “rain sounds,” they’re almost all recordings of chicken being fried.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I had zero respect for my boss until he started appearing exclusively by hologram.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’m a “I have an appointment later, so I can’t do anything else for the rest of the day” kind of person.

Apparently, throwing the remote against the wall didn’t help recharging the batteries.

I tried meowing back at the cat to show him I was making an effort, but he just switched to English.

Every time someone tries to fight with me online, a middle finger gets its wings.

Getting to know someone these days is impossible. No one is really single, everyone has something going on, is hung up on their ex or is otherwise damaged in some way.

Long sandwiches should have suitcase handles.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨