Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

I think I’ll just sit here and waste oxygen all day.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

If you collect the crumbs from one Nature Valley granola bar, you can make three more granola bars.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

I was telling my sister that I’ve been going to the gym recently, and my nephew said, “You should go inside when you get there,” and I don’t think I’ll ever recover from that.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

“Don’t bring a knife to a gun fight!” Okay, then explain bayonets to me.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Nobody ever talks about how Sodom and Gomorrah were walkable cities.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

This too shall pass… It may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

I just want everyone to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Paid my rent and slept in every room of my house this week, kitchen and laundry room next.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

“Communism sounds good in theory, but doesn’t work in practice.” Capitalism doesn’t even sound good in theory.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,231

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via TikTok:

The introvert urge to leave a social event without saying goodbye to anyone.

Seen just now on Discord:

Blocking isn’t enough. I wanna throw tomatoes at you like you’re a medieval criminal.

Trending via Instagram:

Home is where the clothes rack stands in the way.

Making waves on Slack:

My skin is so dry it’s doing a PowerPoint presentation.

Trending via WeChat:

The Playstation is broken and the child has noticed that I live here too.

Just shared via X:

I want a pet eagle that’s trained to steal people’s sandwiches for me.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little riddles you get to solve later.

Just landed via Twitch:

No one comes off looking worse than the third party who was asked to interfere in a couple fight.

Seen just now on WeChat:

You can just comment, “You two look nice,” on a photo of three people. It’s free and legal.

I used to love going out with people. Now I weigh the pros and cons of human interaction, like it’s a business decision.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Considering a night out with friends? Let me just pull out the spreadsheet and punch some numbers first 😂📊🤔

business, business decision, cons, decision, decision making, going, human, human interaction, humor, i, interaction, introversion, love, making, people, pros, pros and cons, socializing, used, weigh

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m terrified of escalators, so I’m taking steps to avoid them.

0

2 months ago

avoid, avoidance, escalator, fear, humor, joke, phobia, steps, taking, terrified
Unfortunately, I don’t give ugly men a chance, because they wouldn’t give me one if I were the ugly one.

0

2 months ago

chance, dating, fairness, give, humor, i, irony, man, me, men, ugly, ugly man, ugly woman, unfortunately, woman
Pregnancy is crazy. You really come home with someone you don’t know, with no teeth.

0

2 months ago

baby, crazy, home, humor, know, parenting, pregnancy, someone, surprise, teeth
Whole crypto scheme is built on people too dumb for crypto that aren’t self-aware enough to realize it.

0

4 days ago

built, crypto, dumb, enough, finance, humor, investment, irony, people, realize, scheme, self-awareness, stupidity, too, whole
A weekend in a log cabin with a hot tub sounds perfect right now.

0

3 days ago

activity, cabin, getaway, hot, hot tub, leisure, log, log cabin, outdoor, outdoor activity, perfect, relaxation, right, sounds, tub, vacation, weekend
That awkward moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to bounce off 3 walls, knock over a lamp, and land on the floor.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, bed, bounce, clumsy, floor, humor, knock, lamp, mishap, moment, phone, technology, throw, walls

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on Reddit this month:

I hope this email finds you in the paradise city where the grass is green and the girls are pretty.

47 shares on Telegram this month:

I heard a mouse yesterday. So now I loudly announce myself whenever I enter a dark room. In case you’re wondering how brave I am.

86 shares on Pinterest this month:

Welcome to your late 40s! From now on you will no longer be in “good health” but in “good health for your age”.

94 shares on Facebook this month:

In America we have marijuana. In France they have oui’d.

33 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My husband refused to get glasses. But that was before he brushed his teeth with fake tan.

80 shares on Slack this month:

Threatening my wife with a tariff every time she makes fun of me.

32 shares on Slack this month:

Do we barbecue with women or without salad?

98 shares on X this month:

My husband loves it when he orders fries, I say I don’t want any, and then I swoop in on his like a seagull at the beach.

85 shares on X this month:

The real hack is pouring all that lover girl energy into yourself.

31 shares on Discord this month:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here plucking chin hairs.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

I will not hesitate to use dark magic on you.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

The key to a healthy relationship is taking turns being the sad one.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

I am brilliantly social for one and a half hours, and then I need to recover in my bedroom cave for two days.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

My phone is like my lover, it’s the last thing I see at night, and the first thing I wake up to every morning.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

You can tell it’s laundry day because I’m wearing flippers and a Viking helmet.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

I’m so grateful when people tell me to drive safe, cause then I remember not to drive off that cliff.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Good morning everyone, who feels like working today? I promise I’ll let you do my job.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

God bless the student essay that is so confused and rambling, there is zero chance that they used AI.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Everyone’s a gangster until they turn a spoon the wrong way under running water.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Can hardly wait until my winter fat turns into spring rolls.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

Welcome to downtown where the crosswalk signals are merely suggestions and you hope the puddles are water.

Just shared via Threads:

I’ve realized there’s more to life than social media, so I guess this is goodbye for the next 12 minutes.

Going viral on Facebook:

I did a little research on why weekends are only two days long and it turns out people made that up. WTF, people?

Spotted on Messenger:

I wonder how long you could drive in a roundabout before a cop would be like, hey, you can’t do that anymore.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Do you also watch porn until the end to see if they end up getting married?

Just shared via Twitch:

This alien invasion could have been an email.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

If it’s one thing we’ve learned hiking, it’s the early bird that gets the face full of spiderwebs.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

If anyone wants to watch the Super Bowl on a large 8k TV, come on over to my place (and bring a large 8k TV).

Just landed via TikTok:

This is an awful time to be an educated person.

Making waves on Reddit:

My mental health walks make my mental health worse because I live in a shithole.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I used to love going out with people. Now I weigh the pros and cons of human interaction, like it’s a business decision.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’m terrified of escalators, so I’m taking steps to avoid them.

Unfortunately, I don’t give ugly men a chance, because they wouldn’t give me one if I were the ugly one.

Pregnancy is crazy. You really come home with someone you don’t know, with no teeth.

Whole crypto scheme is built on people too dumb for crypto that aren’t self-aware enough to realize it.

A weekend in a log cabin with a hot tub sounds perfect right now.

That awkward moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to bounce off 3 walls, knock over a lamp, and land on the floor.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨