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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Listen to the birds, not the news.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Getting out of bed should count as resistance training.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Have your guardian angel call my guardian angel.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Cleaning out your camera roll is like the biggest chore ever.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

The word “ugly” cannot be used on women, I’m sorry. Women just can’t be ugly, that’s a boy thing.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

I tried to act normal once, worst five minutes of my life.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Crazy how every smart person recommends going for walks.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

4,010

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

Gonorrhea would’ve been a great name for diarrhea medicine.

Just landed via Discord:

Everyone’s gangster until they need to pee.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

We should put a tariff on being mean to me.

Breaking via YouTube:

Milk teeth are wasted on children. A new set of teeth would be a lot more useful when you’re older.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Take me back to the night we met so I can never give you a chance.

Live now on TikTok:

Professor: Most of you won’t pass this course. Me: Cool, so you’re like, real shitty at your job.

Spotted on WeChat:

We went out on a boat to see whales and the crew encouraged us to clap and cheer for the whales and boo at the regular fish.

Maybe Monday is more scared of us than we are of it… we don’t know.

4 months ago

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Commentary:
Running at Monday like it's a horror movie villain… plot twist: it trips as we scream and scatter! 🏃💨😱🍿

attitude, fear, humor, know, maybe, Monday, motivation, scared, us, week

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Don’t flirt with me. I’ll show up at your house and start eating all your snacks.

1 month ago
eating, flirt, house, humor, me, relationship, show, snacks, start, unexpected, unexpected visit, visit
Who called it asking the waiter about the specials and not retrieving data from the server?

1 month ago
analogy, asking, data, humor, restaurant, server, specials, tech, waiter
I hope the next time you’re stressed, it’s because you’re choosing between Japan, Bali, Switzerland, or the Maldives.

1 month ago
Bali, choice, destination, hope, i, Japan, luxury, Maldif, next, stress, Switzerland, time, travel, vacation
What you call “Brunch” I call “Breakfast for Alcoholics.”

1 month ago
alcohol, breakfast, brunch, call, humor, i
I think the bowl of ice cream I ate earlier gave me a stomach ache, so I ate a another bowl to make sure.

1 month ago
ache, another, bowl, cream, dessert, eating, eating habits, food, food logic, habits, humor, i, ice, ice cream, indulgence, logic, me, stomach, stomach ache, sure, think
My favorite yoga pose is the one where you eat a sandwich.

1 month ago
activity, eat, favorite, food, humor, pose, sandwich, where, yoga

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

“I’m not even close to how crazy I’m legally entitled to be.”

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Stop animal testing! Use my ex!

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren’t happy.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

I changed my Facebook name to “Benefits.” Now, when people add me, it says, “You are now friends with benefits.”

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

My son was praying for “everybody in the world.” If you suddenly start experiencing good fortune, you’re welcome.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

I put my music on shuffle then get mad when it doesn’t play the song I want.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

The most important thing to remember when driving is that not everyone is smart.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

My kids will never appreciate the amount of extroverting the introvert me does for them.

Breaking via YouTube:

By now, we’ve all figured out that these LED bulbs don’t actually last 15 years, but we’ve collectively decided to just let it slide.

Breaking via YouTube:

I try to find the good in every situation. Wait, no – that was a typo. Food. I try to find the food in every situation.

Spotted on TikTok:

The lion can’t keep living like this.

Going viral on X:

“The Nightmare Before Christmas” just means, January 1st – December 24th.

Just shared via Slack:

Sunsets and women are undoubtedly God’s best creations.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

The most romantic minds of our time are being subjected to situationships.

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Activity Log ✨

Maybe Monday is more scared of us than we are of it… we don’t know.

Don’t flirt with me. I’ll show up at your house and start eating all your snacks.

Who called it asking the waiter about the specials and not retrieving data from the server?

I hope the next time you’re stressed, it’s because you’re choosing between Japan, Bali, Switzerland, or the Maldives.

What you call “Brunch” I call “Breakfast for Alcoholics.”

I think the bowl of ice cream I ate earlier gave me a stomach ache, so I ate a another bowl to make sure.

My favorite yoga pose is the one where you eat a sandwich.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Parenting is yelling ‘you just had a snack!’ over and over until you give in and throw them another snack.

When I trip, I always look back to see who or what did it, because it couldn’t have possibly been my fault.

Parents be like, “I gave you everything I had,” and by everything, they meant the collector’s edition boxed set of mental illness.

‘Another bombshell has entered the villa!’ I say to myself as I walk in the front door of my own home.

If I got a Dollar for every time I thought about you, I would start thinking about you.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

It’s scary when an attractive person is attracted to you, omg.

I’m at an age where I don’t have to go anywhere and I still have jet lag.

Do you think protein wants to be in all these things?

Starting to think business is standing on me.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I’m glad cars were invented. Imagine riding a horse at 3 a.m., coming back from the club.

Seen an ambulance at the hospital. I hope the doctors are okay.

Unlike men, women would immediately admit their mistakes if they had any.

Hello, I’m looking for the people who said “I’ll always be there for you”. Has anyone seen them?

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

You sound smart. You some kinda ‘ologist?

“But it’s summer,” is going to be my excuse for everything from now until the end of September.

LinkedIn: where you desperately hope that one idiot you had a drink with six years ago can somehow help get you a job.

Why can’t I explore the dentist’s mouth too?

Divorce is so weird. Why do I have an ex-aunt?

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Maybe Monday is more scared of us than we are of it… we don’t know.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Don’t flirt with me. I’ll show up at your house and start eating all your snacks.

Who called it asking the waiter about the specials and not retrieving data from the server?

I hope the next time you’re stressed, it’s because you’re choosing between Japan, Bali, Switzerland, or the Maldives.

What you call “Brunch” I call “Breakfast for Alcoholics.”

I think the bowl of ice cream I ate earlier gave me a stomach ache, so I ate a another bowl to make sure.

My favorite yoga pose is the one where you eat a sandwich.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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