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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

I don’t push people away, I just do the Macarena.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Are you ever so happy to be in bed, you wish you could be even more in bed than you already are?

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

My dad called my philosophy degree a “license for unemployment.”

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Cholesterol has a special place in my heart.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Instead of screaming into the void, I’m going to ask it for recipes.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Threw my back out due to overwhelming sensuality again.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

I’m not drunk enough for this Teams meeting.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

I’ve already picked out my sweatpants for New Year’s Eve.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

I’m not “dating to marry” or “dating for fun.” I’m dating for a secret third reason.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

They’re selling me on Temu tomorrow.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,611

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

You’ll never be as lazy as the person who named the fireplace.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Twitter is an abusement park.

Just shared via Slack:

Apparently, when you treat people like they treat you, they get upset.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I avoid drama by being unpopular.

Live now on WeChat:

Apparently, the job interviewer doesn’t like it when your biggest weakness is beautiful Latinas.

Trending via WeChat:

My whole life, I never read a warning label telling me not to eat laundry detergent or put glue in my hair, somehow I just knew.

Trending via TikTok:

I just be minding my business, and next thing you know, a payment is due.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I’m a big fan of that post-laundry feeling when you’ve got all your A-list clothes back in the game.

Trending via TikTok:

Call me constipated the way I don’t give a shit.

Spotted on Threads:

A hacker called me and said he had all my passwords. I got a pen and paper and said ‘Thank God for that, what are they?’

I told my wife to embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like you got a warm reminder that you're #1! 😂🤗 #EmbracingMistakes #HugItOut"

embrace, hug, humor, i, joke, marriage, me, mistake, mistakes, relationship, told, wife

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I kind of can’t wait for my generation to be bumping 90’s hip hop, rap, and heavy metal at the old folks’ homes.

0

3 months ago

90s, 90s hip hop, citizen, folks, generation, heavy, heavy metal, hip, home, homes, hop, humor, i, kind, metal, music, nostalgia, old, old folks’ home, rap, senior, senior citizen, wait
Slipping into something more comfortable, another dimension.

0

4 months ago

alternate, alternate reality, another, comfortable, dimension, humor, reality, slip, slipping, something
I, unfortunately, was born without any interest in Avatar.

0

2 days ago

Avatar, born, disappointment, fandom, humor, i, interest, unfortunately
I no longer need an alarm clock because I’m over 40 and have a bladder.

0

2 months ago

40, age, alarm, alarm clock, bladder, changes, clock, humor, i, life, life changes, need, over, over 40, sleep, waking, waking up
You cannot go outside for a year or two. Come back, and the same people still be outside in the same places.

0

2 months ago

back, going, going outside, humor, observation, outside, people, place, places, routine, same, still, time, year
Today’s book recommendation: “The Art of Silence” by the famous Chinese philosopher Shut-Up.

0

2 months ago

art, book, Chinese, comedy, humor, philosopher, pun, recommendation, silence

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on Instagram this month:

We need a true crime show called Downtown Stabby.

13 shares on Twitch this month:

“Get a life!” Have you seen some of the lives out there?

90 shares on Discord this month:

Someone asked me how much I normally spend on a bottle of wine. Answering “usually an hour” wasn’t the right answer. I know this now.

61 shares on Messenger this month:

I made up all these romantic scenarios in my brain and you’re not following the script.

48 shares on Threads this month:

My Mom asks why everything is on the floor, like she never heard of gravity.

76 shares on Slack this month:

Nothing angers me more than tall ghosts in horror movies. No one born in 1782 was that tall. Do your research, screenwriters.

21 shares on Snapchat this month:

Don’t judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect.

62 shares on Twitch this month:

I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance: waiting for the bathroom.

57 shares on Facebook this month:

Calling someone a “tough cookie” is not a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

86 shares on YouTube this month:

Cheers to all who skipped that one dish at Thanksgiving because you just didn’t trust the person who brought it.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

As a man, it’s my job to mistake kindness for flirting.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

My IQ used to be higher than my weight, but now I’m fat and dumb.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

A pretty girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Please don’t celebrate April Fool’s day if you’re not a fool. My culture is not your costume.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

You don’t realize how incorrect and annoying YouTube video essays are until they’re about something you like.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

The hardest thing about chess is the other guy is always doing some shit.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

“November Rain” is just 9 minutes of me realizing I’m too dramatic to date someone with healthy coping skills.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m not sure my body can handle much more of this “getting out of bed” nonsense.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

I bet she doesn’t even laugh at your dumb jokes the fake way I did.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

You can’t hurt me. You’re not how I look first thing in the morning.

Going viral on Slack:

I’ve decided that I’m going to underthink today.

Seen just now on Twitch:

We could have high-speed rail that connects the entire country, but instead we get AI porn bots that steal all of our drinking water to entertain the dumbest people alive.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I bought a book on Feng Shui, but I don’t know where to put it.

Trending via WeChat:

Give it to me straight, doc, what can I do to be healthier besides changing my entire lifestyle?

Trending via WhatsApp:

My bit for Thanksgiving is going to be constantly bringing up politics, but pronouncing every politician’s name slightly incorrectly.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Studies show young people are having less sex than previous generations. I knew I was ahead of my time.

Spotted on Telegram:

Imagine you’re on jury duty and the courtroom sketch artist draws stink lines above you.

Just landed via Telegram:

I have no issue with people talking in the morning. But not with me, please!

Broadcasted on Slack:

Proudly doing my part to cause the male loneliness epidemic.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I told my wife to embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I kind of can’t wait for my generation to be bumping 90’s hip hop, rap, and heavy metal at the old folks’ homes.

Slipping into something more comfortable, another dimension.

I, unfortunately, was born without any interest in Avatar.

I no longer need an alarm clock because I’m over 40 and have a bladder.

You cannot go outside for a year or two. Come back, and the same people still be outside in the same places.

Today’s book recommendation: “The Art of Silence” by the famous Chinese philosopher Shut-Up.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨