Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

I predict the next world war will be artificial intelligence versus genuine stupidity.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Women don’t apologize. They sleep naked and let you decide whether you are still angry or not.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

My brain is on airplane mode today.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

The most unrealistic part of cooking shows is when they have enough room in their fridge to fit an entire baking sheet.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Spoiler alert: Eventually you will pay a price for the way you treated people.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

If a door closes, I’m just going to open it again.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Insomnia is embarrassing. How can I be so bad at something that literally involves doing nothing?

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

I am not leaving this house until my hoodie strings are even.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

I don’t wanna meet your family, bring my plate to the car.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Despite removing all the stains, I still lost my job as a church window cleaner.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,281

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Instagram:

Growing your own tomatoes really is the best way to devote 3 months of your life to saving $2.17.

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here looking at soup recipes.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Trying to soup-er charge my cooking skills while people out there are stewing over nothing! 🍲😂🍜

cooking, hatred, here, humor, imagination, imagine, indifference, just, looking, me, over, recipe, soup, soup recipe

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The answer is always no, I did not get enough sleep.

0

2 months ago

always, answer, excuse, exhaustion, humor, i, sleep, tiredness
Buying new glasses this week, so a whole bunch of you are about to get a whole lot uglier.

0

2 months ago

appearance, buying, change, glasses, humor, joke, new, ugly, week, whole
If you relate to me, get some help!

0

2 months ago

advice, help, humor, me, relate
Sometimes I wish I had a speed bump between my brain and my mouth.

0

2 months ago

brain, bump, communication, humor, humor quote, i, impulsiveness, mouth, self-awareness, sometimes, speech, speed, wish, wit
Sorry for not keeping in touch. I literally have nothing to say.

0

2 months ago

apology, communication, honesty, humor, i, nothing, sarcasm, say, silence, social, sorry, touch, witty
I like to listen to the national anthems during the award ceremonies. I’m into country music.

0

2 months ago

anthem, award, award ceremony, ceremony, country, country music, humor, i, listen, music, music preference, national, national anthem, preference

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on Threads this month:

Christmas decor isn’t meant to be sleek and minimalist, it is supposed to look like joy threw up in your house.

73 shares on Telegram this month:

Sometimes I have to turn off the news and put on a true crime documentary, so I can relax.

48 shares on Facebook this month:

This post is highly top-secret. You need to forget that you’ve seen it immediately.

58 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I put my pants on like everyone else. With hope they still fit.

12 shares on Telegram this month:

Being abducted by aliens could be just the vacation I need right now.

51 shares on WeChat this month:

I was sad, but then I ordered some new clothes. I’m okay now.

83 shares on Telegram this month:

Whatever you do today, do it with the confidence of a 4-year old wearing a Batman cape.

57 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t hide from my problems, I just ignore them until they lose interest.

86 shares on Instagram this month:

Outfit repeater. Meal repeater. Movie rewatcher. I know what I like.

68 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Be so funny that everyone forgets that you are ugly!

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m shocked it offended you, I was certain someone was gonna need to explain it to you.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Due to personal reasons, I won’t be dropping it like it’s hot anymore.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

I just turned on my car’s seat warmer to keep my burrito warm in case you wondered what I was up to.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

Somethіng wrong іn your lіfe? There’s a nap for that.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

They should invent a day where it all works out.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Nobody has ever been more surprised than a husband hearing about his wife’s plans for the second time.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

In contrast to the ship, the movie Titanic was quite well received in America.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

The first time I saw a kiwi I thought it’s a potato with fur.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

The worst person you know is in therapy right now, being told they need to put themselves first.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

A frightening number of young people alive today don’t know about Knight Rider.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

First you’re cringe, then you’re the blueprint.

Just landed via YouTube:

The best thing about driving in the snow is staying home.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I’m just a girl standing in front of a cat who followed me to the bathroom.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here looking at soup recipes.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The answer is always no, I did not get enough sleep.

Buying new glasses this week, so a whole bunch of you are about to get a whole lot uglier.

If you relate to me, get some help!

Sometimes I wish I had a speed bump between my brain and my mouth.

Sorry for not keeping in touch. I literally have nothing to say.

I like to listen to the national anthems during the award ceremonies. I’m into country music.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨