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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need a new identity and a passport.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Interviewer: “What did you learn from your previous job?” Me: “That I need a new job.”

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Gravestone inscription: “Hey guys, I’m going to be taking a little break from social media”

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Having a peanut allergy has to be so wild. Like, imagine you’re at a baseball game and there are people chucking bags of rattlesnakes past your head.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

I love to sleep, I wish I could get paid to sleep.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Not my circus, but I’ve grown quite fond of its monkeys.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Wednesday is the part of the novel where the heroine stares out the window and questions everything.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Adult friendships are difficult. The people I get on best with never want to leave the house either.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Uber Eats “you forgot to finish your order” notification is funny because I didn’t forget, I just came to my senses.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

We interrupt coverage of one horrible story for breaking news of another horrible story.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

4,013

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I hate when I turn off my brights for an incoming vehicle and then realize it’s a Cybertruck.

Going viral on Snapchat:

The biggest problem with working from home? I want to go home even though I’m already at home.

Just shared via WeChat:

Whenever I see an athlete eating quark, I get sad, because the quark could have been turned into cheesecake.

Trending via YouTube:

My dream car is a taco truck.

Just shared via TikTok:

Nobody gives me butterflies anymore. Y’all just give me brain damage.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Plot twist: the universe is waiting for you to give it a sign.

Just shared via X:

I speak for everyone when I say that finding the balance between watching movies, watching TV shows, and playing video games is harder than any job.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I’m so old I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign, and we played tic-tac-toe on top of it.

Trending via Discord:

I’m delusional but self-aware, I call that Delaware.

Just shared via Slack:

Being silly is very important for my mental health.

I would do absolutely anything to get 8 hours of sleep, except for going to bed 8 hours before I need to wake up.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
That feeling when your sleep schedule thinks it's immune to logic 🤪🛌💤

8, absolutely, anything, bed, bedtime, before, except, exhaustion, going, hours, humor, i, irony, joke, need, procrastination, sleep, tiredness, wake

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Straighten your back and drink some water, you dehydrated banana.

1 month ago

advice, back, banana, drink, funny advice, humor, hydration, self-care, water
I love sleeping so much that it is the first thing I think about when I wake up.

2 months ago

dreams, humor, i, love, relaxation, sleep, sleeping, thing, think, thoughts, wake, waking, waking up
I feel like you’re allowed to start your day at 4 p.m. if you are pure of heart.

5 months ago

4, allowed, day, feel, heart, humor, i, late, late start, purity, start, start time, time
What must a pancake think when it’s being flipped? Doubtless something jolly.

1 month ago

being, cooking, flip, food, humor, jolly, lighthearted, pancake, perspective, something, think
Everyone has that one friend they’ve known for years and still have no idea what they actually do for a living, but it’s too late to ask.

1 month ago

actually, ask, career, curiosity, everyone, friend, humor, idea, late, living, long-term, mystery, relationship, social, still, too
I’ve noticed that when young people now talk about “old people”, they mean me.

2 months ago

age, gap, generational, generational gap, humor, me, mean, noticed, old, old people, people, perception, self-reflection, talk, young, young people

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on X this month:

Kinda in the mood to let my feelings impair my judgement.

75 shares on Telegram this month:

Let’s build a fort with blankets and pillows, and just stay in it all day.

15 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m actually really good looking if you don’t look at me.

89 shares on YouTube this month:

Being a little older, I am very fortunate to have someone call and check on me every day. He’s from India, and he’s very concerned about my car warranty.

48 shares on Pinterest this month:

Never cry at the weekend. Cry at work, at least then you’ll get paid for it.

51 shares on Discord this month:

If she wants the moon, you get her the moon.

58 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Kind of rude you didn’t wake me up before you went went.

60 shares on X this month:

You know you’ve mastered marriage when you shout to your husband, “Take the thing off the thing,” and he immediately knows what to do.

14 shares on WeChat this month:

With great power comes a huge electric bill.

71 shares on YouTube this month:

Men who tell their woman she’s pretty, for no particular reason, keep that shit up.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

When the client says: “make it pop”, I have to ask myself whether he means my mind or the project.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

I heard you like bad boys. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Happy return of “yes of course it’s bedtime, see how dark it is outside” to all parents who celebrate.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Water bottle leaking in your bag is a top 10 worst experience.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

I am a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Therapy is basically me saying, “I did a thing,” and my therapist saying, “Yay, good job!”

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Do people who love escape rooms not know about IKEA?

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Threatening my wife with a tariff every time she makes fun of me.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

I am under no obligation to make sense to you.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

No one is more surprised than my kids every night when I say it’s bed time.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

The worst part about re-watching Home Alone is you just know Kevin’s parents bought this house for like $250K.

Live now on Slack:

My five-year plan is to just see what happens.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I’m always sad when my sandwich is over.

Making waves on Threads:

I don’t like violence, but I don’t mind if I get hit by luck.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Waiting for toast to toast takes forever unless you walk away for 10 seconds, then it burns.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Hell hath no fury like a toddler getting his nose wiped.

Trending via Discord:

Coffee just tastes better when you are the only one awake in the morning.

Spotted on Telegram:

If I had known how much care balcony plants need, I could have stopped taking the pill.

Just shared via X:

We are all just prisoners here of our phone device.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Told my girlfriend that Mum is deaf, so speak loud and slow. Also told Mum that my girlfriend has special needs.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I would do absolutely anything to get 8 hours of sleep, except for going to bed 8 hours before I need to wake up.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Straighten your back and drink some water, you dehydrated banana.

I love sleeping so much that it is the first thing I think about when I wake up.

I feel like you’re allowed to start your day at 4 p.m. if you are pure of heart.

What must a pancake think when it’s being flipped? Doubtless something jolly.

Everyone has that one friend they’ve known for years and still have no idea what they actually do for a living, but it’s too late to ask.

I’ve noticed that when young people now talk about “old people”, they mean me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨