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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

My southern family thinks my daily routine in NYC is that I wake up, try really hard not to get stabbed by a knife, and then I go see a musical.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Dating is the process of meeting someone until you find out what’s wrong with them.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

If you give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day. But if you teach a man to fish, you’ll get the house to yourself on Saturdays.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

People don’t get slapped enough with empty gloves these days.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

On the next episode of Hoarders, they visit my subconscious.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Do you ever think back about all the crazy stuff you did when you were younger, and wonder how you’re still alive?

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Stop checking up on your friends, and check up on me.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

I just came across my wife’s Tinder profile and I’m so angry about her lies. She is not “fun to be around”.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Your favorite little ball of silliness has logged in.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

I always say “morning” instead of “good morning”, because if it was a good morning, I’d still be asleep.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,706

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WeChat:

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And the haters? They were right. They were correct. They even nailed the small details, frankly it’s amazing.

Trending via Facebook:

I hated rats even before my girlfriend left me for one.

Broadcasted on X:

I bet my calculator app wrapped would be pretty shameful.

Just landed via Reddit:

Nothing hurts more than someone not getting your joke.

Trending via TikTok:

Twitter is the most fun you can have on the toilet.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Me: I love you more than a flower loves the sun. Him: I love you more than a teenager loves his phone.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Ladies, don’t date hungry guys. They’re just trying to get into your pantries.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Every triangle is a love triangle when you love triangles.

Just landed via Messenger:

Dear 8 hours of sleep, I miss you so much.

Live now on Pinterest:

I’ve walked the walk, but nowadays I just sit the sit.

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here making love.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Just over here spreading love while dodging haters like a ninja! 💃❤️🕺

hatred, here, humor, imagination, imagine, just, love, making, me, over, relationship

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I think I look pretty okay for my age. It’s just when I hold menus two feet from my face that I know the ruse is up.

0

2 months ago

age, appearance, eyesight, face, feet, hold, humor, i, just, know, menus, okay, pretty, reality, ruse, self-deprecation, think
Nose so runny it just signed me up for a 10k.

0

2 months ago

10k, fitness, humor, joke, just, me, nose, running, runny, signed
I’m pretty sure my husband’s favorite sound is the oven range fan turning on when I start making dinner.

0

2 months ago

cooking, dinner, fan, favorite, favorite sound, humor, husband, i, kitchen, making, oven, pretty, range, relationship, sound, start, sure, turning
I know I seem a little crazy sometimes, but that’s because I AM.

0

2 months ago

am, crazy, honesty, humor, i, identity, know, little, personality, self-awareness
Congrats to my tween for graduating at the top of his class from eye roll university.

0

2 months ago

achievement, class, eye, eye roll, graduation, humor, parenting, roll, sarcasm, top, tween, university
When you’re two beers in, and you realize she looks like God.

0

2 months ago

alcohol, attraction, beer, beers, God, humor, intoxication, looks, perspective, realization, realize

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on TikTok this month:

Drinking coffee because throwing chairs at people is frowned upon.

69 shares on Slack this month:

If I say, “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared peer-reviewed research, data, and charts, and I will destroy you.

88 shares on X this month:

Career? Never heard of her. I’m majoring in sunshine and snacks.

68 shares on Facebook this month:

Just paid rent. Now I have a place to starve in.

84 shares on Slack this month:

Just spent a couple seconds concerned about the sounds my stomach was making before realizing it was a motorcycle outside.

45 shares on Twitch this month:

You got beef with me, but none in your fridge. That’s why you’re mad. You’re hungry.

75 shares on Instagram this month:

If you’re curious what the priciest item in a store is just bring a kid along because they’ll definitely find then break it.

51 shares on Instagram this month:

“You’re an athlete,” I whisper to myself, as I begin my third attempt to get out of the couch.

81 shares on Reddit this month:

Every time your mom tells you that she wants the best for you, she is talking about me.

31 shares on Snapchat this month:

Being a woman is trying to guess what the hell is going on with your body three times a week.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Let’s all be grateful for a moment that stupidity is not contagious.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

I’m not joining no alternate Twitter app. If this gets taken down, I’m starting a family.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

I hate when people tell me I need to “get out of my comfort zone,” like I don’t even have a comfort zone; I am literally always uncomfortable.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Wouldn’t it be nice if you could donate your own body fat to those who need it more urgently?

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI get absolutely no work done and then throw their coworker under the bus as soon as their boss asks about it.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

“Are you seeing anyone,” like hallucinating?

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

I was dropped as an adult.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Аbsolutely crazy to thіnk that Leonardo DіCaprіo’s future gіrlfrіend іs currently nervous for her fіrst day of kіndergarten.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Liking someone romantically is actually just a humiliation ritual.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

I still get so surprised every time someone I find attractive finds me attractive. Like, are you sure?

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

Adulthood is basically just trying to fall asleep at night and stay awake during the day.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Therapy? You mean birdwatching.

Just landed via Slack:

Sex in the snow is wintercourse.

Breaking via Instagram:

Life is hard. It is harder if you are stupid.

Trending via Twitch:

Got a scam email full of mistakes like they’re not even trying. It won’t be long before AI takes their jobs.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

There must be an invisible mechanism on my book. Every time I open it, my husband starts trying to talk to me.

Shared recently on TikTok:

A good audiobook will have you inventing chores to do.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Behind every funny man is a woman who rolls her eyes.

Live now on Facebook:

Welcome to your 40s. You now pay for 7 streaming services, only use 4 and can’t remember the password to any of them.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

There’s literally no law that says you can’t put your friends down as your references and pretend they were your boss at an old job. Literally, there’s no law that says that.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here making love.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I think I look pretty okay for my age. It’s just when I hold menus two feet from my face that I know the ruse is up.

Nose so runny it just signed me up for a 10k.

I’m pretty sure my husband’s favorite sound is the oven range fan turning on when I start making dinner.

I know I seem a little crazy sometimes, but that’s because I AM.

Congrats to my tween for graduating at the top of his class from eye roll university.

When you’re two beers in, and you realize she looks like God.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨