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Accordion to a recent survey, inserting musical instruments into sentences largely goes unnoticed.

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Update on my fitness journey: My wife just handed me a bag of apples at the market and said, “careful, it’s heavy.”

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I’m a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

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And where did Mr. Pepper receive his degree from exactly?

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I broke up with the gym. We were just not working out.

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Sure I collect antiques, if you count the late-century spices in my pantry.

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My anti-theft device in my car is that itโ€™s manual.

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I love saying “why would I lie” when I’m lying.

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My dog sighs a lot for someone who doesnโ€™t pay any bills.

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You canโ€™t spell dyslexia without sexy.

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I love asking 5 different people for advice then doing what I want.

I love asking 5 different people for advice then doing what I want.

Commentary:
"Seeking advice just to let it float away like a leaf in the wind ๐Ÿƒ Who needs a Magic 8-Ball when you've got your own mind, am I right? ๐Ÿ˜‚ It's like a choose-your-own-adventure game, but with a real-life twist! ๐Ÿค”๐Ÿ’โ€โ™‚๏ธ #RebelWithACause"



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