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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Getting tipsy at a dimly lit restaurant with good conversation would heal me right now.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

My addiction to buying things I don’t need started at the school book fair.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

I miss whatever age I was when I thought five dollars was a lot of money.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

I’ve started taking a brisk walk straight after dinner and it’s saving me an absolute fortune on restaurant bills.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Nobody at this train station knows that there’s a hole in my sock.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

The date didn’t go well but she was nice enough to send a PDF of everything I did wrong afterwards.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and live for 150 years. Lesson learned.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Driving between speed cameras is called intermittent fasting.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Does anyone know the password to my work computer? Or how to do my job?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,274

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

The best way to reach me is with intelligence and humor.

Shared recently on Threads:

You can add “cha cha cha” to any sentence you want without explaining yourself. Nobody really appreciates this.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

If you think voting is pointless wait until you hear about writing posts here.

Going viral on Discord:

I don’t know the difference between “gray” & “grey” and I’m too scared to even ask.

Trending via X:

Thanksgiving should be called Feaster.

Just landed via Instagram:

Breakups are hard, but have you ever been disappointed in the food you ordered?

Making waves on Pinterest:

Not being able to fall asleep is so embarrassing. All I’m asking my brain to do is nothing and it can’t even do that?

Making waves on Twitch:

My youngest had a mandatory drugs and alcohol lecture today at school, and he still can’t mix a proper drink.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

The sandwich I made for lunch didn’t even make it until 10am.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Girl math is crying for two hours and then realizing it wasn’t that deep.

It’s so cool when people who write for a living admit that they don’t read books or have thoughts.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
"Ah yes, the secret to being a writer: just wing it and let auto-correct do the thinking! 📚🧠✍️😂"

admission, admit, books, cool, humor, humorist, irony, literature, living, people, read, reading, thoughts, writing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Outside letting mosquitoes get some of this.

0

2 months ago

activity, humor, insect, letting, mosquito, outdoor, outdoor activity, outside
God, I was so happy when I was 18. I wasn’t at the time, but in retrospect I was.

0

2 months ago

age, contentment, God, happiness, happy, i, irony, reflection, retrospect, time, youth
What’s the best job for someone who cries very easily and cannot handle any criticism?

0

2 months ago

best, criticism, crying, easily, employment, handle, humor, irony, job, laughter, sensitivity, someone
Still can’t believe America has a federal holiday to celebrate the hit movie Independence Day.

0

2 months ago

America, believe, celebrate, celebration, day, hit, holiday, humor, independence, Independence Day, irony, movie, still
Children really brighten up a home. They never turn the lights off, …

0

2 months ago

brightness, children, family, home, humor, light, lights, never, turn
I am like a wildflower, a quiet rebellion blooming through ruins and dust.

0

2 months ago

am, blooming, dust, i, independence, nature, quiet, quiet strength, rebellion, resilience, ruins, strength, through, wildflower

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on WeChat this month:

Being a millennial means finding out you can’t afford to live in that apartment complex you thought was really shady when you were a kid.

29 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s not magic, but I bet you are reading this post with one leg on top of the other.

36 shares on Reddit this month:

Be gentle with me, I’m from the 1900s.

64 shares on Snapchat this month:

I invoiced my boss two extra hours for the dream I had about work last night. I’m considering that overtime.

27 shares on TikTok this month:

Not to be a nerd, but a well-placed semicolon is hot as hell.

77 shares on WeChat this month:

I was guest-starring on The Love Boat when you woke me up. You’re dead to me.

56 shares on Messenger this month:

An adult is a person who makes noise when they stand up.

83 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Chuck Norris passed his driving test on foot.

75 shares on WhatsApp this month:

As someone who lives on earth, rising sea levels are alarming. But as someone who has always wanted to be a mermaid, I’m intrigued.

99 shares on Reddit this month:

Talking to animals doesn’t make you crazy, hearing them talk back does.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Everybody looks sexier when they are happy.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Man, these end times are taking forever.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

My favorite color is money.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Ever since I was little, I always knew I wanted to retire.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

I don’t understand why my cooking was garbage. I did everything right. I drank wine while I cooked. I had a hand towel over my shoulder. Literally everything right.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

Basketball’s all like “gimme that pumpkin, I need it” and golf is all like “***k this egg, imma hit it into the sun”

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

If you buy something with a lifetime warranty and it breaks, the manufacturer will send a hitman to your house.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Have come to the devastating realization that I am an over-nodder on video calls.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Do you ever wish you could just walk away mid-conversation when you’re bored?

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Skinny people are easier to get blown around by storms. These donuts are for my safety.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

The worst part of all-you-can-eat buffets are all the witnesses.

Spotted on Facebook:

I miss when The Weeknd made haunted strip club music. Didn’t know how good I had it.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Banks should have a gold bar that you can go in and touch when you feel poor.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera!

Making waves on YouTube:

That’s not my girl bestie, that’s my platonic wife.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Sorry for being so cringey and awkward. It will definitely happen again.

Just shared via WeChat:

I would cry but my makeup is too expensive.

Just landed via TikTok:

I like to live life dangerously by occasionally sticking my foot out over the edge of the bed at night.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Pilots lowkey have an aura when they walk past you in the airport.

Going viral on Threads:

My parents grew to like my girlfriend so much, they take her as their own daughter. Now they started looking for a proper boyfriend for her.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

It’s so cool when people who write for a living admit that they don’t read books or have thoughts.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Outside letting mosquitoes get some of this.

God, I was so happy when I was 18. I wasn’t at the time, but in retrospect I was.

What’s the best job for someone who cries very easily and cannot handle any criticism?

Still can’t believe America has a federal holiday to celebrate the hit movie Independence Day.

Children really brighten up a home. They never turn the lights off, …

I am like a wildflower, a quiet rebellion blooming through ruins and dust.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨