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Commentary:
"Attempting the intricate steps of the 'Avoiding Self-Sabotage Shuffle' like a pro! 💃🕺 Who needs salsa or tango when you've mastered the art of dodging your own obstacles? 😅 #DanceMoves #SelfAwareness"

activity, dance, dance move, favorite, getting, getting out, humor, move, own, self, trying

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The holidays may be over by my work ethic is still out of the office.

1 month ago

ethic, holiday, holidays, humor, motivation, office, over, procrastination, still, vacation, work, work ethic
Person in murder documentary: This is a small town. Things like this don’t happen here. Me: Um, based on the shows I watch, that’s all that happens in small towns.

1 month ago

documentary, here, humor, i, irony, me, murder, person, shows, small, small town, things, town, watch
Meteorologists are always talking about the weather and hardly ever about meteors.

1 month ago

always, communication, ever, humor, irony, meteor, meteorologist, meteorologists, observation, talking, weather
Welcome to adulthood. You have a favorite gas station now.

1 month ago

adulthood, favorite, funny observation, gas, gas station, humor, life, life transition, observation, responsibility, station, transition, welcome
I miss being a kid. Nobody asks what my favorite dinosaur is anymore.

1 month ago

age, being, childhood, childhood memory, dinosaur, favorite, fun, humor, i, kid, memory, miss, nobody, nostalgia
I purposely overcook my holiday turkeys so I don’t have to hear anyone at the table say, “moist.”

1 month ago

cooking, family, food, hear, holiday, humor, i, moist, overcook, say, table, turkey

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

“I’m sure it’ll turn up” – Translation: I’m bored of helping you look.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Weird. I’m the only one naked at this gender reveal party.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

I’m an atheist, so if you send prayers, I’ll send thoughts.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

I highly recommend having hobbies, it distracts you from falling in love unnecessarily.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Sorry to any bands who see me yawn during their show. It’s not you, it’s just past 10pm.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Why does the dentist have to take an x-ray of my teeth? They right there, bro!

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

If the line at the grocery store takes longer than 10 minutes, the candy beside the checkout should be free.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Twitch:

I’m so jealous of people who live near a coastal area. What do you mean you can just go to the beach on a random Tuesday?

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Sex is cool but have you ever had your bed all to yourself.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Notice how ghosts never wear fitted sheets?

Making waves on Reddit:

Humidity is great because then people think it’s not my fault that my hair looks like this.

Trending via TikTok:

December. The month at work where everything is January’s problem.

Trending via Discord:

Zelda was easier as a kid because if you hit a hard puzzle, you could just wait a few days for more brain matter to come in, but now it’s the opposite.

Trending via Discord:

Congress taking an entire month off in a country where most people don’t get more than 2 weeks’ vacation is awesome.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My favorite dance move is trying to get out of my own way.

The holidays may be over by my work ethic is still out of the office.

Person in murder documentary: This is a small town. Things like this don’t happen here. Me: Um, based on the shows I watch, that’s all that happens in small towns.

Meteorologists are always talking about the weather and hardly ever about meteors.

Welcome to adulthood. You have a favorite gas station now.

I miss being a kid. Nobody asks what my favorite dinosaur is anymore.

I purposely overcook my holiday turkeys so I don’t have to hear anyone at the table say, “moist.”

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Got my dog microchipped, so if he runs away, I can just press a button, and he’ll explode.

So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn’t for throwing at people who stress you out?

Everyone is always talking about raising money for dogs without homes, but what about the ones who don’t have cars?

Roses are red, violets are blue, sunflowers are yellow. I bet you were expecting something romantic, but no, this is just gardening facts.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a few minutes.

Bro, did you seriously just forget about Dre?

As you get older, it’s amazing how fast bird-watching creeps up on you…

How is this the same brain that used to remember everybody’s phone numbers?

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Wake me when AI does housework.

I put my pants on just like everybody else: when the police tell me to.

“Hope this email finds you doing well!” The email found me, therefore I am unwell.

Ever notice how many towns are named after their water tower?

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Here’s to a new year of making the same old mistakes, but with far more enthusiasm.

I am not living la vida loca. I am loca because of la vida.

Old people get so mad when you’re young and tired.

A toddler in their “why” phase makes you realize how little you know.

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Activity Log ✨

My favorite dance move is trying to get out of my own way.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The holidays may be over by my work ethic is still out of the office.

Person in murder documentary: This is a small town. Things like this don’t happen here. Me: Um, based on the shows I watch, that’s all that happens in small towns.

Meteorologists are always talking about the weather and hardly ever about meteors.

Welcome to adulthood. You have a favorite gas station now.

I miss being a kid. Nobody asks what my favorite dinosaur is anymore.

I purposely overcook my holiday turkeys so I don’t have to hear anyone at the table say, “moist.”

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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