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Commentary:
"Attempting the intricate steps of the 'Avoiding Self-Sabotage Shuffle' like a pro! 💃🕺 Who needs salsa or tango when you've mastered the art of dodging your own obstacles? 😅 #DanceMoves #SelfAwareness"

activity, dance, dance move, favorite, getting, getting out, humor, move, own, self, trying

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Shrimp: “When I grow up, I want to be food waste at a gala.”

2 months ago

anthropomorphism, dinner, event, food, food waste, gala, grow, humor, i, satire, shrimp, want, waste
People should be able to call in healthy: “Look, I’m not coming into the office today. I feel really good and I don’t want to waste it on being at work.“

2 months ago

able, being, call, coming, feel, feel good, good, healthy, humor, i, office, people, productivity, should, time, time off, today, want, waste, work
Stop using ChatGPT. You got a question, you come to me first.

2 months ago

advice, ChatGPT, communication, conversation, humor, me, question, stop, tech
This wouldn’t happen to me if I were a huge dragon.

4 months ago

creature, dragon, fantasy, happen, huge, humor, i, me, mythical, mythical creature, thinking, wishful, wishful thinking
I’m doing a terrific job of not getting anything done today.

2 months ago

anything, doing, done, getting, humor, job, laziness, motivation, procrastination, productivity, today, work
If ever go missing, please only put pictures of me on the news where I look skinny and hot even if that means they won’t find me.

3 months ago

ever, hot, i, me, means, missing, news, pictures, put, skinny

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on Telegram this month:

Imagine the sound a centipede would make if they wore tiny flip flops.

58 shares on Messenger this month:

In retrospect, I guess “one drunken night of stupidity” isn’t the best response when a child asks you where babies come from.

54 shares on Slack this month:

Me, to the printer: “Hey, could you print this out for me?” Printer: “Sure, but first I’ll show you all the sounds I can make.”

59 shares on YouTube this month:

Booked an escape room but just to get away from everyone. No plans of escaping.

24 shares on X this month:

I haven’t tried Yoga, but I bent over to pick up my keys off the floor, so I’m sure I wouldn’t like Yoga.

84 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you don’t like sports, you are missing a whole world of easy-going conversations with complete strangers.

35 shares on Facebook this month:

It’s not sleeping alone if there are crumbs in your bed.

35 shares on WeChat this month:

Everyone wants the bagel to be everything, but no one asks if the bagel needs anything.

23 shares on Pinterest this month:

I wish I had a friend like me.

64 shares on Instagram this month:

It’s so much easier to suggest solutions when you don’t know too much about the problem.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Walking on egg shells? In this economy?

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

I’ve tasted being employed, and I’ve tasted being unemployed. I recommend not being born.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

It must be hard for a vampire to floss their fangs when they can’t see their reflection in a mirror.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Being a serial killer is much like being a comedian, in that you either hit it big and get your own Netflix special, or you spend eternity popping up on shitty podcasts.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

The week be like Mooonnnday, Tueeesday, Weeeeednesday, Thuuuuursday, FriSatSun

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

That odd feeling when your lunch break is over and you still have to work for another 30 years.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Ugh, but profoundly.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

When I like a woman, I start to gather gifts for her like a squirrel hoarding nuts.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

How do I become a billionaire by 9 a.m. Monday? Please, it’s urgent.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Professor, set the time machine for right now. I’m trying to be more present.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

ChatGPT’s primary use is to generate plausible excuses to leave dinner at the in-laws’.

Seen just now on Slack:

Laugh all you want. My Encyclopedia Britannica set will never require WiFi.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

If I don’t reply, assume I opened your message, nodded, and then got distracted.

Just landed via Pinterest:

My favourite thing about waking up at ridiculous o’clock is the solitude.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I’m liking your IG photo from 8 days ago because IG just showed me today!

Just shared via X:

If one door opens when another door closes, your house is probably haunted.

Shared recently on Threads:

Just drafted the drunk text I’m going to send after one drink this weekend.

Spotted on WeChat:

3 friends is enough. 1 for the movie theater, 1 for drinks and apps, 1 for texting concerning mental health information.

Just landed via Discord:

Not to brag, but I just stood up without making a sound. Don’t be jealous.

Going viral on Slack:

Welcome to your 40s, where the hair shows up uninvited and looks pissed to be here.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My favorite dance move is trying to get out of my own way.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Shrimp: “When I grow up, I want to be food waste at a gala.”

People should be able to call in healthy: “Look, I’m not coming into the office today. I feel really good and I don’t want to waste it on being at work.“

Stop using ChatGPT. You got a question, you come to me first.

This wouldn’t happen to me if I were a huge dragon.

I’m doing a terrific job of not getting anything done today.

If ever go missing, please only put pictures of me on the news where I look skinny and hot even if that means they won’t find me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨