Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

My dad thought Siri would be more helpful finding a lemon ricotta recipe if he used an Italian accent.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

“You handled it so well.” Nah, I didn’t. I lost my spark, felt crazy, distanced myself from everyone, and hated myself.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

I get unreasonably happy when a YouTube video has subtitles that aren’t auto-generated.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

I’m bringing back “hold your horses” and nobody can stop me.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

While you were rotting and wasting your life away, I was doing the exact same thing.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Imagine falling in love with me then finding out I’m a slow walker.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Hello! I’m Britain’s greatest spy and my catchphrase is: I tell you my real surname, then my real forename, then my real surname again, in case you missed it.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Cheating on an exam by memorizing all the content beforehand so I can easily answer the questions.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

How do I get my glasses prescription placed in my windshield?

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

As a simulation, this all kinda sucks.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,591

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

I was googling the best time to visit Italy. It is when you have money.

Trending via TikTok:

Daily reminder that you’re biologically programmed to get laid, eat good food, connect with other humans, and enjoy yourself. Everything else is literally made up.

Making waves on Threads:

Breaking News: Local woman stuns in new unnecessary online purchase.

Making waves on Twitch:

Of course the laundry has to be done, but the wine doesn’t drink itself either.

Breaking via X:

Goodbye, August, don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

Making waves on Messenger:

I’m at that point in my life where if a car hit me, I’d probably say thank you to the kind stranger.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Went to an antique show and people started bidding on me.

Shared recently on X:

If you think you’re going to be in a dangerous situation, dress accordingly. Don’t wear flip-flops to a bank robbery, for example.

Just landed via Threads:

I thought I needed a drink. Turns out what I really needed was a divorce.

Breaking via Threads:

I’ve been having a rough day for about 5 years now.

If you’re reading this, drink some water. You’re not a cactus.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Water break time! Unless you're secretly a cactus 🌵💦

cactus, drink, drink water, health, hydration, reading, reminder, water

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I have had songs stuck in my head and I have had people stuck in my head, I highly recommend songs.

0

2 months ago

head, humor, i, music, people, recommend, songs, stuck
Due to personal reasons, I will be screaming into a pillow.

0

2 months ago

coping, coping mechanism, humor, i, mechanism, personal, personal reasons, pillow, reasons, relief, screaming, stress, stress relief
Downloading the Titanic soundtrack. It’s syncing right now.

0

2 months ago

activity, downloading, fun, fun activity, humor, irony, music, right, soundtrack, syncing, technology, Titanic
Crazy how every smart person recommends going for walks.

0

2 months ago

crazy, every, exercise, going, health, health tip, humor, person, recommendation, smart, smart person, tip, walk, walks
My favorite game is to guess if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor position, or a brain tumor.

0

2 months ago

brain, brain tumor, dehydration, due, favorite, game, guess, headache, health, health humor, humor, joke, lack, lack of sleep, malnutrition, medical, medical joke, migraine, poor, poor position, position, sleep, stress, tumor
My bed wasn’t feeling well this morning, so I had to stay home to take care of it.

0

2 months ago

bed, care, feeling, home, humor, i, morning, stay, stay home, take, take care, well

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on Snapchat this month:

Maybe in another universe, I punched him in the face instead of staying quiet.

34 shares on Reddit this month:

I miss when we didn’t know what celebrities thought about anything.

39 shares on YouTube this month:

People often mistake me for an adult because of my age.

30 shares on Twitch this month:

He called me delusional, but I think he meant delicious.

11 shares on Facebook this month:

I touched grass today, and I’m still like this. Please advise.

74 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Plants are like “I’ll have a light lunch.”

58 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I feel like smashing my phone would be cathartic.

31 shares on TikTok this month:

Amazing how fast my addiction to my phone is cured the moment I get a phone call.

85 shares on Reddit this month:

I set up my Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, Mary, Joseph and all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

90 shares on Telegram this month:

Sometimes I just want a man to talk to me in the same voice he uses to talk to his dog.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

My husband is trying to convince me that we’re in a situationship. “The situation is that we live in the same house and love each other.”

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

I did 30 minutes of chores, time for a 7-hour break.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

I’m dying for some sweets and the only thing sweet in the house is me.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

I survived a Monday, and for what? Tuesday? Disgusting.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

It’s hard to believe that this long, crazy election will finally be over in a few months.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Every day I tell myself, “You got this,” and every day, “this” gets weirder.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Only difference between me and someone in a psych ward is I’m outside.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean that it ain’t gonna be a hell of a lot of fun.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

My body snaps, crackles, and pops louder than my cereal.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Sunday is my favorite day where I pretend I’m going to do something productive.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the first twelve digits of pi.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Once you start paying rent, every joke stops being funny.

Spotted on Threads:

I love when the restaurant bathroom has different music playing than the restaurant. It’s like I’m going to Club Pee Pee.

Just shared via Twitch:

Stretching isn’t enough. I need to be able to disassemble my body like Legos.

Going viral on Facebook:

“Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.” Yeah, because I won’t be leaving my bed.

Making waves on Pinterest:

You can be anything when you grow up. For instance, I am very tired.

Just shared via Messenger:

Think about how many more lovers you’d have if a cross country high-speed rail existed. That’s what they are taking away from you.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Another day waiting, and wishing, and wanting.

Going viral on TikTok:

When my nudes go to the cloud, I always hope God is impressed.

Just landed via Twitch:

Men are like dogs. They’re actually cute, but having my own would be too much work for me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If you’re reading this, drink some water. You’re not a cactus.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I have had songs stuck in my head and I have had people stuck in my head, I highly recommend songs.

Due to personal reasons, I will be screaming into a pillow.

Downloading the Titanic soundtrack. It’s syncing right now.

Crazy how every smart person recommends going for walks.

My favorite game is to guess if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor position, or a brain tumor.

My bed wasn’t feeling well this morning, so I had to stay home to take care of it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨