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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Oh, that gap on my resume is from when I was the architect of my own hell.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

The secret to a good marriage is that it’s all about give and take. Giving each other frequent back rubs and ordering lots of takeout.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

“I’ll worry about it next time.” Me pissing off future me.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

One thing no one mentions about being an adult is how much time you debate with yourself over keeping a cardboard box because it’s a really good box.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

My sister: snowboards. My brother: skateboards. Me: charcuterie boards.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

People tell me to just be myself like that would be a good thing.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

When you’re late for work, you gotta walk in fast and act like you’re mad.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Can I come over and overstay my welcome?

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

True friends don’t judge each other, they judge other people… together.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Due to personal reasons, I won’t be dropping it like it’s hot anymore.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,425

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on YouTube:

If you voted for someone because “he’s not a politician”, then I hope your next colonoscopy is done by a plumber.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Going to work has backfired on me so many times.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Being single: When you don’t have to wait for someone to watch the next Netflix episode.

Breaking via Messenger:

They should list at least one alien “as himself” in the Star Wars credits.

Freshly posted on Threads:

It’s now socially acceptable again to clap when the plane lands.

Breaking via Slack:

I can easily spot a wolf in sheep’s clothing but this guy was dressed like my grandmother which threw me off.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Whenever I’m willing to sell my soul, there’s usually food involved.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

In my defense, I was left alone unsupervised.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Your opinions are not my business.

Spotted on Threads:

When I was young, I couldn’t wait to be older. Well, I wasn’t expecting this shit!

I’m already ready to clock out from work tomorrow.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Already mentally clocked out and it's not even tomorrow yet 😅⏰💤

clock, clock out, ready, tomorrow, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Thanksgiving and Christmas should be six months apart. Absurd to see those people again so soon. Insane.

0

4 weeks ago

absurd, again, apart, Christmas, family, holiday, holiday season, humor, insane, months, people, reunion, season, should, six, socializing, soon, Thanksgiving, timing
I admire how time manages to quickly heal wounds but takes forever to remove awkward tan lines.

0

5 months ago

admire, awkward, awkward tan line, forever, heal, healing, humor, i, line, lines, patience, skin, summer, tan, tan line, time, wound, wounds
Saw someone from high school. She said she hadn’t seen me in years. That’s likely because I’d always seen her first.

0

2 months ago

always, avoidance, high, high school, humor, ID, me, nostalgia, reunion, saw, school, seen, someone, year’s
If you wish me a happy Thanksgiving, don’t be surprised if I whip out a ziplock bag and ask you to bring me home some leftovers.

0

2 months ago

bag, bring, food, happy, holiday, home, humor, leftover, me, request, Thanksgiving, wish, ziplock, ziplock bag
I only like when it rains when I’m home.

0

2 months ago

comfort, home, humor, i, only, preference, rain, weather
I personally get offended when rain is referred to as “bad weather.”

0

5 months ago

bad, bad weather, humor, i, nature, offended, rain, weather

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on WhatsApp this month:

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at social gatherings.

71 shares on Messenger this month:

I sometimes have the desire to meet certain people again for the first time. Only to simply walk past them.

86 shares on LinkedIn this month:

He just walked right into my heart and switched on the lights.

69 shares on Pinterest this month:

I keep pressing the space bar, but I’m still on Earth.

33 shares on Snapchat this month:

Santa doesn’t check the naughty list anymore, he just checks social media.

82 shares on Discord this month:

I have a yearning disability.

65 shares on Telegram this month:

Glasses don’t make you look smart, everyone knows you had to fail a test to get them.

82 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t want your hoodie, I want your still-beating heart presented to me in a box.

80 shares on X this month:

75% of being a divorce lawyer is just answering emails from clients saying, “No. No. No. You absolutely cannot do that, no.”

92 shares on Snapchat this month:

Why is sugar SO addictive, and broccoli is just like, “I’ll be here when you need me”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Arkansas is just Kansas for pirates.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

I’m not saying Lois Lane is a bad investigative journalist, but my friend Greg didn’t wear glasses to work yesterday and I recognized him by lunch time.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Sports are better when you have hate in your heart.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

You’re never alone. There’s mold.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

You’re always bitching about your alarm clock, but put yourself in his shoes. The first thing he sees in the morning is your face.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

You’re in her DMs. I’m accidentally reposting reels of Tibetan foxes because I don’t know how to use the app anymore.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

He thinks I’m so smart because I read books. Baby, they is FAWKING in these books.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

There’s a disgusting pervert at the bar watching pornography over my shoulder.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

I never had kids because little kids see too many ghosts and that’s something I’d rather not know about.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

You don’t need to be a good listener as long as you’re a good nodder.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

No one ever talks about the 6th love language (being annoying).

Going bananas on Slack:

There’s nothing worse than being in public and you touch something that shouldn’t be sticky and it is.

Just landed via Discord:

My AI-generated girlfriend is hotter than your real girlfriend.

Breaking via Instagram:

Before social media, you had to actively go out and find crazy people.

Just shared via Reddit:

One does not simply become a master of karate. First, you must accidentally walk into a spider web.

Spotted on Telegram:

The clitoris has 8,000 nerves, if you gonna get on my nerves, get on one of those.

Just landed via Messenger:

Can’t wait for this AI bubble to pop so we can all go back to normal, just like how the internet completely disappeared after the dot-com bubble popped.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Absent father sucks, but have you met the final boss, the father who is actually in your life every day but emotionally unavailable, lol.

Going viral on Facebook:

“You’re so quick to cut someone off!” God forbid a girl actually has self-respect.

Making waves on TikTok:

I was about to organise my closet, but I then I found what I was looking for.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m already ready to clock out from work tomorrow.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Thanksgiving and Christmas should be six months apart. Absurd to see those people again so soon. Insane.

I admire how time manages to quickly heal wounds but takes forever to remove awkward tan lines.

Saw someone from high school. She said she hadn’t seen me in years. That’s likely because I’d always seen her first.

If you wish me a happy Thanksgiving, don’t be surprised if I whip out a ziplock bag and ask you to bring me home some leftovers.

I only like when it rains when I’m home.

I personally get offended when rain is referred to as “bad weather.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨