I’m not an alcoholic, I only drink twice a year. When it’s sunny, and when it isn’t.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

What if i just replied “not now kitten daddy’s busy” to all my work emails?

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Today’s youth will never experience the pain of spending all their pocket money on a music album. Because of ONE good song!

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Guy who normally applauds when the plane lands right before the pilot crashes it: “Boo!”

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Foot fetish should just be called feetish.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

My eye doctor is alarmingly young and when he said he thought I had a chalazion or a hordoleum, I thought he might be referencing Pokémon.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Finally figured out why I look so bad in pictures – it’s my face.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

The train announcer just said we should keep our personal belongings with us at all times but I’ve left most of mine at home.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Discovered a new coping mechanism called lashing out and making your loved ones resent you.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

Nothing makes me more stabby than when my husband ignores me and starts talking to the dog.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

I wish more modern politics were about trying to stop the fulfillment of an ancient prophecy.