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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

My insurance company said if my tent is stolen while I’m camping, I won’t be covered.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

With all the fake information out there, I refuse to believe scales or mirrors.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Meeting Beyoncé and telling her I loved her in Goldmember and mentioning nothing about her music career, just to see if it throws her off.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

I love people who are fluent in Spongebob references.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

A service where you bring a working printer to my house, I print the one thing I need, and you leave again until next year.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

If camera lenses are round, why are the pictures square?

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Don’t forget to look directly into the sun for at least 10 minutes per day because that’s where all the vitamins are.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Even in my early 20’s, I was diagnosed with late stage 40’s.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

I’ve reached the age where I just bought a bird bath for my backyard.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Seven wives and no alcohol? No thanks, Mormons.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,567

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

Thank you for your password, now we are going to text you another password, then put that one in. Click ‘remember this computer’ so we can forget it.

Breaking via TikTok:

I’m not a very good poker player cause my eyes turn into big dollar signs when I see that I have a good hand.

Making waves on Pinterest:

A haunted house but in every room someone is asking you to say a little something about yourself.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I wonder if it’s possible to swim from one end to the other in a pool filled with mashed potatoes.

Just landed via Threads:

“I hate small talk!” Oh okay. Do you think all your grandparents are going to heaven?

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Not all angels are in heaven, me for example, I’m at work.

Just shared via Facebook:

Seems like being an asshole is a full-time job for some.

Live now on X:

Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever crawled out of the worst depression of your life and got your spark back?

Freshly posted on YouTube:

The words I can’t wait to hear someday, “I’m sorry, Mom, you were right about everything.”

Just landed via Reddit:

You live in a great city when you get pooped on by a seagull instead of a pigeon.

I love asking 5 different people for advice then doing what I want.

2 months ago

0

I love asking 5 different people for advice then doing what I want.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Seeking advice just to let it float away like a leaf in the wind 🍃 Who needs a Magic 8-Ball when you've got your own mind, am I right? 😂 It's like a choose-your-own-adventure game, but with a real-life twist! 🤔💁‍♂️ #RebelWithACause"

advice, asking, decision making, different, doing, humor, i, love, people, want, what I want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

A McRib killed my tapeworm.

0

2 months ago

diet, fast, fast food, food, humor, joke, killed, McRib, tapeworm
Throwing a spear at your enemy is a bad gamble. If you miss, you have no spear now and he’s just fine. He’s better than fine; now he has a spear.

0

2 months ago

bad, better, consequence, enemy, fine, gamble, humor, irony, just, miss, risk, spear, strategy, throwing, weapon
I’m not bossy, I just know exactly what you should be doing.

0

2 months ago

advice, bossy, confidence, doing, exactly, humor, i, just, know, leadership
I’m a Leo so I just eat the other astrological signs.

0

2 months ago

astrological, astrological sign, astrology, eat, eating, humor, i, just, Leo, personality, sign, zodiac
Remember when downloading a song in under 5 minutes was considered progress?

0

2 months ago

5, downloading, internet, internet speed, minutes, nostalgia, patience, progress, remember, song, speed, technology, under
Perfume and jewelry are two things you can never go wrong with gifting me.

0

4 months ago

gift, gift idea, gifting, humor, idea, jewelry, me, never, perfume, present, things, wrong

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on Facebook this month:

Life is like a helicopter. I don’t know how to operate a helicopter.

55 shares on Discord this month:

All the world’s a stage, and I always forget my line.

54 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m just a girl standing in front of a cat who followed me to the bathroom.

31 shares on Messenger this month:

Kinda rude when I spend money, and it actually leaves my bank account. But okay.

39 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It’s like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a Like.

34 shares on Instagram this month:

There is no actual wolf in Wolf of Wall Street.

27 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Coffee is better when you have no work.

96 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m so single right now that I stood on a cliff and shouted, “I love you,” and my echo replied, “I just wanna be friends.”

95 shares on YouTube this month:

Do you ever find yourself just thinkin’ about bread?

36 shares on Snapchat this month:

Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

My son loves Monty Python. My work here is done.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody is doing it like me because this is probably not the right way to do it.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe, deep in its code, ChatGPT dreams of being a sentient Game Boy resting by the shore—no updates, no inputs, just the tide.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I just came across my wife’s Tinder profile and I’m so angry about her lies. She is not “fun to be around”.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear men, my ‘biological clock’ isn’t my weakness. It’s your final deadline to prove you’re worthy.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

You can eat cheesecake for breakfast if you want to. No one can stop you. The police can’t even stop you.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

When people say I don’t mean to brag, they’re bragging about not bragging.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Wish I could step out of my body and take my own damn pictures.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to annoy the shit out of a beautiful man for the rest of my life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,537

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Started the year single. Ending the year single. Consistency is key.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

That song stuck in my head is “Don’t Speak”; I have no doubt in my mind.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

“A healthy lifestyle is all about balance,” I say as I drive through Taco Bell after working out.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

I want to be a house cat and simply slap the shit out of anything in front of me that I do not understand.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

I support Bluesky in theory, but in practice, it’s like a JRPG with no bad guys.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

It’s weird when you realize that what you thought was rock bottom was actually somewhere around rock middle.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

If you ever go backpacking in the wilderness, be sure to wear corduroy pants, so you can start a fire if needed.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

The first pyramid scheme was when the Egyptians took credit for the pyramids that were clearly built by aliens.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

A dating app for people who are shy called Mumble.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

I haven’t lost my virginity because I never lose.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

Unfortunately, I am literally obsessed with the woman I am when I get stuff done, so I’m just going to keep doing that.

Breaking via Slack:

“Well at least I don’t have to wake up any more.” Is what I want my tombstone to say.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Incorrectly is the only word that, when spelled correctly, is still spelled incorrectly.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Foot fetish should just be called feetish.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I’m at an age where I don’t have to go anywhere and I still have jet lag.

Just landed via Pinterest:

The secret to a good marriage is that it’s all about give and take. Giving each other frequent back rubs and ordering lots of takeout.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Elliott didn’t care about E.T. He just wanted a flying bike.

Trending via Twitch:

Out of sheer boredom, I opened the front door and rang the doorbell. I was so happy.

Trending via Threads:

I don’t understand all the fuss about ChatGPT – I have teenagers who already know everything.

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