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Commentary:
"Ah, the classic bedtime routine of overthinking, also known as the 'brain marathon' 🏃‍♂️💭 Who needs sleep when you can analyze every life decision you've ever made at 2 am? 😂 #InsomniaGoals"

anticipation, forward, full, getting, hours, humor, looking, night, overthinking, procrastination, relaxation, sleep

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Forget pheromones, barbecue smells are always attractive.

1 month ago
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I think my dad just eradicated a small village with his sneeze.

1 month ago
dad, exaggeration, family, humor, i, just, small, sneeze, think, village
First date idea: Couples Colonoscopies.

1 month ago
activity, colonoscopy, couples, date, first date, funny idea, health, humor, idea
Cats must think we’re so weird for constantly harvesting their poop.

1 month ago
animal, animal behavior, behavior, cat, cats, funny observation, harvesting, humor, observation, pets, poop, think, weird
I have read that there are imaginary pregnancies. The belly gets bigger and bigger, but there is no baby inside. Finally a diagnosis.

1 month ago
baby, belly, bigger, diagnosis, expectation, humor, i, imaginary, inside, joke, pregnancy, read, surprise
I don’t wanna party like it’s 1999, I want to pay my bills like it’s 1999.

1 month ago
1999, bills, finances, humor, i, nostalgia, party, pay, responsibility, want

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Wife asked if I could stop singing Wonderwall. I said maybe…

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Whoever said, “Laughter is the best medicine,” clearly never tried Revenge.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Has someone told the whales that they can’t sing?

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Was already at my breaking point, and then had to use the authenticator app.

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The History Channel, because where else are you going to learn about how aliens were instrumental in the development of humanity?

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If anything I post makes you mad, just know that it pleases me.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Just because your parents planned you doesn’t mean you weren’t a mistake.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

You can’t be everyone’s cup of tea, let them sip on their own bland brew.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I am so lucky that I can’t tell the difference between a heartfelt compliment and sarcastic disdain. Life is much easier when you’re dumb.

Broadcasted on Slack:

It is only when a mosquito lands on your testicles that you realize there is always a way to solve problems without using violence.

Making waves on Pinterest:

You can’t have everything… where would you put it?”

Trending via Slack:

Why is there a level 6 for toasters? As if someone thinks: “Tonight I’m really in the mood for ashes with butter!”

Going viral on Twitch:

Imagine you get to the gates of heaven and they make you download an app to go in.

Seen just now on Discord:

I can relate to God because it also takes me a full week to finish something that still kind of sucks.

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I’m really looking forward to getting a full 8 hours of overthinking in tonight.

Forget pheromones, barbecue smells are always attractive.

I think my dad just eradicated a small village with his sneeze.

First date idea: Couples Colonoscopies.

Cats must think we’re so weird for constantly harvesting their poop.

I have read that there are imaginary pregnancies. The belly gets bigger and bigger, but there is no baby inside. Finally a diagnosis.

I don’t wanna party like it’s 1999, I want to pay my bills like it’s 1999.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Whoever said “out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear inside their tent.

One day you’re young and fun, and the next you’re saying, “I wonder how old this tree is.”

Instead of making a sound, car alarms that go off at night should blast your name so everyone knows it’s your car.

Got thrown out of the grocery store for holding a rotisserie chicken up like Simba again.

When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Falling off academically is worse than a heartbreak.

If you can’t handle me at my worst, then honestly, you’re missing out because that’s when my jokes and bits get really, really good.

“A healthy lifestyle is all about balance,” I say as I drive through Taco Bell after working out.

Why do you always wanna change your life before you fall asleep, then in the morning you wake up like ‘Nah!’

I be like, “I needed this,” and it’s just me getting drunk.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

You should be allowed to speed if good music is playing.

More foods should have boats, why should gravy have all the fun?

The most valuable breed of cow are the Cash.

I’m fairly certain the person who put the first “r” in February also decided how to spell Wednesday.

To me, essential oils are what drips out of tacos.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Another fine day ruined by waking up.

Sorry for the things I said when the internet was down for 10 minutes.

I’m so hungry, I could eat a full-time job with health insurance.

I’m off to club bed, featuring DJ Pillow and MC Blanky.

Just imagine how great life would be if pizza made you skinny.

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I’m really looking forward to getting a full 8 hours of overthinking in tonight.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Forget pheromones, barbecue smells are always attractive.

I think my dad just eradicated a small village with his sneeze.

First date idea: Couples Colonoscopies.

Cats must think we’re so weird for constantly harvesting their poop.

I have read that there are imaginary pregnancies. The belly gets bigger and bigger, but there is no baby inside. Finally a diagnosis.

I don’t wanna party like it’s 1999, I want to pay my bills like it’s 1999.

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