Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Me: trying to rest. Earthquake: Let’s make that a no.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

There’s literally no law that says you can’t put your friends down as your references and pretend they were your boss at an old job. Literally, there’s no law that says that.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

My savings account has been empty for so long that a Spirit Halloween just opened up inside it.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Getting tired without doing anything is an art form.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Do you ever think back about all the crazy stuff you did when you were younger, and wonder how you’re still alive?

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

I always need to pee, but it’s just because my heart is so big it pushes on my bladder.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

That awkward moment when everything is going so perfectly… and then you wake up.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

My security system is just a bunch of my unpaid bills taped to my front door.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

You know you’re over 50 when you have “upstairs Ibuprofen” and “downstairs Ibuprofen”.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Don’t go chasing waterfalls? The place where many video games hide easter eggs and other rare items?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,405

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Running from your problems is cardio.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Stop animal testing! Use my ex!

Broadcasted on Slack:

I was gonna kiss you under the blood moon eclipse, but whatever, bro.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Just shared via Reddit:

What if the universe wasn’t infinite or finite, but a secret third thing?

Spotted on Messenger:

“Well, this is no good. How do I turn it off?” – The first primate to experience consciousness.

Just landed via WeChat:

There should be a three-day weekend: one day to do nothing, one day to do something, and one day to do laundry.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I miss when people didn’t talk on speakerphone in public.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

“You’re a cougar!” God forbid a woman gives back to the youth.

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here making love.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Just over here spreading love while dodging haters like a ninja! 💃❤️🕺

hatred, here, humor, imagination, imagine, just, love, making, me, over, relationship

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Some people get a bit strange as they get older. Not me. I’ve always been like that!

0

2 months ago

age, always, bit, growth, humor, individuality, me, older, people, personality, self-awareness, strange
Dating is so overrated. Let’s just get married.

0

2 months ago

commitment, dating, humor, just, marriage, married, overrate, relationship
Proverbs are so mean. Like, I don’t deserve any worm because I woke up at 11am? Like, no worm at all?

0

2 months ago

deserve, expectations, humor, i, mean, morning, proverb, sarcasm, sleep, time, waking, waking up, woke, worm
They should make the last foot of dental floss red so you know when you’re about to run out.

0

2 months ago

care, dental, dental care, dental floss, floss, foot, humor, invention, know, last, last foot, practicality, red, run, run out, should
They should have a section on the wing of the plane where people can go out for a cigarette.

0

2 months ago

airline, cigarette, funny idea, humor, idea, people, plane, section, should, smoking, suggestion, travel, where, wing
Is it a good sign when your therapist keeps saying Ka-Ching?

0

2 months ago

good, health, humor, Ka-Ching, mental, mental health, money, saying, sign, signs, therapist, therapy, wealth

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on Messenger this month:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again because I have a terrible memory.

21 shares on X this month:

The walk of shame, except it’s me at a bowling alley walking back to sit down after I knock down zero pins with bumpers.

68 shares on YouTube this month:

I don’t know which is worse, people stealing your jokes or people not stealing your jokes.

62 shares on Telegram this month:

The angel and devil on my shoulders are both completely fed up with me.

32 shares on Messenger this month:

Always tell people different stories about yourself, so when they talk about you, they’ll argue.

55 shares on YouTube this month:

The “Wooooooooo” track from sitcoms should play whenever you kiss someone in real life.

13 shares on Reddit this month:

I was going to learn to play the violin, but it was too much of a commitment. I wanted something with no strings attached.

49 shares on Threads this month:

There should be a good 10 hours in between waking up and having to interact with people.

77 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m not lazy, I’m an inactivist.

26 shares on LinkedIn this month:

How is this the same brain that used to remember everybody’s phone numbers?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

A little mystery is the sweetest seduction.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

I’m at that age where someone can call me the wrong name and I’m just like “whatever, I’ll be Dan for a minute”.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Them: Good morning! Me: Where?

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

When a girl says “5 mins,” think about it like five minutes left in the 4th quarter, and both teams have all their timeouts.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Thanksgiving should be called Feaster.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

It’s so much easier to suggest solutions when you don’t know too much about the problem.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Dates are weird, like, okay I guess I’ll dress up for my romantic interview.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Carrots are a great thing to eat when you’re hungry, and want to stay that way.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Being old is basically trying to figure out what part of the body the noise is coming from, and why.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Why is everyone’s main goal to get married and have kids? Like, don’t you guys want to do drugs in foreign countries?

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

I could never be an Instagram mom influencer. For starters, I wouldn’t be able to give my kids a name like Banjo or Parmesan or Chandelier.

Spotted on Pinterest:

“Can you multitask?” Yes, actually I am losing my mind and chilling at the same time.

Spotted on Telegram:

You can’t confuse me. I already don’t know what’s going on.

Shared recently on Threads:

Bears and worms have almost nothing in common. But gummy bears and gummy worms? Very similar.

Seen just now on Discord:

I used to love going out with people. Now I weigh the pros and cons of human interaction, like it’s a business decision.

Just shared via Threads:

The baddest women come into your life when you have 37 dollars left.

Freshly posted on Threads:

If pigeons could talk, they would bum a cigarette.

Spotted on Pinterest:

My friend says to me, “What rhymes with orange?” And I told him, “No, it doesn’t.”

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

For the record, I use a turntable.

Going viral on Twitch:

Some people get weird as they get older. Not me, though. I’ve always been weird.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here making love.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Some people get a bit strange as they get older. Not me. I’ve always been like that!

Dating is so overrated. Let’s just get married.

Proverbs are so mean. Like, I don’t deserve any worm because I woke up at 11am? Like, no worm at all?

They should make the last foot of dental floss red so you know when you’re about to run out.

They should have a section on the wing of the plane where people can go out for a cigarette.

Is it a good sign when your therapist keeps saying Ka-Ching?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨