Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Everyone says “Do what makes you happy”, until you push them down the stairs.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

I love Pinterest. No opinions. No bad vibes. Just pretty pictures.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

I’m writing a fairytale about a printer that just works.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Every year I realize how dumb I was a year ago.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

I love being home and doing absolutely nothing and never contributing to society.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Why the hell is it called the restroom? I am fighting for my life in here.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for cauliflower cookies and reported them for harmful content.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

This chapter of my life is called ‘at least the rent is paid’

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Country music is for men who need a little help crying.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

I bet being full feels so good for the moon.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,411

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Ping me if your boobs glow in the dark.

Trending via Facebook:

Wait, some of you are actually seeing for free? No glasses, no contacts? Wow!

Making waves on YouTube:

I remember when I was broke… I’m still broke, that’s why I remember so well.

Shared recently on Discord:

That awkward moment when someone gets angry at you for clicking a pen, but you have to click it one more time to use it.

Making waves on X:

Look, babe, I’m sorry. If your fake British accent keeps being this geographically inconsistent, I’m going to have to cancel the medieval roleplay sex.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Every single morning, I have to get out of bed and do things, and it’s bullshit.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Taking Adderall before going to lay on the beach so I can focus more on having a good time.

Trending via Telegram:

I deserve a percentage of your pay if you ever stole any swag from me.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Plot Twist: Your taxes cheated on you.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I’m glad the makers removed all the unnecessary sex scenes from my life, so I can focus on character development.

My kids want to know what’s for dinner, like they’re going to be happy with the answer.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess it's another night of "Not pizza again!" 🙄🍕

answer, dinner, family, going, happy, humor, kid, kids, know, mealtime, parenting, question, sarcasm, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m delusional but self-aware, I call that Delaware.

0

2 months ago

call, clever, clever wordplay, Delaware, delusional, humor, i, identity, self-aware, wordplay
Yes officer, I’d like to file a restraining order against my dentist’s appointment reminder system.

0

2 months ago

appointment, dentist, humor, ID, officer, order, reminder, restraining, restraining order, sarcasm, system, yes
Shoutout to my kids because they aren’t listening!

0

2 months ago

family, fun, humor, kids, listening, parenting, shoutout
Telling men I have a boyfriend doesn’t chase them away anymore, so I’ve started telling them I have a child.

0

5 months ago

away, boyfriend, chase, child, dating, flirting, humor, i, men, rejection, relationship, started, telling
I relate to a rooster because I also want start off my day by screaming.

0

2 months ago

day, humor, i, morning, relate, rooster, screaming, start, want
I’m so glad when summer is over and I finally don’t have to see any feet on the internet anymore.

0

2 months ago

feet, glad, humor, i, internet, over, preference, seasonal, summer

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on Facebook this month:

I just need a day between everyday… to recover from the day before… just so I can prepare for the day coming.

45 shares on Telegram this month:

I can’t work under these festive conditions.

59 shares on Discord this month:

Hello, my voicemail is currently unavailable. To leave a message please speak slowly and clearly into the nearest toaster.

68 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m blunt because the universe rolled me that way.

54 shares on TikTok this month:

Your secrets are safe with me. I wasn’t even listening.

68 shares on Slack this month:

Chugging a woman’s entire drink at the bar and then saying “you’re safe, there is nothing in your drink.”

80 shares on Slack this month:

I’m so broke, I owe myself money.

84 shares on Threads this month:

One thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m dumb.

57 shares on X this month:

A service where you bring a working printer to my house, I print the one thing I need, and you leave again until next year.

59 shares on Discord this month:

I have now learned the moonwalk. It’s visually the coolest way to get fresh dog poop off the soles of your shoes.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

I don’t know why “you made your bed now lie in it” is a bad thing. It sounds great! I’ll even lie in a bed I didn’t make.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Pretty sure the best place to hide a dead body is in a new tab you opened to read later.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

The only hot singles in my area are in my wallet.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

My boss told me “It’s not rocket science.” Yeah, almost everything that exists is not rocket science.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Our childhood photos might be ugly but those smiles were definitely not fake.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Why can’t my career pursue me instead?

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

I love all mythical creatures. Vampires, werewolves, unicorns, kids who listen.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

The police said I was a ‘suspect’, but I prefer being called a ‘person of interest’.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

In banana years, I am bread.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

My husband thinks he can just order me around like he’s one of the cats.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

I want whatever the people who run at 6 a.m. have.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

If a portal opened up in front of me, I’d go in—no questions asked.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

ChatGPT is there for me in ways I don’t think any man ever could be.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I’m having an orange, and the dogs keep looking at me like, “stop eating that ball, dude.”

Just landed via Telegram:

I can’t wait to see my older sister so she can point out I have more gray hair than she does.

Just shared via Instagram:

I wonder how many new moms try to pick out a unique name for their baby only to later learn it’s the name of an antidepressant.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I love how we didn’t raise the minimum wage because it would make food more expensive, but then just made the food more expensive anyway.

Just landed via YouTube:

The Jaws theme stays on during sex.

Just landed via Twitch:

“You handled that with such grace” are words that have never been spoken to me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My kids want to know what’s for dinner, like they’re going to be happy with the answer.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’m delusional but self-aware, I call that Delaware.

Yes officer, I’d like to file a restraining order against my dentist’s appointment reminder system.

Shoutout to my kids because they aren’t listening!

Telling men I have a boyfriend doesn’t chase them away anymore, so I’ve started telling them I have a child.

I relate to a rooster because I also want start off my day by screaming.

I’m so glad when summer is over and I finally don’t have to see any feet on the internet anymore.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨