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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

How did the person who invented the spelling of “banana” decide when to stop?

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

“This too shall pass.” And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never f**king ends.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

In filling out an application, where it says, “In case of emergency notify”, I put “Doctor.”

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

There’s something about Dracula I just don’t trust.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

“Your password is too weak!” Just wait until you see my impulse control.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

Shout out to Yamaha for being like, “Here’s a cool motorcycle. Also, here’s a cool piano.”

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

I found out my wife was cheating on me at a Red Hot Chili Peppers concert, and I don’t ever wanna feel like I did that day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,922

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

Convinced my kid her harmonica didn’t work because the instructions were missing.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I feel like Mario has more raw prowess, but Luigi is probably the more sensual lover.

Spotted on YouTube:

I’m here by unpopular demand.

Making waves on Discord:

If you say “awesome sauce” on a first date, you’ll still have that lucky condom in your wallet tomorrow.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

If you haven’t tried blindfold archery, you should give it a go. You don’t know what you’re missing.

Spotted on Reddit:

Before I had kids I was only vaguely aware that Saturday had a 7am.

Trending via Twitch:

I tried counting sheep so I can fall asleep but that got boring, so I started talking to the shepherd instead.

I’m at the stage in life where I stay out of arguments. Even if you say 1+1=5, you’re right. Have fun.

3 months ago

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Commentary:
Math might not add up, but that's one less headache for me! 🤔🤷‍♂️🧠

acceptance, age, argument, arguments, even, fun, humor, i, life, math, patience, right, say, stage, stay, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I haven’t broken a mirror lately, but my water broke and I’ve had seven years of kids crawling into my bed.

1 month ago
bed, broke, broken, chaos, family, humor, i, kids, mirror, motherhood, parenting, sleep, water
“Stop overthinking.” Oh, wow. Hadn’t considered that. Solved.

4 weeks ago
advice, humor, irony, mindset, oh, overthinking, problem, problem-solving, sarcasm, solving, stop
Please no requests for a threesome. If I want to disappoint two people at the same time, I’ll visit my parents.

1 month ago
awkward, awkward situations, disappointment, family, humor, i, parents, people, relationships, same, situations, threesome, time, visit, want
Anti-capitalism is just code for “I don’t know how anything works.”

1 month ago
anti-capitalism, anything, code, critique, economics, humor, i, ignorance, just, know, misunderstanding, satire, works
Saturday Night Fever, but it’s just me yelling, “Five, six, seven, eight!” while my cat lies down and refuses to participate.

1 month ago
cat, dance, eight, fever, five, fun, humor, just, me, night, pet, pet refusal, quarantine, quarantine fun, refusal, refuses, Saturday, Saturday Night Fever, six, solo, weekend, while, yelling
I am a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

1 month ago
activity, am, body, desire, humor, i, laziness, motivation, person, procrastination, sleep, struggle, things, trapped

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

The winter months remind me that it is crucial to find someone that you’re thermostatically compatible with.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

A dating app that matches people by the conspiracy theories they are interested in.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Vegetables are actually pretty good when they’re fried.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

Get a puppy if you are in the market for a best friend who gets you up early so she can bite you excitedly.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

It’s time to stare blankly at my wall for hours straight and think about where I went wrong with my life.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Liking a post I don’t understand just to impress the algorithm.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Remember when we had to smack the TV because the channel wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about far too many people.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

When someone is in a Christmas eve panic, I always find that “well, maybe you should have thought of that sooner” is a helpful phrase.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Nothing can break the bond between me and peanut butter.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

One person’s logic is another one’s “what the heck?”

Shared recently on Reddit:

What’s the point of having sex dreams if you always wake up just when it’s getting down to business?

Spotted on Reddit:

The only exercise I’ve done this month is running… out of money!

Seen just now on Threads:

Whoever first said, “It gets to a point,” was definitely at that point, and I feel them deeply.

Just shared via Pinterest:

How do you tell someone that you will probably end up marrying them, but in a casual way?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m at the stage in life where I stay out of arguments. Even if you say 1+1=5, you’re right. Have fun.

I haven’t broken a mirror lately, but my water broke and I’ve had seven years of kids crawling into my bed.

“Stop overthinking.” Oh, wow. Hadn’t considered that. Solved.

Please no requests for a threesome. If I want to disappoint two people at the same time, I’ll visit my parents.

Anti-capitalism is just code for “I don’t know how anything works.”

Saturday Night Fever, but it’s just me yelling, “Five, six, seven, eight!” while my cat lies down and refuses to participate.

I am a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I hope none of the people I vowed to “help hide a body” ever actually need my help.

Being shy is so annoying. Why is my chest hurting me, because I need to speak in public?

Turns out that ending meetings with “have the day you deserve” has made me some enemies at work.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Referring to normal shoes as non-bowling shoes.

Growing up means choosing cozy couch moments over crowded club scenes. Cheers to adulting!

Airport beer at 6 a.m.? No problem. The airport is a lawless place that is free from judgment.

I need to have a ginger ale about this.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I wish people knew how good I can sing when I’m alone in my car and in my shower.

There are advantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it. There are disadvantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it.

Unfortunately, I’m gonna have to cancel my appointment at a sperm bank. I will just call them and say I can’t come.

Yesterday, I went to the grocery store, and I managed to come home without any junk food. Now, I’m mad that we don’t have any junk food.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

No, it’s fine. I watched some cartoons and now I feel a little more at ease with your stupidness.

With a cat on your lap, you deal better with the crap.

It’s that time of year again where I go to random restaurants to tell random women, “So this is why you cancelled our date?”, while they’re out with their significant others.

I would like you to meet my significant other. Her name is Cheese.

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I’m at the stage in life where I stay out of arguments. Even if you say 1+1=5, you’re right. Have fun.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I haven’t broken a mirror lately, but my water broke and I’ve had seven years of kids crawling into my bed.

“Stop overthinking.” Oh, wow. Hadn’t considered that. Solved.

Please no requests for a threesome. If I want to disappoint two people at the same time, I’ll visit my parents.

Anti-capitalism is just code for “I don’t know how anything works.”

Saturday Night Fever, but it’s just me yelling, “Five, six, seven, eight!” while my cat lies down and refuses to participate.

I am a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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