Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

I’ve done literally nothing all day, except feel guilty about doing nothing all day.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

In the autumn there are two types of creatures who collect acorns: squirrels and toddlers.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

My soul leaving my body when the lecturer says “let’s hear from someone who hasn’t spoken yet”

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

With me, it isn’t Netflix & chill. It’s Prime & panic.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

The marriage rate has been trending downward. Choreographed wedding dances may be the reason.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

“I can’t possibly lose this if I put it here” I say to myself before completely forgetting where here is.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Career? Never heard of her. I’m majoring in sunshine and snacks.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

99% of celebrating your birthday as an adult just consists of texting back “thanks so much”.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Toothpaste sure knows how to ruin whatever you’re drinking.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

“Who does she think she is?” Well, it appears she is someone living her life unconcerned with who you think she is.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,292

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

I just hit the back arrow on a website, and it took me to a page that said, “Before you leave.” No. I already made the decision.

Shared recently on WeChat:

You’re supposed to store a treasure in your cleavage that’s why it’s called a chest.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Santa Claus isn’t real. Ain’t no man checking a list twice.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a neurosurgeon in the middle of brain surgery.

Just shared via Threads:

How can you not appreciate a drunk text? Someone is absolutely off their face and still thinking of you.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Quickie so fast, it’s called secs.

Making waves on TikTok:

My favorite kind of gender reveal is the one where the parents find out, and they just tell everyone through text instead of making me go to a party.

Going bananas on Reddit:

You miss 100% of the gossip from the phone calls you don’t answer.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Thought getting captured by cannibals would be terrifying, but they’re actually feeding me really well.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

My curse was lifted. Do you want to hang out?

If she reads Bukowski, she’s not looking for love. She’s looking for someone who will ruin her creatively.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like she’s on a mission to find Mr. Right… or maybe Mr. Wrong-For-All-The-Right-Reasons! 😜📚🎨

artistic, artistic ruin, Bukowski, creativity, dating, humor, literature, looking, love, relationship, ruin, someone

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Ah coffee. The sweet balm by which we shall accomplish today’s tasks.

0

2 months ago

accomplishment, balm, coffee, humor, morning, morning routine, motivation, routine, sweet, task
Nothing hits harder than opening the fridge for the fifth time, hoping new food magically appeared.

0

2 months ago

disappointment, fifth, food, fridge, harder, hope, hoping, humor, hunger, kitchen, magic, new, nothing, opening, snack, time
Be careful when you follow the masses sometimes the M is silent.

0

2 months ago

careful, follow, humor, irony, masses, silent
How did they call Deadpool’s dog ‘Dogpool’ when ‘Deadpoodle’ was right there?

0

2 months ago

call, comic, Deadpoodle, Deadpool, dog, Dogpool, humor, joke, pun, right
And is the financial stability in the room with us right now?

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward situation, conversation, financial, financial stability, humor, joke, money, right, room, situation, stability, us
Pretty annoying when someone unfollows me before I can conduct their exit interview.

0

2 months ago

annoyance, annoying, before, conduct, digital, digital interaction, exit, exit interview, humor, i, interaction, interview, me, media, online, online humor, pretty, social, social media, someone, unfollow

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t get how alcohol turns y’all evil. I just start giggling and get slutty.

59 shares on Twitch this month:

The thing I’ve always found tricky about money is knowing how much I should have.

26 shares on Reddit this month:

Foreplay is great, I particularly like the part where I peel them, chop them into pieces, then roast them in the oven until they’re all crispy and delicious.

10 shares on Facebook this month:

When I eat rotisserie chicken, I like to pretend that I’m performing an autopsy.

38 shares on Facebook this month:

I always fear that one day I will enter my house and find a thief, knocked out unconscious by the things fallen on his head from some closet.

33 shares on Twitch this month:

Nobody gets angrier than a man being accused of something he actually did.

46 shares on Facebook this month:

I can’t be the only person who thinks the presidential debate should be performed as a rap battle.

74 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Driving to work, and I just reached down to touch my leg to make sure I have pants on.

10 shares on Messenger this month:

Is anyone else really scared for how stupid and illiterate the next generations are gonna be?

29 shares on Slack this month:

“You never text back.” No, I be reading texts from the notification bar, then forget to text back.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

And are the people who find you “hilarious” in the room with us now?

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

You know it’s a fancy restaurant when you have to point at what you want on the menu because you can’t pronounce the name.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

The feminine urge to act clueless while knowing everything.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

“Those tattoos will make it harder to get a job!” Okay, well so will my personality.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Just asked this girl Hannah how she spells her name, and she just said, “Two of everything, darling.” Iconic!

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

First date idea: we search for each other’s criminal history together.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Making food: 1 hour. Eating food: 20 seconds. Washing dishes: never ending.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

If you fall asleep long enough, the steering wheel gives you a pillow.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

I would do absolutely anything to get 8 hours of sleep, except for going to bed 8 hours before I need to wake up.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Why are these idiots only giving robots two arms?

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

Shout out to the dude who flipped me off in traffic. Making me feel all nostalgic for California, thank you.

Spotted on WeChat:

On a dare, my son sprayed deodorant in his mouth. Now he speaks with an Axe scent.

Trending via Facebook:

Pouring an ice-cold glass of anxiety.

Just shared via Messenger:

Looking over both shoulders before googling “Chinese burger.”

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Googled my symptoms and it turns out it’s just the politics.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Being awake is the worst.

Freshly posted on Slack:

People always tell me I’d be “late to my own funeral” like it’s a bad thing. They’d be lucky if I even showed up to that depressing shit.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

When you first meet a man, that fake version of him be so fire.

Trending via YouTube:

I don’t need to touch grass, I need to touch one million dollars cash.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

My children are very helpful. For example, when I ask them to do something, they suggest a different child that could do it instead.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If she reads Bukowski, she’s not looking for love. She’s looking for someone who will ruin her creatively.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Ah coffee. The sweet balm by which we shall accomplish today’s tasks.

Nothing hits harder than opening the fridge for the fifth time, hoping new food magically appeared.

Be careful when you follow the masses sometimes the M is silent.

How did they call Deadpool’s dog ‘Dogpool’ when ‘Deadpoodle’ was right there?

And is the financial stability in the room with us right now?

Pretty annoying when someone unfollows me before I can conduct their exit interview.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨