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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

The best part about your kids being sick is you get to see exactly how shitty you’re going to feel in 48 hours.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Enjoy the time between diapers!

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Guy smoking weed daily: “I think smoking weed in moderation is fine.”

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

I might not be able to speak another language but I can speak English slower!

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Explaining myself is too much work. Please just judge me.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

I can feel your energy from two planets away.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Women’s fall fashion is basically coming up with ways to wear a blanket without it looking like you’re wearing a blanket.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

If you’re partying with your cousin and you’re asked if you’re related, “Our parents are siblings” will cause a lot of confusion.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

According to the BMI chart, I am too short.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

I fondly remember my days as a younger man when I didn’t care what the weather was going to do.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,372

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

No camera can do justice to a landscape that melts your heart.

Live now on TikTok:

TMZ will find out you’re dead before you do.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Roses are red, violets are blue. When I listen to rock music, my neighbors do too.

Seen just now on YouTube:

The moment when I drop my phone, but my fast reflexes slam it into a bloody wall.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Driving behind a salt truck on a snowy day is a Midwest police escort.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

That incredible ability of cats to only throw up on carpeted floors.

Just shared via YouTube:

To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.

Trending via Discord:

Half princess, half menace.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Is he trying to pronounce “charcuterie” or is he having a stroke?

Live now on WhatsApp:

I pretend I don’t care about stuff, but that’s only because I have no idea what’s going on around me at any given time.

My favorite dance move is trying to get out of my own way.

Witty quote about self-improvement, humorously highlighting struggle with personal growth.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Attempting the intricate steps of the 'Avoiding Self-Sabotage Shuffle' like a pro! 💃🕺 Who needs salsa or tango when you've mastered the art of dodging your own obstacles? 😅 #DanceMoves #SelfAwareness"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

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Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on Pinterest this month:

Who are these people that buy unsalted butter on purpose?

30 shares on Discord this month:

Went to the toilet today without my cell phone. There are 245 tiles.

49 shares on Facebook this month:

Not being filthy rich is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

50 shares on X this month:

Just blocked everyone who is not in my gang so if you’re reading this, we’re robbing a bank in 12 minutes.

85 shares on Threads this month:

Totally unrealistic movie title: “The Postman Always Rings Twice”. We all know that these guys only ring once and then leave.

90 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I composed this post in a way that only the sexy can read it, so congratulations.

52 shares on TikTok this month:

We decided to have money instead of children.

11 shares on X this month:

I dunno how to flirt but I can insult you so nicely.

14 shares on Telegram this month:

First responders? You mean reply guys?

39 shares on Threads this month:

Imagine you’re on jury duty and the courtroom sketch artist draws stink lines above you.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Every weekend has two days: Saturday and It’s Monday Tomorrow.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes all you need is a Saturday to sleep, eat, and do absolutely nothing else all day.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The tragedy of my life is that I theoretically know when I shouldn’t say anything. And then I hear myself talking.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I want a restraining order on everyone who doesn’t wear deodorant.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Most divorces are caused by a spouse eating potato chips while you try to watch TV.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I love you to the refrigerator and back.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

When you say “You’re going to hate me for this,” you’re making a very large assumption that I don’t hate you already.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

An orgy where everyone looks identical is called a doppelgängerbänger.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The lion does not concern himself at all. The lion is depressed.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting mad when an app updates and changes their format is the new “rearranged grocery store” for me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,335

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

Wishing I could hit snooze on life’s alarm clock!

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

I was 21 when I was 15, that’s why everything’s boring now.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

I may be sensitive, but everyone else could be a little kinder, too.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Rom-com idea: Gozilla +1. Godzilla gets invited to a wedding but struggles to convince anyone to go with him.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

While a leaf blower is a close second, my preferred cleaner is a flamethrower.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

I can’t be bothered with people that can’t be bothered.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

And is this “year-end bonus” in the room with us right now?

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but that much caffeine can’t be good for you.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

You can’t have a bad day at work if you don’t go.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Crossing my fingers one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Seems like being an asshole is a full-time job for some.

Spotted on WeChat:

I swear the air gets heavier around 6 p.m. on Sundays. You can feel the Microsoft Teams energy approaching.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Unfortunately most of my sex noises come from trying to get out of bed.

Going viral on Slack:

I hate small cars that disguise themselves as free parking spaces and drop their masks as soon as you pull up in front of them.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Unfortunately, the movie you want to watch is unavailable on your 13 streaming services. You can rent it for $2.99 though.

Spotted on Threads:

Concert tickets should be 75% off if the artist is really super special to you.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I wonder how biology explains that pain in your chest you get when you found out your partner cheated on you.

Seen just now on Instagram:

There’s no sadder tableau in all of humanity than the smoker’s terrarium at the airport.

Seen just now on Twitch:

If camera lenses are round, why are the pictures square?

Just shared via Twitch:

Today, I started a 28-day no-swearing challenge, which I will restart tomorrow.

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