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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Imagine being all knowing and still putting a snake in charge of apples.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

The problem with people starts when we expect things from them, or have anything to do with them.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

My dad thought Siri would be more helpful finding a lemon ricotta recipe if he used an Italian accent.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Hi there, I very much look forward to letting you down.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

When Dr. Seuss wrote, “Oh, The Places You’ll Go,” he did not consider how comfortable my couch would be.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

If I were god, I would’ve rested all 7 days.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Good morning to everyone except those who need approval from strangers on the internet.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

If you don’t know how many x-rays it takes before a person develops super powers, should you really be in a medical profession?

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

I love when my Uber driver and I both shut the hell up for a full ride.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Don’t buy roses for her, buy chicken nuggets. Show her you really care.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,234

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

King-sized beds: Because you both want to sleep on the same mattress, but not in the same zip code.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Holding this fart in feels like I’m pregnant with a dinosaur.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Behind every great tweet is a person rolling their eyes.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I’m so loyal to my music, I’ll hunt down a song I used to love five years back.

Making waves on Telegram:

‘I love reading!’ says the woman who loves owning books.

Trending via Snapchat:

I’ve been ghosted enough to add paranormal investigator to my resume.

Going bananas on Facebook:

The worst part about borrowing money is having to pay it back or move to a new city.

Shared recently on Messenger:

My wife is pretty excited about going away this weekend so I’m not sure she knows I’m coming with her.

Seen just now on X:

Have you ever been sitting around overthinking about overthinking, and then wonder why you’re even thinking that?

Trending via Discord:

Some people feel like unpaid actors in my sitcom called “What Fresh Chaos Is This?”

Just being myself is how we got into this mess.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oops, I guess I'm the plot twist in my own sitcom! 😅🎬🚦

being, confession, got, humor, identity, just, mess, myself, personality, self

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If I turned into a “teen wolf”, my first order of business would definitely be helping my basketball team get to the local championships.

0

2 months ago

basketball, business, championships, helping, humor, i, local, order, spirit, sports, team, team spirit, teen, teen wolf, transformation, wolf
Why are plane tickets so expensive? You’re going that way anyway, just give me a ride.

0

4 months ago

airfare, expense, expensive, give, going, humor, joke, just, me, plane, plane ticket, ride, ticket, tickets, transportation, travel, why
I’m at the age where, if you ask me to go out after 9 p.m., I’m definitely not coming.

0

2 months ago

9, after, age, age-related, age-related humor, ask, bedtime, coming, definitely, humor, humor about age, late, late night, me, night, night out, nightlife, where
Sometimes life is “Eat, pray, love,” and sometimes it’s “Scroll, snack, overthink.”

0

2 days ago

eat, humor, life, lifestyle, love, modern, modern life, overthink, pray, scroll, snack, sometimes
I’m ready to try another planet.

0

2 months ago

adventure, another, exploration, humor, planet, ready, space, travel, try
I could be a morning person, if morning was sometime around noon.

0

2 months ago

humor, i, morning, noon, person, procrastination, sleep, time

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on Messenger this month:

If I were a mouse, I’d say things like “cheesed to meet you”.

86 shares on TikTok this month:

Just paid rent. Now I have a place to starve in.

28 shares on Slack this month:

I can already feel that the day is going to seize me instead of the other way around.

22 shares on Messenger this month:

Sorry I’m late. Had to scroll back to my birth year.

81 shares on Instagram this month:

I want to save money, but all I’m saving are memes.

26 shares on Threads this month:

Blackout curtains because I’ll decide what time it is.

57 shares on Instagram this month:

I know breakfastless behavior when I see it.

80 shares on Threads this month:

Let’s get married and have kids, so instead of relaxing during weeknights, we can go to seven practices and relearn algebra.

49 shares on Twitch this month:

Me, unwrapping a gift: Oh wow, an item. I love these!

58 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Take a broken girl, fix her. And she will go back to the same guy again.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

I feel sorry for Netflix era kids. They will never know the high stakes adrenaline of running away in an ad break, with the beckoning call of a sibling screaming “It’s ON!” to send you hurdling over furniture to get back in time.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

I can easily spot a wolf in sheep’s clothing but this guy was dressed like my grandmother which threw me off.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Men, it’s really simple. We want everything, but nothing, at the same time or different times, sometimes but not always.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Netflix and chi…cken nuggets.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Someone at work had a 25-year anniversary, and it took everything in me not to say she’s been working longer than I’ve been alive.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

A pet resting their little paw on you is a sign of respect in their culture.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Not pretty enough for Instagram, not funny enough for Twitter. Welcome to WhatsApp status.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Shout-out to the lifeguard who recommended moving the potato to the front of my Speedo.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

IKEA assembly instructions should come with a glossary of Swedish swear words.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

I’m a pocket full of sunshine, not your dumping ground for grumpiness.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Threads:

I’m sorry for inventing the universe.

Trending via Twitch:

I be having full arguments in my head, then walk around mad like someone actually said something to me.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

You realize you’re getting old when your body parts start fighting over which one hurts first.

Breaking via X:

I’m having a bad day. Please send super-cute pics of your credit cards to cheer me up.

Spotted on Facebook:

“New password cannot be your old password” makes me so mad.

Making waves on YouTube:

Unfortunately, I am the first person in my family to do what they want.

Just shared via Twitch:

You’re no Sultan of Swing, buddy, you’re hardly a Governor of Groove.

Just landed via YouTube:

Not to brag, but my wife just described the dinner I made as “interesting.”

Spotted on Facebook:

Brainwashing is always considered terrible and horrible. But there are many brains that would benefit from a wash.

Going viral on Pinterest:

You know those lines you see painted on parking lots? I know this will come as a shock to some of you, but you’re supposed to park between them.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Just being myself is how we got into this mess.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If I turned into a “teen wolf”, my first order of business would definitely be helping my basketball team get to the local championships.

Why are plane tickets so expensive? You’re going that way anyway, just give me a ride.

I’m at the age where, if you ask me to go out after 9 p.m., I’m definitely not coming.

Sometimes life is “Eat, pray, love,” and sometimes it’s “Scroll, snack, overthink.”

I’m ready to try another planet.

I could be a morning person, if morning was sometime around noon.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨