Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

You know you’re a bad cook when the dog won’t lick the plate.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Some people you look at or hear talking and think to yourself, the wheel may be turning, but the hamster is dead.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Getting road rage alone in my house.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Welcome to your 50s, your joints are now meteorologists.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Quitting my job to focus on being in love.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

I crashed my bike in 1989 and hurt my knee real bad. We didn’t have social media back then so I’m telling you guys now.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

I know Jesus was a carpenter, but I think he would’ve been a better plumber, you know, with the water thing.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Gang members are so lucky to have something to do with their hands in photos.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

I don’t have an advent calendar, so I’m just opening cupboard doors and eating what’s in there.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Getting older is sexy. You moan more.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,272

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Goodbye, August, don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

Going viral on WeChat:

Unlike the brain, the stomach alerts you when it’s empty.

Seen just now on Twitch:

The only thing worse than children talking about sex is adults talking about politics.

Just shared via Facebook:

The key to a healthy relationship is taking turns being the sad one.

Just landed via WeChat:

Normalize saying “better you than me” to people who keep complaining about everything.

Going viral on YouTube:

I never used to worry about death but now I’m terrified it will break my winning Wordle streak.

Seen just now on Threads:

Lou Read is the name of my favorite musician and also the book I keep in the toilet.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

About to form my very first opinion.

Spotted on TikTok:

“Autophagy” would be a beautiful name for a girl.

Trending via Instagram:

Someone yelled “hey, retard!” and I looked back.

“Just be yourself”—that has gotten me mixed results in the past.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Being myself has led to a few victories, a few awkward dance moves, and at least one restraining order 😂🤦‍♂️🕺

advice, authenticity, humor, just, me, mixed, mixed result, past, result, results, self

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I need a button in Zoom meetings where it just freezes my screen and makes it look like I’m having network issues.

0

2 months ago

button, freeze, having, humor, i, issues, just, meetings, need, network, productivity, remote, remote work, screen, technology, where, work, Zoom
No one ever talks about the 6th love language (being annoying).

0

2 months ago

6th, annoying, being, communication, ever, humor, joke, language, love, love language, relationship
Due to unfortunate circumstances, things are no longer fergalicious nor bootylicious.

0

2 months ago

bootylicious, circumstances, culture, fergalicious, humor, pop, pop culture, things, unfortunate, wordplay
Not again. I mean good morning.

0

2 months ago

again, expression, good, humor, i, mean, morning, routine, sarcasm
I’ve got 50 minutes to make it look like I’ve been flossing for the last 6 months.

0

1 month ago

50, 6, care, dental, dental hygiene, flossing, got, humor, hygiene, last, minutes, months, oral, oral care, pressure, procrastination, time, time pressure
Shooting a gun in the air to get everyone’s attention, then immediately getting shy and sheepishly twisting my shoe in the dirt and blinking bashfully.

0

1 week ago

air, attention, awkward, bashful, blinking, dirt, getting, gun, humor, interaction, shoe, shooting, shy, social, social interaction

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on Pinterest this month:

Beds are always the coziest when it’s time to get up and you don’t want to.

19 shares on Slack this month:

My one cat vomited her dinner and then the other cat went in and started eating it. And that, my friends, is what ChatGPT is to me.

85 shares on Messenger this month:

Halloween is cool, but nothing is spookier than my previous choices in men.

93 shares on Pinterest this month:

I hope we get the nice AI that enslaves us and makes us their pets and not the bad AI that enslaves us to mine lithium or something.

76 shares on X this month:

Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe.

47 shares on Messenger this month:

Are we all getting a front-row seat to the end times, or what?

93 shares on Instagram this month:

Adulting in 3 words: it’s always something.

15 shares on Telegram this month:

I love unplanned fun.

46 shares on Telegram this month:

I could never work in an aquarium. I would have a penguin under my shirt at the end of the shift.

73 shares on Instagram this month:

“Damn, you’re tight!” I whisper as I look at my monthly budget.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

I have two reactions when I leave the house: Ew, the people. Ew, the weather.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

People out there having five-year plans, and here I am waking up just hoping I remember what day it is.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

I’m chronically online in a different and more sophisticated way than you are.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Rewatching my story every time somebody heart it to see what they see.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

I hate when I turn off my brights for an incoming vehicle and then realize it’s a Cybertruck.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Scared to go on dates, cause what if I find the one and never be able to be single again.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Therapy? I have Spotify.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

I firmly believe that at this point my guardian angel is just eating popcorn and watching the drama.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Parents will give you a lecture about fake friends and then get scammed by their own siblings.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Can anyone recommend some good places for somebody just getting into visiting?

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Neighbors are fighting. Can I knock on the wall and ask them to speak up so I know whose side I’m on?

Just landed via Discord:

I am re-watching “Narcos,” and I have to say that for someone who smokes so much weed, Pablo Escobar gets a lot done.

Just landed via Telegram:

She never lets ideas interrupt the easy flow of her conversation.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Have nothing to say, I just wanted to appear in your newsfeed.

Breaking via Reddit:

What bootlickers fail to understand is that the boot eventually comes for them too.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Why does the phone ring longer when you’re ignoring the call?

Making waves on WeChat:

I see people my age out there climbing mountains and skydiving, and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

Live now on X:

I know breakfastless behavior when I see it.

Breaking via Facebook:

Being an adult is realizing $1000 is little money to have, but a lot to owe.

Just shared via WeChat:

The word Ohio looks like a tractor.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“Just be yourself”—that has gotten me mixed results in the past.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I need a button in Zoom meetings where it just freezes my screen and makes it look like I’m having network issues.

No one ever talks about the 6th love language (being annoying).

Due to unfortunate circumstances, things are no longer fergalicious nor bootylicious.

Not again. I mean good morning.

I’ve got 50 minutes to make it look like I’ve been flossing for the last 6 months.

Shooting a gun in the air to get everyone’s attention, then immediately getting shy and sheepishly twisting my shoe in the dirt and blinking bashfully.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨