Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

If you respond, “A reason for living,” when a store employee asks if they can help you find something, they will leave you alone.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Congratulations to the people who never took their Christmas decorations down. You’re almost there.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

I wonder if it’s possible to swim from one end to the other in a pool filled with mashed potatoes.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

You better be kissing the screen when I send pics.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

And then the vodka whispered, “Say what you really think.”

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Tried Adderall to help my productivity but now I’m just intensely aware of all the things I should be doing.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Turns out, college is all about forming unspoken, powerful bonds with people you talk to twice.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

One day we will tell our grandkids how far we had to scroll to get to the recipe.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

I hate when the lotion bottle pump squirts the hardened remains of its mucus plug into the palm of your hand.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

It must be hard to be a rapper knowing at any moment your enemies may make beautiful poems about you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,679

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

Adulting is making a phone call, even though you don’t want to.

Just shared via Slack:

What did people do before eyeglasses, like half the world just walked around not being able to see?

Breaking via WeChat:

All income is disposable if you’re brave enough.

Going viral on Reddit:

Meds have done more for me than any man ever could.

Making waves on YouTube:

Driving is great because it combines my love of sitting with my love of being mad.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Salary week, but salary weak.

Making waves on Threads:

Been acting really busy today because I can tell my coworker wants to talk about something in his personal life.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Blackout curtains are dangerous, because it’s 1 p.m. outside and 1 a.m. in here.

Just landed via Pinterest:

If you can’t tell which family member is coming up the stairs by the speed and weight of their footsteps, are you even family?

Shared recently on Reddit:

Therapy is basically me saying, “I did a thing,” and my therapist saying, “Yay, good job!”

It’s never too early to be sad about having to work the next day.

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It’s never too early to be sad about having to work the next day.
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Commentary:
Already sad about tomorrow's work? Guess I'm just an overachiever! 😅💼🔮

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on Threads this month:

No, I love darkness at 5pm and the death of a nation.

40 shares on Twitch this month:

If you like someone, set them free. If they comeback, it means nobody liked them. Set them free again.

96 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Went to the grocery store hungry. I didn’t need to pay rent this month anyway.

68 shares on Facebook this month:

My wife bought new towels and they’re different colors, so I know the entire color scheme of my house is about to change.

45 shares on Telegram this month:

I see no action figures, puzzles, or board games. I thought you said you wanted to play with me.

92 shares on Facebook this month:

My parents told me Santa wasn’t real when I was 16. Jokes on them, because I’m at the mall right now, and guess who’s here.

29 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Oh, so ChatGPT is gonna tell me about me? Seems gossipy.

21 shares on Discord this month:

The worst part of marriage is when you do something stupid, the best part of marriage is when your partner does something stupid.

55 shares on Snapchat this month:

Tell me I’d look good in a potato sack or lose me forever.

83 shares on Telegram this month:

I hope we’re good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

No, I won’t be attending your seance, I barely want to talk to the living.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If my wife and I got divorced and moved to separate states, I’m convinced I would still hear her chewing.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Please, if you ever offer me a snack and I say no, ask me again, I didn’t mean it the first time.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Work is the worst video game ever.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I think I look pretty okay for my age. It’s just when I hold menus two feet from my face that I know the ruse is up.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Of course I stay hydrated. Carbohydrated.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

According to the web, caffeine deficiency is a life threatening condition for people around you.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to be dramatic, but when I accidentally save a file twice and it adds that (1) at the end, it is the worst moment of my life.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

You should get a pension for having to go to school for so many years.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,511

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

AI is trained on what we write, so if we want to save our jobs we should all write really badly for a while. I’ve been doing my bit for years.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Kinda in the mood to let my feelings impair my judgement.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Terrible things can happen if you go camping. For starters, you could want to go camping again.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

From now on, I’m gonna tell guests that I made my house especially messy just for their visit. It was hard, but I got it done.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

So annoying that in order to meet new people you need to go out and meet new people. Ideally, I would have known you in a past life.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Before you just FaceTime me randomly, please don’t.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

To avoid burnout at work, use the 30-30 rule: after 30 minutes of work, quit your job and disappear into the mountains for 30 years.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Is it possible to die of horniness? Asking for a friend.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

I used to have this mental illness, where I thought putting your heart and soul into a relationship would make it work.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

No need for a Halloween costume this year because there’s nothing scarier than being in your mid-20s and not knowing who you are or what you want to do anymore.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

The best weight you’ll ever lose is the weight of other people’s opinions.

Shared recently on Discord:

My friend and I had a running joke. She said, “Let’s do a marathon,” and then we both laughed.

Going viral on Discord:

US etiquette question: Do you need to tip the guy at the border who reads your last five years of social media history?

Live now on TikTok:

Procrastination isn’t a horrible thing. I mean, you always have something to do tomorrow… plus you have nothing to do today.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Idiocracy wasn’t supposed to be a documentary.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Imagine applying for a job, then not picking up calls from random numbers.

Freshly posted on X:

Sorry I’m late, I was fighting for my right to party.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Just saw a piece of jewelry made in the 80s described as “vintage,” so I’ll be laying down the rest of the day.

Breaking via Twitch:

Does anyone know the password to my work computer? Or how to do my job?

Making waves on Messenger:

In the autumn there are two types of creatures who collect acorns: squirrels and toddlers.

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