Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Imagine the chaos in the neighborhood if car alarms yelled out, 'Stephanie, stop sleeping on the job!' 🚗😂 Sweet dreams, sleepless Stephanie!"

alarm, blast, car, car alarm, everyone, humor, knows, making, name, night, should, sound

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Unpopular opinion: we really grew up in the best era to be a kid, and the worst era to be an adult.

0

2 months ago

adult, best, best era, childhood, era, growing, growing up, kid, opinion, unpopular, unpopular opinion, worst, worst era
If people continue to behave so badly, I will donate my organs to an animal shelter.

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2 months ago

animal, animal shelter, bad, bad behavior, behavior, donation, humor, i, irony, organ, organ donation, organs, people, sarcasm, shelter
When you want to key his car, but he doesn’t have one, so you bend his bus pass.

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2 months ago

bus, bus pass, car, conflict, frustration, humor, key, pass, prank, relationship, revenge, want
I’m not talking to my husband and I don’t think he even knows it.

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2 months ago

awareness, communication, even, humor, husband, i, relationship, silence, talking, think
I enjoy long, romantic walks … to the departure gate.

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2 months ago

airport, departure, departure gate, enjoy, gate, humor, i, joke, romance, romantic, romantic walk, travel, walk, walking, walks
Objection your honor, if the prosecutor doesn’t have anything nice to say then he shouldn’t say anything at all.

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2 months ago

anything, court, courtroom, honor, humor, nice, objection, prosecutor, say, wit

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

86 shares on YouTube this month:

Sitting in an antique chair is weird, like this thing has seen so many butts.

91 shares on Telegram this month:

Changing my passwords regularly has certainly helped protect my accounts. Against me.

76 shares on Messenger this month:

If Twitter has taught me anything, a lot of us aren’t ready for a spelling bee.

36 shares on Messenger this month:

Watching a movie and subtitles not syncing is low-key pain.

76 shares on Instagram this month:

I travel like I’m rich, then eat like I’m broke.

42 shares on Discord this month:

As an academic, I sometimes dream about writing fiction instead, and then I remember grant proposals.

91 shares on Facebook this month:

People keep wishing January was over like the worst month of the year isn’t coming up next. Thats like wishing someone would stop arguing with you and just punch you in the face.

69 shares on Reddit this month:

Normalise following up to an ignored email with “helllooooooo?”

41 shares on Slack this month:

Old age is like a glorious, extended long weekend, but you always know Monday’s coming.

36 shares on Messenger this month:

The idiot’s diet is just biting your tongue.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Quitting my job to focus on watching YouTube.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a vacation… while still on vacation.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

In a room full of art, I’d still stare at you.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Blocking someone isn’t enough, I want them to get lice.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Twitter is great because you can get good life advice from other emotionally unstable adults.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

The belief that software engineers are uniquely intelligent has done unimaginable damage on society.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Yoga is just slow motion breakdancing.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

I’ve heard that people who don’t have Facebook use their free time to lie naked on top of each other. Ew, imagine that.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

I am absolutely unstoppable, unless it’s a bit rainy.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

I’m at that point in my life where if a car hit me, I’d probably say thank you to the kind stranger.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

It’s only a family vacation if you think “We’re never doing this again” at least once.

Live now on Instagram:

Where do I see myself in 5 years? Here, but fatter.

Making waves on Discord:

From now on, every time I think I’m hating too much, I will think of Kendrick and realize I’m not hating to my full potential.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Not gonna lie, to this day, I don’t know the difference between gray and grey, I just wing it.

Just landed via YouTube:

As president, I will allow people to use the same password as before when changing their password.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Twitter is a prime example why most of us shouldn’t be left unsupervised.

Making waves on Snapchat:

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for a cauliflower cake, and I reported them for harmful content.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I wish I could get a bouquet of mozzarella sticks.

Shared recently on Facebook:

If you start liking someone, just block them. Follow me for more relationship advice.

Trending via Instagram:

Sex is like tacos. I wish I were having some now.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Instead of making a sound, car alarms that go off at night should blast your name so everyone knows it’s your car.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Unpopular opinion: we really grew up in the best era to be a kid, and the worst era to be an adult.

If people continue to behave so badly, I will donate my organs to an animal shelter.

When you want to key his car, but he doesn’t have one, so you bend his bus pass.

I’m not talking to my husband and I don’t think he even knows it.

I enjoy long, romantic walks … to the departure gate.

Objection your honor, if the prosecutor doesn’t have anything nice to say then he shouldn’t say anything at all.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨