Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

I love befriending yappers. They bring the yapping out of me. Then we yap together. Yapping is so much fun.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

No one is more surprised than my kids every night when I say it’s bed time.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Your 20s are for developing attachments to people who will haunt you for the rest of your life.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Of course, because I’m wearing a white shirt, my coffee chose violence.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

Who called it a period tracker instead of a madvent calendar?

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

For Halloween, I’m going as an emotional roller coaster.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Every time a Taco Bell rings, an angel gets diarrhea.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

The Angry Birds assaulted me and made me rip their disgusting bong.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

It’s like my therapist always says, that’ll be $175.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Need to shave my legs again. Blow-drying takes far too long.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

217 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,486

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,486

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,716

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

Every McDonald’s should have a flag they fly at half mast when the ice cream machine is down.

Trending via Snapchat:

I can’t believe we became the adults in the most unaffordable period in history.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Netflix subtitles be like “speaking foreign language”. Bro, translate it!

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Sleep well, middle finger—you’ve got a big day ahead of you tomorrow.

Seen just now on Discord:

Genies are a myth perpetuated by creepy lamps who just want to get rubbed more.

Just shared via Telegram:

Why is it called Christian community and not Holyfans?

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Podcasts are like babies, they’re too easy to create and not everyone should have one.

Making waves on Reddit:

Men don’t eject their eyes from their sockets and yell awooga anymore.

Making waves on Reddit:

When I take a shower I’m: 5% cleaning myself, 10% singing, 85% making life changing decisions.

Just shared via Telegram:

Always remember, if you ever need me, I’m just several phone calls and unread texts away.

I’ve reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like I'm just the caboose on the train of thought – always late to the party! 🚂😄"

age, aging, forgetfulness, humor, life, me, mind, station, thought, train, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I respectfully ignore DMs because I promise you, I am not your soulmate.

0

5 months ago

am, communication, DM, DMs, humor, i, ignore, media, message, online, online communication, promise, rejection, social, social media, soulmate
Clicking on a suspicious link at work just to feel something.

0

2 months ago

behavior, boredom, clicking, feel, humor, internet, just, link, office, office humor, online, online behavior, risk-taking, something, suspicious, suspicious link, work
Sometimes I have to turn off the news and put on a true crime documentary, so I can relax.

0

3 months ago

crime, documentary, entertainment, humor, i, news, put, relax, relaxation, sometimes, true, true crime, turn
The actors you see in movies are probably home by now.

0

3 weeks ago

actor, actors, home, humor, joke, movie
Call me dramatic, but I think I deserve a love confession in the rain.

0

2 months ago

call, confession, deserve, drama, dramatic, emotion, humor, i, love, me, rain, relationship, romantic, think
I hope you catch the bouquet at my funeral.

0

2 months ago

bouquet, catch, celebration, event, funeral, hope, humor, i, irony

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on Telegram this month:

Hired a financial advisor, and his first piece of advice was that I don’t make nearly enough money to justify paying a financial advisor.

83 shares on Slack this month:

Not sure how to flirt, but I can make things awkward if you’re into that.

39 shares on Messenger this month:

We have now entered the void (25th December to 31st December).

67 shares on Snapchat this month:

They won’t teach you this in school, but life is all about going to weird little diners.

14 shares on Snapchat this month:

I don’t like to call it a xenomorph — I prefer the term “the alien from Alien.”

71 shares on TikTok this month:

Not being able to teleport is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

40 shares on Messenger this month:

Skinny people are easier to get blown around by storms. These donuts are for my safety.

63 shares on X this month:

USPS tracking: Step 1: We don’t think it exists. Step 2: Delivered.

59 shares on Slack this month:

Cigarette smell gotta be one of the worst smells in the history of smells.

46 shares on WeChat this month:

If you sit down to play a game of chess and your opponent punches you in the face, you’re not going to prevail by getting better at chess.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

“You’re at the age where both 1990 and 2003 are flirting with you.”

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Losing weight in your 40’s: LOL!

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Nasa is launching a satellite to say sorry to the aliens. They’re calling it the Apollo G.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Why the hell is my laundry bin always full? I’m not even going anywhere.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

They should release the Epstein list right before the Oscars.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

You can put refrigerator magnets on your car, too. There are no rules.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

I see why grandmas used to cook dinner at 3 p.m. and sit down the rest of the day.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Shout-out to my embarrassingly squeaky ass bed frame that makes me sound more popular than I actually am to my neighbors.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Let’s all be grateful for a moment that stupidity is not contagious.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Betrayal only comes from someone we’re close to. Just like herpes.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

If a woman says she’ll be ready in 15 minutes, she will be. No need to remind her every half hour.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

My gf doesn’t really like it when I talk about my ex, which means I now have a lot of stories from college where I’m just alone for some reason.

Breaking via Discord:

You should be allowed to go home early from work if you miss your dog a lot.

Going viral on Telegram:

Life is short. Make sure you spend as much time as possible on the web arguing with strangers.

Just landed via YouTube:

Unfortunately for the both of us, I really like you.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Not really interested in anything that isn’t everything.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Asking him what his favorite dinosaur is on the first date to determine compatibility.

Going viral on TikTok:

The cinema vibe is my favorite, you literally forget about the world for like 2-3 hours.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

My Uber driver didn’t try to talk to me the entire ride. Five stars.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Going out to eat and shopping by yourself is actually one of the most peaceful and therapeutic things ever.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’ve reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I respectfully ignore DMs because I promise you, I am not your soulmate.

Clicking on a suspicious link at work just to feel something.

Sometimes I have to turn off the news and put on a true crime documentary, so I can relax.

The actors you see in movies are probably home by now.

Call me dramatic, but I think I deserve a love confession in the rain.

I hope you catch the bouquet at my funeral.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨