Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

The sexual tension between me and the person I’m not supposed to have any sexual tension with.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

I admire how, when babies don’t want to hold something anymore, they just drop it.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Going to look at the small picture for a while. Tired of seeing the big picture. Too much picture.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

I’m so single, I have no one to drunk text.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Beds are always the coziest when it’s time to get up and you don’t want to.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Does anyone else run a used match under water before disposing of it because you’re afraid it still has some fire left in it, or are you normal?

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Drinking a beer alone with terrible posture.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

A political guy who supports communism because he hates applying for jobs and just wants to be assigned somewhere.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Don’t break someone’s heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206 of them.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Being single is so crazy. What do you mean there’s No One?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,386

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Discord:

The world is my oyster and I’m allergic to shellfish.

Broadcasted on X:

I’m so old, I used to cry as a child because I fell off my skateboard or bike, not because I didn’t have wifi.

Trending via Telegram:

What many call beauty can just be wiped off 90% of the time.

Spotted on Discord:

One day we will tell our grandkids how far we had to scroll to get to the recipe.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Sitting next to you on an empty train and clicking my stopwatch every time you turn a page in your book.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I wonder how my close personal beloved friend Taylor Swift is doing today.

Just shared via Messenger:

White, black, yellow, brown, Democrat, Republican, man, woman, straight, gay, transgender, Jew, Christian, Muslim, young and old — you will all taste the same to the zombies.

Just landed via WeChat:

My brain has too many tabs open and one of them is playing music I can’t find.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Let’s ruin each other’s sleep schedules and call it romance.

Making waves on Discord:

I need you to put the fun in refund!

I will always be hotter than everyone who hates me.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs a thermostat when you have haters to let you know you're on fire? 🔥😄 #HotterThanHaters #BurninUp"

always, attitude, confidence, everyone, hate, hotter, humor, i, me, self-love

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sometimes I glance over at my boyfriend, and he’s just looking at Google Maps, scrolling around.

0

2 days ago

around, boyfriend, distraction, funny observation, glance, Google, Google Maps, humor, i, just, looking, maps, navigation, observation, over, relationship, relationship humor, scrolling, sometimes
Screw you guys, I’m gonna go make friends with the crows.

0

2 months ago

crow, crows, friend, friends, frustration, guys, humor, interaction, sarcasm, screw, social, social interaction
Welcome to your 40’s: See that kid dressed up like a cop? He is a cop.

0

2 months ago

40s, adulthood, changes, cop, dressed, funny observation, humor, kid, life, life changes, observation, welcome
Runners who smoke need to pick a side.

0

2 months ago

contradiction, fitness, humor, need, pick, runner, side, smoke, smoking
UK rappers be like “I’ve got a posh flat and my bird is very comely, I own more motors than the marchioness of cholmondeley”

0

2 months ago

bird, British, Cholmondeley, comely, flat, humor, i, lifestyle, marchioness, motors, own, posh, rappers, UK
Why would a needle be in a haystack, anyway?

0

1 month ago

confusion, haystack, humor, irony, needle, question, why

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on Telegram this month:

Welcome to your senior years, where you get mad when they rearrange the grocery store.

18 shares on Discord this month:

Driving is great because it combines my love of sitting with my love of being mad.

76 shares on Pinterest this month:

They should go crazier with lab-grown meat. Invent some new animals or something. Mammoth burger.

74 shares on X this month:

There’s literally no law that says you can’t put your friends down as your references and pretend they were your boss at an old job. Literally, there’s no law that says that.

94 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Shall I cook, clean, or do the grocery shopping? Okay, reading it is.

84 shares on YouTube this month:

Elevators frighten me. I take steps to avoid them.

81 shares on Facebook this month:

Controlling your anger at work is a job in itself.

14 shares on Slack this month:

I’m tired of pretending talking about the weather isn’t fun.

70 shares on Facebook this month:

Probably the worst thing about pyramid schemes is how they make you advertise to all your friends and family that you are part of a pyramid scheme.

75 shares on Threads this month:

Britney Spears working at an ice-cream shop called ‘Scoops, I did it again.’

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

I’m here by unpopular demand.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Always keep a bottle of wine in the fridge for special occasions. Like Wednesday.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

I don’t even know what the Transformers are fighting about, to be honest.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

You’ll be watching a series, and they’ll just randomly start playing the best song you’ve ever heard in your life.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

When I’m president, everyone who listens to techno, house or rap will be allowed to drive a little faster than others.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

I hope your day is as nice as my ass.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Telling everyone I’m an undecided voter because I need the attention.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

I’ve skipped midlife crisis and gone straight to birdwatching.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

I’m writing a book of obitchuaries for all the people who are dead to me.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

All strapless bras need to be taken off the shelves. A total recall. We do not have the technology yet.

Shared recently on Threads:

If you see me out in public but we haven’t talked since high school, let’s keep it that way.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Damn, didn’t win the lottery. It’s messing up my budget plan.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Hot wings have killed many people starting with a dude named Icarus.

Spotted on Telegram:

I got confused by all the yard signs, and I think I may have voted for a realtor.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I’m old enough to remember when regular websites were usable.

Shared recently on WeChat:

My doctor told me to try a milk bath. Adding the Cinnamon Toast Crunch was my idea.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

At this point of my celibacy, I can see the same colors as mantis shrimp. What do you know about blorange and gurple?

Breaking via Slack:

I’m seriously considering adoption. Who wants me?

Breaking via Facebook:

Men want to meet up too easily. What if I plan to sacrifice you?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I will always be hotter than everyone who hates me.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Sometimes I glance over at my boyfriend, and he’s just looking at Google Maps, scrolling around.

Screw you guys, I’m gonna go make friends with the crows.

Welcome to your 40’s: See that kid dressed up like a cop? He is a cop.

Runners who smoke need to pick a side.

UK rappers be like “I’ve got a posh flat and my bird is very comely, I own more motors than the marchioness of cholmondeley”

Why would a needle be in a haystack, anyway?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨