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A gambler is only called an addict when he loses.

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Welcome to middle age. Everything you encounter is either blurry or too loud now.

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If you add orange juice to Jason Momoa, you get a Jason Mimosa.

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Two things I learned yesterday: Iโ€™m not too old to sit in a beanbag chair, but Iโ€™m too old to get out of one.

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My boss doesn’t want dogs in the office. But he didn’t say anything about alpacas.

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The sweater is an item of clothing that a child has to wear when parents are cold.

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If reports from this daisy are accurate, she loves me not.

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Laziness is the art to rest before one gets tired.

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If they stole your post, they probably need it more than you do.

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Why do moths eat sweaters? Have they tried sandwiches or avocados?

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In my years of experience, people who disagree with me are usually wrong.

In my years of experience, people who disagree with me are usually wrong.

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Isn't it weird how my opinions age like fine wine, while disagreements turn into sour grapes? ๐Ÿท๐Ÿ˜†



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