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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Somebody should market a beer called “Occasionally”. So when asked, I can say, “I only drink occasionally”.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Whoever has designed parking garages is either an architectural genius or an evil sadist.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

Started the year single. Ending the year single. Consistency is key.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Hey, I came over because the grass seemed really green here, but now that I’m looking back that grass actually looks crazy green, so I’m gonna go.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Feeling weird from my cookie-based diet.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Lord of the Rings is a story about a brave little Hobbit on a mission to destroy a ring and save the world, and his annoying friend Frodo.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

A single garbageman contributes more to society before lunch than every crypto trader and op-ed writer combined does in their lifetime.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Haven’t seen a single bikini photoshoot in the snow this year; the girls are tired.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

Men only have money the first month of dating, that’s recruitment budget, never confuse it with operational budget.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

I always wait 3 minutes after each post for the applause to die down.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

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17,766

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15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,744

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

The first person to throw out bath water: Uh oh.

Making waves on Discord:

Dating again after you break up with a long-term partner is like dying in a video game and ending up back at the start to do it all again, except with less health.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Made a lot of mistakes in my life, but adding more cheese than a recipe calls for isn’t one of them.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I think God was high when he made me.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I hope my email finds you enraged.

Live now on Reddit:

Always tell people different stories about yourself, so when they talk about you, they’ll argue.

Just shared via Twitch:

Flirting back when you’re bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Taking a phone to school in primary was like smuggling drugs.

Making waves on YouTube:

Everything’s under control. I just don’t know whose.

Live now on Messenger:

People always ask me “Do you believe in God?” and I say of course it’s important to have self-belief.

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here looking at soup recipes.

1 month ago

Playful quote about ignoring negativity while casually browsing soup recipes.

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Commentary:
Trying to soup-er charge my cooking skills while people out there are stewing over nothing! 🍲😂🍜

cooking, hatred, here, humor, imagination, imagine, indifference, just, looking, me, over, recipe, soup, soup recipe

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Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on Threads this month:

No open job postings for “Warrior Poet” found in your area. Please try another search.

81 shares on Telegram this month:

If I had 50¢ for every math test I’ve failed, I’d have $7.20.

88 shares on LinkedIn this month:

One pretty important part of being a dad is walking faster than the rest of your family through an airport.

33 shares on Reddit this month:

I came, I saw, I took a selfie as proof that I came and saw.

19 shares on X this month:

Hate when I have to be mean. Why would you push a sweet girl this far?

43 shares on LinkedIn this month:

There is too much money in the world for me to be broke.

74 shares on Instagram this month:

Nothing tests your patience like a group chat blowing up your phone.

83 shares on Snapchat this month:

If your problem can’t be fixed by coffee, tequila or sex then I’m out of advice.

97 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you start a sentence with “Let me reiterate…”, I’m gonna ignore it the second time too.

34 shares on TikTok this month:

So we have actual fact checkers who know all the facts? Why not create a TV channel where they just give us the facts? We could call it the News.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Revenge? No. I just post hot selfies and let the algorithm do God’s work.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Yeah, sex is great, but have you ever watched the teams you hate be first-round exits?

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m just trying to have a nice time despite knowing facts and information.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

The only reason I insist on returning to the office is because my cat needs a break from me staring at him all day.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Saying “Who is it?” when the doctor knocks on the exam room door.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Hi, where do you meet someone without dating apps and if you never leave your apartment? I need tips, please. Urgently!

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

I’m here by unpopular demand.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

We need a slur for people who use ChatGPT.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Monsters can’t hide under my bed. That’s where my cats have their fight club.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Santa: “Don’t leave me milk. Leave me whiskey.”

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

If you think I’m annoying, give it some time. You’ll know for sure pretty soon.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I always set two alarms, one for “Good Intentions Me” and one for “The Real Me”

Spotted on WhatsApp:

People drive you insane and then say “see, I told you that you’re insane.”

Just landed via YouTube:

Showers are the best places to lose arguments with yourself.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Good morning, may your coffee be strong and your boss not weird today.

Just landed via Slack:

Some people pack their lives so full of activities, appointments and people that I get exhausted just reading about it.

Freshly posted on Threads:

My cat is so finicky. I finally gave up and taught him how to order Uber Eats for himself.

Trending via Discord:

If you want your teen to finish her homework, tell her to fold the laundry.

Going viral on Pinterest:

The only thing I miss from my past is that flat stomach I had.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

My favorite thing to do at the gym is stay home and eat a piece of cake.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here looking at soup recipes.

Animals are 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

Some days you’re the quick brown fox and other days you’re the lazy dog.

Of course I have critical thinking skills, I’m thinking critically of you right now.

Can we change the phrase “Can I be frank with you” to “Can I be william with you”? I don’t want to be Frank.

Boyfriends sound cool and all, but unfortunately, I enjoy not talking for days at a time.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here looking at soup recipes.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Animals are 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

Some days you’re the quick brown fox and other days you’re the lazy dog.

When the blood pressure machine comes out for one person, the whole family has to get involved.

Of course I have critical thinking skills, I’m thinking critically of you right now.

Can we change the phrase “Can I be frank with you” to “Can I be william with you”? I don’t want to be Frank.

Boyfriends sound cool and all, but unfortunately, I enjoy not talking for days at a time.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨