Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

A gambler is only called an addict when he loses.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Welcome to middle age. Everything you encounter is either blurry or too loud now.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

If you add orange juice to Jason Momoa, you get a Jason Mimosa.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Two things I learned yesterday: I’m not too old to sit in a beanbag chair, but I’m too old to get out of one.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

My boss doesn’t want dogs in the office. But he didn’t say anything about alpacas.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

The sweater is an item of clothing that a child has to wear when parents are cold.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

If reports from this daisy are accurate, she loves me not.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

Laziness is the art to rest before one gets tired.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

If they stole your post, they probably need it more than you do.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Why do moths eat sweaters? Have they tried sandwiches or avocados?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,355

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

Listen to the birds, not the news.

Just shared via X:

“You win some. You lose some.” Me, after losing for the millionth time in a row.

Breaking via Threads:

Halloween is a big day for dogs who love to absolutely lose their shit when the doorbell rings.

Going viral on Facebook:

Hello pollen, my old friend, my nose is running once again.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I’ve done literally nothing all day, except feel guilty about doing nothing all day.

Trending via Reddit:

What was the name of the boat in Titanic?

Trending via Messenger:

I don’t drink coffee all the time. I take breaks in between to make another one.

Trending via Pinterest:

I’m not feeling very worky today.

Shared recently on TikTok:

A hammock is a terrible place to receive bad news.

Just landed via Reddit:

Revenge is a dish best served by cutting a sandwich horizontally instead of diagonally.

In my years of experience, people who disagree with me are usually wrong.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Isn't it weird how my opinions age like fine wine, while disagreements turn into sour grapes? 🍷😆

confidence, disagree, disagreement, experience, humor, me, opinion, people, sarcasm, wrong

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Keeping a picture of my bed in a locket around my neck and staring at it longingly on my lunch break.

0

2 months ago

around, bed, break, daydreaming, humor, locket, longing, lunch, lunch break, neck, picture, procrastination, staring
Just got chills imagining what Tom and Jerry could accomplish if they just worked together for once.

0

1 month ago

accomplish, cartoon, collaboration, funny thought, got, humor, imagination, jerry, just, once, partnership, teamwork, thought, together, tom, Tom and Jerry
You don’t need to leave a message in a bottle. If the bottle is full of tequila, I’ll get the message.

0

2 months ago

bottle, communication, drinking, full, fun, humor, leave, message, need, party, tequila
Shoutout to drug dealers for teaching the metric system to Americans.

0

2 months ago

America, dealer, drug, drug dealer, education, humor, irony, metric, metric system, shoutout, system, teaching
If you feel depressed, go for a run. You will soon find out your physical health is far worse than your mental health.

0

2 months ago

depressed, exercise, feel, health, humor, irony, mental, mental health, physical, physical health, run, self-awareness, soon, worse
I love doing research. I will look up some stuff in a minute.

0

3 days ago

doing, humor, i, joke, laziness, love, minute, procrastination, research, science, study, stuff

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m so thankful I live on the planet that has pizza.

22 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Made it to Friday, but at what cost? Monday is literally in 20 minutes.

20 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Lately, when I meet new people, I ask them what their hobbies are instead of what they do for work, and let me tell you, the conversations have been absolutely top tier!

28 shares on Instagram this month:

What’s a girl gotta do to feel a dopamine high around here?

60 shares on Instagram this month:

Pumpkin spice season comes earlier every year and yet some still deny climate change.

16 shares on TikTok this month:

Problems are like balls. Everyone thinks they have bigger ones than you.

41 shares on Snapchat this month:

Everyone hates math until their paycheck looks funny, then all of a sudden you know trigonometry.

92 shares on Reddit this month:

The more I insisted marshmallows were vegetables, the angrier my doctor got.

46 shares on WhatsApp this month:

America is truly the best country in the world at not learning from their mistakes.

36 shares on Instagram this month:

I was a nothingburger to him, but he was an everything bagel to me…

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

I have some fart jokes I’ve been holding in.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

I feel like smashing my phone would be cathartic.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

My summer body is just my winter body with better lighting.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Why would a needle be in a haystack, anyway?

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

A pet resting their little paw on you is a sign of respect in their culture.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Nothing prepared me for the part of adulthood where you look like a baby deer learning to walk every time you get out of bed in the morning.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Money does not buy happiness, but it’s better to cry in a sports car than on a bicycle.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Being married means mostly shouting “What?” from other rooms.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

There’s no one I respect more than duck hunters. You spent $15,000 on a camouflage boat to outsmart a duck.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Car naps hit different, especially when you are the one driving.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I love saying “exactly” to stuff that doesn’t make sense.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Despite all my rage, I still keep refreshing the page.

Making waves on Messenger:

Thinking of telling my extra weight that I love it so that it can leave me too.

Breaking via Slack:

Trying to work outside on a laptop is like sunbathing on a melting ice cube.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I’m at an age where, when I’m tying my shoes, I think about what else I can do while I’m down here.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I’d enjoy summer a lot more if someone came by hourly and misted me like produce.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Made it to Friday, but at what cost? Monday is literally in 20 minutes.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

It’s not jingling to you that I’m standing on Christmas.

Trending via WeChat:

When I moved into my new igloo, my friends threw me a surprise housewarming party. Now I’m homeless.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Nothing refreshes my memory of what I need at the grocery store like coming home from the grocery store.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

In my years of experience, people who disagree with me are usually wrong.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Keeping a picture of my bed in a locket around my neck and staring at it longingly on my lunch break.

Just got chills imagining what Tom and Jerry could accomplish if they just worked together for once.

You don’t need to leave a message in a bottle. If the bottle is full of tequila, I’ll get the message.

Shoutout to drug dealers for teaching the metric system to Americans.

If you feel depressed, go for a run. You will soon find out your physical health is far worse than your mental health.

I love doing research. I will look up some stuff in a minute.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨