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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Being the forward-thinking person I am, I kept my winter fat through the summer.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Third wheeling with two girls who are best friends is so much worse than third wheeling a couple.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

My kid tells me his toothpaste is “too spicy” but he doesn’t seem to be having any trouble with Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

If you’re gonna spend so much time in my head, would it kill you to tidy up a bit?

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Some people are like wallpaper… same pattern repeating every time.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Apple want $3,500 for their Vision Pro. No thanks. I can look like a dork for free.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

They should make a separate airport for people who know how to act like they’ve been out in public before.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

I wish I was a cat. No bills, no job, just meow, meow.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

Please congratulate me on my cool new position! It is the fetal position; I will be in it for a while.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

This too shall pass… It may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,297

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I will trust someone on Reddit from 11 years ago with my life before using ChatGPT for anything.

Going viral on Telegram:

Yes, hello, I’d like to exchange my generational trauma for generational wealth, please.

Spotted on Reddit:

I don’t have any generational wealth but I did inherit a great spaghetti sauce recipe.

Breaking via Facebook:

Some folks go to college to delay being a bum.

Trending via Facebook:

69 but we both just farting.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I invoiced my boss two extra hours for the dream I had about work last night. I’m considering that overtime.

Live now on WhatsApp:

You’re either snacking with me or snacking against me.

Seen just now on Discord:

It-is-what-it-is-ing my way through the collapse of civilization.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I hope you all get laid soon, for your own mental health.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I wonder if my bank account thinks about me and has panic attacks.

Love is not pushing them down the stairs when you have the opportunity.

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Commentary:
That's one way to prove love doesn't hurt! 😂❤️🌀

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on Pinterest this month:

The sexual tension between my tendency to do something stupid and my resolve not to.

67 shares on WeChat this month:

It’s unbelievable how much work goes into having a mid-physique and a relatively clean house.

44 shares on TikTok this month:

They monitor me harder than Britney Spears around here.

38 shares on LinkedIn this month:

A colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence. For example: Jill ate her friend’s sandwich VS Jill ate her friend’s colon.

26 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t rise and shine. I caffeinate and hope.

49 shares on Messenger this month:

To avoid burnout at work, use the 30-30 rule: after 30 minutes of work, quit your job and disappear into the mountains for 30 years.

93 shares on X this month:

“Nah.” – everyone with an office job, from the Monday after Thanksgiving until January 2nd.

32 shares on Snapchat this month:

My wife and I are going to quit our jobs and travel until we run out of money. I estimate we’ll be home around 9 p.m. tonight.

74 shares on Instagram this month:

Blocking someone isn’t enough; I need their PornHub videos to always buffer, just as they’re about to climax.

45 shares on Discord this month:

Well, that’s not very in love with me of you.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The economy’s so tough, people out here eating grass — matcha.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The point of life is going to a good restaurant and getting two cocktails with dinner. That’s it.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

“Are you getting your period?” God forbid I’m just evil.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Unfortunately, it only strengthens my spirit when the summer people mourn their terrible season.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Perhaps an evening in the meditation cage will soothe you.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Sex is cool, but have you ever found an academic article that fits your research topic perfectly and supports all of your claims?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Gonna eat birthday cake all day because it’s someone’s birthday out there, and we’re about to celebrate together, stranger.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I told all my neighbors that I have a twin, so that when I see them in public I don’t have to talk to them.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Please help my husband and I decide on dinner. We’ve narrowed it down to “It doesn’t matter” and “It’s your turn to choose”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,446

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

A guy in the parking lot saw me trip over my own feet so I yelled to him “I just quantum leaped into this body!”

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

You know it’s been a successful Thanksgiving when your clothes no longer fit.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

You’re never alone. There’s mold.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Love Island is fun, but when is Job Island on?

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

A haunted house but in every room someone is asking you to say a little something about yourself.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

I run a parody bank account.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Yesterday I really wanted tacos and now I’m eating tacos. Follow your dreams!

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

I think I just hit a Labubu with my car.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

The way Christmas shopping expects me to have money right now is, honestly, disrespectful.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

If you give me a serious answer to a silly question, I’m giving you a wedgie.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via LinkedIn:

Just blocked all the normal people, so if you see this… sup, weirdo.

Live now on X:

I mostly stopped responding to emails three years ago, and aside from various consequences, it’s been fine.

Spotted on Pinterest:

We live in a time where intelligent people are being silenced, so that stupid people won’t be offended.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Hanging out with your parents as an adult is so interesting, cause it’s like, “Oh, so that’s why I’m like this.”

Seen just now on YouTube:

Asking the waiter for her phone number and then texting her “can I have more coffee?” two minutes later.

Just shared via Telegram:

If I were you, I would rather be me.

Making waves on X:

By the way, if you don’t buy anything on Black Friday, you can save up to 100%.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I know this ain’t smart, but that never stopped me before.

Just shared via Reddit:

If I text you an accordion emoji, it means you better start acting accordingly.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Salt and pepper shakers add an air of mystique to any bathroom.

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