Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Haggis – the meal you have to stomach twice.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

The sandwich I made for lunch didn’t even make it until 10am.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Time needs a speed limit.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

Not to be a nerd, but a well-placed semicolon is hot as hell.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Getting old is not fun. Sometimes I have to check my texts and photos when someone asks me what I did yesterday.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

When I watch hockey, I pretend they’re fighting over the last Oreo.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

What is it called when you’re smart but everything you do is freaking stupid?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,777

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

Kissing while both wearing baseball caps is so hard. How do baseball players do it?

Live now on Instagram:

Mind if I crawl into your DMs and stay there for a while?

Just shared via Messenger:

They should invent someone who holds me.

Seen just now on Slack:

Imagine a refund on all the money you spent on alcohol.

Spotted on YouTube:

If you are sad, just sing and you will realize that your voice is worse than your problem.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I love sleeping so much that it is the first thing I think about when I wake up.

Trending via YouTube:

Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.’

Kids be like, I see you have a moment to yourself, and I must correct that immediately.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah yes, the parental break alarm just went off—time to cancel relaxation mode! 🚨🤣🍼

behavior, child, child behavior, correct, humor, i, interruption, kid, kids, moment, parenting, yourself

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you don’t want to be in love with me that’s fine. You’re entitled to your wrong and very stupid opinions.

2 months ago
entitlement, fine, humor, love, me, opinion, opinions, rejection, relationship, silly, stupid, want, wrong
Siblings are proof you can love someone and also dislike them at the same time.

1 month ago
dislike, family, humor, irony, love, proof, relationships, same, siblings, someone, time
If there was a pill for procrastination… I’d probably take it tomorrow.

5 months ago
delay, humor, ID, joke, laziness, pill, procrastination, take, tomorrow
Went to the grocery store hungry. I didn’t need to pay rent this month anyway.

1 month ago
budgeting, decisions, expenses, financial, financial decisions, food, grocery, grocery store, humor, hungry, i, month, need, pay, rent, shopping, store
The question is, what will kill humanity this century? Artificial intelligence or natural stupidity?

1 month ago
artificial, artificial intelligence, century, humanity, humor, intelligence, irony, kill, natural, natural stupidity, question, stupidity
Dark mode changed me. White screens now feel like staring into the sun.

1 month ago
computer, dark, dark mode, feel, humor, me, mode, screen, screen time, screens, staring, sun, technology, time, white, white screen

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

When the job market is so bad that you’re going to follow your dreams instead.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep, not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

I don’t care if it’s cliché, I will always enjoy a ‘small town but something messed up is happening’ story.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Life is just a series of obstacles preventing you from reading your book.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

It’s hard to sleep knowing that cake is in the fridge.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

I hate when people tell me I need to “get out of my comfort zone,” like I don’t even have a comfort zone; I am literally always uncomfortable.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Of course, I also put my mobile down from time to time. For example, when someone tries to call me.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I hope this email finds you at relative peace with the paradox of existence.

Going viral on Snapchat:

People who don’t like pickles are so important because they give me their pickles.

Just landed via YouTube:

There’s a weird kind of grief that comes with late August, and I can’t explain it.

Seen just now on Telegram:

What if babies had two umbilical cords and if you cut the wrong one, it exploded?

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Why did they have to bleep out everything R2D2 said?

Spreading quickly via Slack:

All these galaxies and planets, and we ended up on the one with 40 hour work weeks.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I’m not lazy, I’m waiting for inspiration to hit me… should be here any time now.

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Activity Log ✨

Kids be like, I see you have a moment to yourself, and I must correct that immediately.

If you don’t want to be in love with me that’s fine. You’re entitled to your wrong and very stupid opinions.

Siblings are proof you can love someone and also dislike them at the same time.

If there was a pill for procrastination… I’d probably take it tomorrow.

Went to the grocery store hungry. I didn’t need to pay rent this month anyway.

The question is, what will kill humanity this century? Artificial intelligence or natural stupidity?

Dark mode changed me. White screens now feel like staring into the sun.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

If elves make shoes, cookies, and toys, why don’t we put them in charge of more stuff?

I know sacrifice. I’m willing to pluck a few extra hairs to get to the white ones.

No one is shocked when a defibrillator doesn’t work.

I walk around like everything’s fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.

I don’t know how to flirt, but you can watch me eat fresh fruit in my sundress.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

My husband clearly believes that chairs just magically push themselves back in.

Being a toddler’s favorite person is what real love actually looks like.

People who accuse me of delusions of grandeur, obviously don’t worship me enough.

“I’ll see” = not coming, never was coming, never even considered it.

I just want someone who can see through all my bullshit and hate me for who I really am.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

To whoever stole my oversized clock, you owe me big time.

Am I the only person who hates spending the night at someone’s place? Like, we can hang out until 3 a.m., but I’m still going home.

Why the hell is my laundry bin always full? I’m not even going anywhere.

Congratulations to the people who never took their Christmas decorations down. You’re almost there.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

All positions for annoying people in my life have been filled. Applicants need not apply, thank you.

My husband has entered the “fun socks” years.

Anyone who deals with customers on a professional basis should be allowed to hand out one face slap per day.

I walk around like everything’s fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.

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Kids be like, I see you have a moment to yourself, and I must correct that immediately.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If you don’t want to be in love with me that’s fine. You’re entitled to your wrong and very stupid opinions.

Siblings are proof you can love someone and also dislike them at the same time.

If there was a pill for procrastination… I’d probably take it tomorrow.

Went to the grocery store hungry. I didn’t need to pay rent this month anyway.

The question is, what will kill humanity this century? Artificial intelligence or natural stupidity?

Dark mode changed me. White screens now feel like staring into the sun.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏