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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

I have high standards for dating because I’m a high-quality woman, and you wouldn’t want me any other way.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

My husband asked me if he had any annoying habits then got offended during the PowerPoint presentation.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

All women want is to consistently annoy one handsome man forever.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

The universe clearly isn’t working as it should so someone should turn it off and back on again.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

I’ve folded seven page corners of the book I’m reading. That’s 49 in dog ears.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

I love how my brain is like, “We’re not going to think about that,” and then thinks about only that.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Never in my life have I heard my dad sneeze at an acceptable volume.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Can’t believe penguins have to publish all those books with their tiny hands.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Trying to watch a superhero movie without stressing about the infrastructure damage to the city.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

The day after Christmas is a dangerous morning to be a microwave.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,377

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Reddit:

Senility is the pits. Spent an hour driving around the mall parking lot looking for my car.

Shared recently on WeChat:

IKEA products should be cheaper, I’m doing all the work here. It’s like ordering takeout food and still having to cook it when it arrives.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Stop trying to be liked by everybody. You don’t even like everybody.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here doing an epic air-drum solo to ‘In The Air Tonight’.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Hardly a day goes by without me being reminded that an academic degree has nothing to do with intelligence.

Breaking via Discord:

Stop eating around the bush or whatever the saying is.

Shared recently on Slack:

Love that every time I finish a snack I have to wave my hands around to prove to my dog it’s all gone, like I’m cashing him out at a casino or something.

Making waves on YouTube:

We need a streaming service that’s only ads. No shows, just commercials. They pay us $15 a month.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Incorrectly is the only word that, when spelled correctly, is still spelled incorrectly.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Part of getting older is having a favorite pen.

Interesting people are my favorite endangered species.

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Interesting people are my favorite endangered species.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Move over, pandas and polar bears!🐼❄️ It's the interesting people's time to shine as the rare and coveted endangered species in our midst. Better protect these fascinating beings before they become extinct from boringness!🦄🌟 #UniqueAndUnicornlike"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on Twitch this month:

Our pronunciation of the word “colonel” does feel like group psychosis.

68 shares on Telegram this month:

Life so stupid, I just want a burger and to be held.

59 shares on Facebook this month:

I love wearing sunglasses. Am I looking at your face? Am I looking at your ass? No one knows.

99 shares on X this month:

Windmill? Big fan.

79 shares on Snapchat this month:

Math is like Chinese to me.

55 shares on WeChat this month:

The only problem I have with chocolate is that one minute it’s there and the next it’s not.

99 shares on Telegram this month:

Quitting my job to focus more on my desire not to work anymore.

70 shares on Telegram this month:

Hangman is so great. No better way for a child to learn how to spell than by having to save a man from hanging to death.

69 shares on Messenger this month:

Girls really only want one simple thing; and that one thing is all of your attention.

20 shares on Slack this month:

Mid-life crisis? No, no, mid-day crisis. Something happens every day.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Most men don’t actually want to do things; they just want to talk about doing them.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Celery is depressing green water wafers.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I really think my coworkers and I deserve an Oscar for acting like everything at work is fine.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Anyone else think it’s weird how cancer kills more people than any other astrological sign.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Manipulative people really be like “oh, so now I’m the bad guy for being the bad guy?”

13 folks are currently checking 👀

My husband is the do-it-yourself type. I asked him to take out the garbage and he said, “do it yourself.”

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Feeling weird from my cookie-based diet.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Not all who wander are lost. Some are just moms. In Target. Hiding from their children.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Please no more relationships that are supposed to be a lesson. I’m already quite the scholar.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I mostly keep friendships going because they have my good Tupperware.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,357

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Just say ‘lol’ and move on.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Wondering when these skinny jeans are gonna kick in.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Behind every beautiful woman is either tummy issues, low iron, or poor eyesight.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

I need to hire someone to just constantly slap food out of my hand.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Just seen a guy with a Coca-Cola and yellow Lay’s chips. Classic combo, he knows his stuff.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

I’m so sick of these little 30-minute weekends.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Fun fact: The US was originally not meant to be a reality TV show.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

I had no idea being an adult would involve so many lotions.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

“It’s bikini season,” I whisper, eating another bikini.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

My level of sarcasm’s gotten to a point where I don’t even know if I’m kidding or not.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Twitch:

I can clean the whole house if I want to, but if someone asks me to do it, suddenly I’m lazy.

Spotted on Reddit:

I don’t need therapy. I need everyone who’s ever wronged me to suddenly feel a chill and not know why.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Breakfast in bed: where your cozy blanket turns into a crumby crime scene.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I yelled at my cat and the other cats yelled at me. Like wow, okay, pay my mortgage then.

Making waves on Telegram:

I’m tired and drank a lot of coffee, so now I’m tired but faster.

Making waves on Instagram:

“How is the job search going?” First of all, that is a violent question. And it hurts me, by the way. And second, how the hell should I know.

Going viral on Facebook:

Sometimes, in the middle of eating a rotisserie chicken, I ask myself “did I just run a red light?”

Just landed via TikTok:

And so ends another week without me getting rich unexpectedly.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

A worm is a pretty disappointing prize for getting up early, if you ask me.

Breaking via WeChat:

So many spreadsheets and not once did I feel excelled.

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