I think I’ll spend my savings on a lifetime supply of… Commentary:"Who needs a retirement fund when you can invest in carbs? 🍝💸 #PastaOverPockets #CarbConnoisseur" Related Funny Posts 🤝 The hard part about dating is finding someone who’s mentally ill enough to understand you, but not mentally ill enough to ruin your life. If anyone wants a more cost effective energy provider, I can supply endless energy on tap from my absolutely not tired child at bedtime. A single garbageman contributes more to society before lunch than every crypto trader and op-ed writer combined does in their lifetime. If I had a dollar for every time someone called me fat, I’d probably just spend it on more bacon. Paycheck hit. I’m at Michaels Arts & Crafts supply store telling them to bring out Michael.