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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

The guy who drills the holes so you can assemble IKEA furniture is clearly having problems at home.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

On a dare, my son sprayed deodorant in his mouth. Now he speaks with an Axe scent.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

When you see a squirrel, you’re bound to say, “Awww, a squirrel!”

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Life would be so much easier if the nose of people who lie all the time did actually grow longer like Pinocchio’s.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

If you see me sad, just hug me and put some money in my pocket.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

It’s easy to keep me happy: feed me sunshine in summer — and keep me warm in winter.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Post beach shower is undefeated. Greatest feeling a human could experience. Throw a nap in there, and you will never touch serenity so close.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Called off work. Feeling fat and wearing jeans.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Netflix be like “we know exactly what movie you talkin’ ’bout but we ain’t got it lol”.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

My phone storage is full so I guess it’s time to delete the 27 second video I took of a spiderweb four years ago.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,663

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

White guys have a slur for other white guys they don’t respect, it’s called ‘buddy.’

Shared recently on Twitch:

I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance: waiting for the bathroom.

Making waves on TikTok:

I hate when someone you love says mean things like, “It’s time to wake up.”

Freshly posted on Threads:

I’m not accepting the bare minimum; I need you to shake it to the max.

Live now on TikTok:

Even wild things have slow mornings.

Trending via YouTube:

Going to have a hobbit boi summer (throw a huge birthday party for myself, then mysteriously vanish right after insulting everyone).

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

“Do you like the Microsoft Teams app?” Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Spotted on Slack:

Just washed my windows and not a single bloke came out and said ‘You can do mine next!’ This used to be a real country.

Broadcasted on Threads:

I really don’t care what happens to me romantically anymore.

Making waves on TikTok:

“You’re at the age where both 1990 and 2003 are flirting with you.”

Millennials are just 30-40-year-olds who look 20-30 years old and feel 80-90 years old.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Millennials: the ultimate time travelers, living like spring chickens but creaking like old doors! 😂🕰️🚪"

2030, age, age difference, appearance, difference, feel, feeling, humor, just, millennials, old

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Babe, wanna come over and watch me apply for jobs on Indeed until I start to cry.

0

2 months ago

applying, applying for job, babe, cry, crying, date, frustration, humor, i, Indeed, job, job search, jobs, me, over, relationship, search, start, watch
Channeling my inner pretzel to achieve expert-level bad posture.

0

6 months ago

bad, body, flexibility, humor, inner, joke, posture, pretzel, self-deprecation
Skin coloured leggings should be illegal.

0

2 months ago

clothing, colour, fashion, humor, illegal, joke, leggings, should, skin, skin colour, style
When people don’t drink coffee, it’s like, okay, but how do you solve the problem of being awake?

0

2 months ago

awake, being, caffeine, coffee, drink, everyday, everyday struggle, humor, humor quote, okay, people, problem, solve, struggle, wakefulness
Relationship status: We have changed from “I love you” to “I love YouTube”.

0

2 months ago

change, humor, i, love, relationship, status, YouTube
Her: how are you still single? Me: it’s easier than you think.

0

2 months ago

conversation, dating, easier, fun, humor, me, relationship, single, still, think

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on Slack this month:

A fly swatter, but for close talkers.

25 shares on Pinterest this month:

The sun is so successful because it has the perfect bedtime and morning routines.

29 shares on Discord this month:

Don’t break someone’s heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206 of them.

42 shares on Twitch this month:

I mostly keep friendships going because they have my good Tupperware.

50 shares on Discord this month:

One week without chocolate. I can no longer hear anything in my left eye.

96 shares on Pinterest this month:

People who work in customer service should be allowed to fight one customer a day. Two on Fridays.

63 shares on Facebook this month:

Remember when tweets were like: party rocking with a mouse tonight. Piece of cheese gonna have a big bite.

32 shares on Threads this month:

I caught your husband cheating on you at an Alanis concert, and thought you, you, you oughta know.

75 shares on Instagram this month:

A foghorn but for people who can’t see through their own bullshit.

47 shares on WeChat this month:

My phone storage is full so I guess it’s time to delete the 27 second video I took of a spiderweb four years ago.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

I had a hard time coping with the divorce. I’m fine now, but at first I was almost crazy with joy.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Went to the toilet today without my cell phone. There are 245 tiles.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

No one talks about how uncomfortable it is to ask for your own money back.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

My guardian angel is taking the longest smoking break in recorded history.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

I love reaching into my messy bag looking for something and everyone around me hears like glass breaking and bombs going off and a cat meowing from inside there.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Being abducted by aliens could be just the vacation I need right now.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

I be like, “I needed this,” and it’s just me getting drunk.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Social anxiety so bad I wonder if I’m welcome at places I was invited to.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

When life gives you lemons maybe think to yourself, “that’s really quite remarkable given how far I live from a climate capable of growing citrus.”

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

A designated hitter in baseball is the one who has to hit for everyone in case the team is drunk.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

Opening up is like talking to a cop: anything you say can and will be used against you.

Live now on Reddit:

Putting away the Christmas tree. Sad day for cats.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

We should make a new internet that’s as hard to use as the old internet was, so anyone that’s too stupid to have used the internet 20 years ago can’t get on it.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Me: This is my favorite. I would like to buy this exact same item of clothing again. The fashion industry: No.

Seen just now on Instagram:

My brain says “Let’s do something exciting today” but my body says “Don’t listen to that fool.”

Making waves on YouTube:

How do I even know this guy is my “boss”? I’ve just been taking his word for it.

Trending via Pinterest:

I like to establish dominance by yawning the minute someone tries to make small talk with me.

Just landed via Threads:

The art of letting whoever think whatever.

Going bananas on WeChat:

When I’m done eating… I have to show my hands to my cat, like I’m a blackjack dealer.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I’m not an idiot anymore, universe, please stop with the lessons.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Millennials are just 30-40-year-olds who look 20-30 years old and feel 80-90 years old.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Babe, wanna come over and watch me apply for jobs on Indeed until I start to cry.

Channeling my inner pretzel to achieve expert-level bad posture.

Skin coloured leggings should be illegal.

When people don’t drink coffee, it’s like, okay, but how do you solve the problem of being awake?

Relationship status: We have changed from “I love you” to “I love YouTube”.

Her: how are you still single? Me: it’s easier than you think.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨