Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Out of Office: I am on vacation. Your emails will be forwarded nowhere to be read by no one. Good day.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

Aging isn’t even 1% as scary as whatever is going on with the people trying not to.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

When I was a kid there were two sure ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Meetings are great because who doesn’t like being held hostage?

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

There’s something so spiritual about new life. When I look my baby nephew in the eyes, I can’t stop thinking about how amazing it will be to connect with him on LinkedIn.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Napping is the best activity for weight loss, because I can’t eat anything when I’m asleep!

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

I don’t understand people who do things on weekends. You just did things all week. What’s next, more things? That’s how they get you.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Shazam-ing a song in public feels the same as taking out a big hammer and bonking yourself on the head.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Asian girl at tech company: Wow, everyone here is so friendly.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Shout out to the people getting $400 hotel rooms on Feb 14th to do the same two positions they do at home.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,405

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

Single for Christmas, but at least I won’t be buying presents for a liar.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Money talks, and also waves goodbye.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

It’s so hot out here, I saw a bird blowing on a worm before he ate it.

Spotted on YouTube:

A gentleman always straightens out the vending machine after shaking it.

I realized being an adult is just feeling too tired to function, and then functioning.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Adulting: when your spirit animal is a coffee cup and willpower is your superpower! ☕💪😴

adult, being, fatigue, feeling, function, functioning, humor, i, just, relatable, tired, tiredness, too

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I need someone to wring out my brain like a dishrag.

0

2 months ago

brain, dishrag, health, humor, i, mental, mental health, need, someone, thoughts, wring
When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little mysteries you get to solve later on.

0

2 months ago

bad, fun, handwriting, humor, just, later, little, mystery, notes, solve, writing, yourself
What if we kissed while watching the decay of our society?

0

2 months ago

date, decay, existentialism, humor, irony, kiss, observation, relationship, romance, society, watching
Sex before marriage is a sin unless you do it doggy style, because all dogs go to heaven. Follow me for more biblical loopholes.

0

2 months ago

before, biblical, biblical loophole, dog, doggy, doggy style, dogs, follow, heaven, humor, joke, loophole, marriage, me, sex, sin, style
I’m at the age where I won’t make eye contact with someone because they look like a “talker.”

0

2 months ago

age, communication, contact, eye, eye contact, humor, i, interaction, social, social interaction, someone, talker, where
There are advantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it. There are disadvantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it.

0

2 months ago

advantages, alone, always, disadvantages, everything, home, humor, irony, living, living alone, organization, put, solitude, where

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’ve just learned terrible news. My department at work is planning a team-building retreat. Thank you for your thoughts during this difficult time.

20 shares on Slack this month:

It’s my birthday, but I’m not gonna post about it for attention like some kind of loser.

16 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t think fish should be allowed to eat other fish. I don’t know. Just seems weird. That’s like your coworker, dude.

20 shares on Discord this month:

Sometimes I think I should talk to my colleagues more often. Until I talk to my colleagues.

10 shares on X this month:

If you see me out running, you should run too, because something is definitely chasing me.

71 shares on Discord this month:

I speak my mind, cause it hurts when I bite my tongue.

85 shares on Threads this month:

If I was on Love Island, I would get wasted and drown in the pool, altering the course of every contestant’s life forever.

68 shares on Facebook this month:

You’ll never be as lazy as the person who named the fireplace.

76 shares on Threads this month:

I feel like I’m in jail when I’m around unfunny people for too long.

68 shares on TikTok this month:

Gen Z will be like “OMG new life hack!” and then it’s a video of them adjusting the toaster dial.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked Jesus Christ of Nazareth.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Your honor, I have a role to play as the black sheep of the family.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

You should never forget where you came from. That’s probably where your keys are.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

People would be more motivated to lose weight if the weight they lost went on to someone they didn’t like.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

How do I tell the mosquitoes that I don’t consent?

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

I always bring a glass of water to bed with me so I have something to knock over in the middle of the night.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

I don’t like this new trend of old people wearing shirts of bands I listened to when I was a kid.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Doing dishes is like fighting a hydra — wash one, and two more appear.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

When a girl is done with you, she talks to you like she’s in HR or something.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m gonna build a pirate ship and sail the high seas. Who’s coming with?

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via LinkedIn:

If you don’t know how many x-rays it takes before a person develops super powers, should you really be in a medical profession?

Freshly posted on Twitch:

My dog sighs a lot for someone who doesn’t pay any bills.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Netflix be like “we know exactly what movie you talkin’ ’bout but we ain’t got it lol”.

Going bananas on Threads:

Googling what ASAP means, and having a panic attack.

Just shared via Telegram:

What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing ‘k’ instead of ‘ok’?

Just shared via Messenger:

Do I work hard? No. But do I work smart to compensate. Absolutely not.

Breaking via Instagram:

When you look this sexy, they should let you leave work early.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I bet being full feels so good for the moon.

Just landed via WeChat:

Men are very good at being women lately.

Going viral on Messenger:

Nose so runny it just signed me up for a 10k.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I realized being an adult is just feeling too tired to function, and then functioning.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I need someone to wring out my brain like a dishrag.

When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little mysteries you get to solve later on.

What if we kissed while watching the decay of our society?

Sex before marriage is a sin unless you do it doggy style, because all dogs go to heaven. Follow me for more biblical loopholes.

I’m at the age where I won’t make eye contact with someone because they look like a “talker.”

There are advantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it. There are disadvantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨