Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Shoutout to everyone who remembers their childhood landline number but can’t recall the password they made yesterday. You’re my people.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Establish dominance at work by drinking iced tea in a wine glass.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Zombies only eat brains, so you are safe.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

I’m old enough to remember when rainbows were in black and white.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Sorry, I would love to, but I just made a bunch of rules for myself, and I’m actually not allowed to do that.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Frodo is a beautiful name for a boy. Has a ring to it.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

It’s the weekend, so naturally, I’m going to spend 48 hours doing nothing, and still be exhausted.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Being shy is so annoying. Why is my chest hurting me, because I need to speak in public?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,630

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

The answer is always no, I did not get enough sleep.

Going viral on Telegram:

The great thing about playing the trombone is no one knows if you’re good at it or not.

My step counter doesn’t judge. For him, steps to the fridge are just as valuable as a walk.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Step counter: the non-judgmental companion we all need 🚶‍♂️🚪🍔 Walking to the fridge *is* a cardio workout after all, right? 😄"

activity, counter, fitness, fridge, humor, judge, just, step, step counter, steps, value, walk

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Apparently, I’m not even going through a lot; I just need money.

0

3 months ago

apparently, even, finance, financial, financial problem, going, humor, i, issue, just, life, life struggle, lot, money, money issue, need, personal, personal finance, problem, struggle, through
Perhaps moths don’t seek the light, but are simply fleeing the darkness.

0

6 months ago

darkness, humor, light, metaphor, moth, perspective, seek, simply
Caught my husband staring at me again. He’s probably weighing his pros and cons.

0

2 months ago

again, caught, cons, humor, husband, me, observation, pros, relationship, staring
You’d think the thing in my house with the most cat hair on it would be my cat.

0

2 months ago

cat, hair, house, humor, pet, thing, think
I can resist everything except temptation.

0

2 months ago

everything, humor, i, irony, resistance, self-control, temptation
Seeking a date so intense even the candles are sweating.

0

2 months ago

candles, date, even, fire, heat, humor, intense, intensity, passion, romantic, seeking, sweating

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on Discord this month:

When I was a kid there were two sure ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

26 shares on TikTok this month:

There comes a time in everyone’s life when you hear the newest slang, and you decide that you don’t care enough to know what it means.

25 shares on Facebook this month:

Welcome to your 40s: here’s an extra chin.

15 shares on Telegram this month:

Here I am, block me like a hurricane.

20 shares on Telegram this month:

The only exercise I’ve done this month is running… out of money!

54 shares on WeChat this month:

I want time to watch more films, but I also want time to read more books, but I also want time to look at more nothing.

37 shares on Telegram this month:

I still make time for all my favorite hobbies, like drinking, swearing, and making people feel uncomfortable.

78 shares on Messenger this month:

I fear one day I’ll see one of my posts marked as an “Exhibit A”

92 shares on Slack this month:

Behold the majestic elephant in its natural habitat, the room.

73 shares on Snapchat this month:

For the record, I use a turntable.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Unfortunately, you have to almost worship the ground I walk on for me to believe you’re into me.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

For Valentine’s Day, I’m gift-wrapping a shirt my husband hasn’t worn in years. It’s the thought that counts—and technically, I thought of it twice.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Red Bull doesn’t give me wings, it gives me gas.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Time to get off the internet, I’ve already had enough stupid for the week.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Remember: The first step to recovery is addiction.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

There should be a tented fingers emoji. For when you’re feeling ruminative.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

I will not hesitate to use dark magic on you.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Haircuts should be covered by healthcare.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Used shampoo containing caffeine. My hair is already on its way to work.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

As a wife and mother my hobbies include rage cleaning, rage cooking, and rage folding.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

Imagining how cathartic it must feel to send forth thousands and thousands of bats from your Transylvanian manor.

Spotted on Messenger:

Lovingly looking at my dog knowing I’m about to ruin her day with a bath.

Spotted on Instagram:

I wish other jobs let us solve issues by releasing diss tracks. Got some sick rhymes about Debbie from accounting and her poorly structured invoicing.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I don’t even know what I’d do if a sailor called me a landlubber. I’d probably lose my cool.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Me passing someone: you slow mule! Me being passed: okay, speed racer!

Shared recently on Slack:

My hobbies include going home, wishing I was at home, and being at home.

Breaking via Telegram:

My burning question is who thought a two day weekend would suffice the human body.

Live now on Snapchat:

I won’t be accepting any parcels for the neighbors in December this year. Last year it was all junk.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Jurassic Park came out decades ago, and now I feel like a fossil.

Shared recently on Slack:

Having a job ruined my life.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My step counter doesn’t judge. For him, steps to the fridge are just as valuable as a walk.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Apparently, I’m not even going through a lot; I just need money.

Perhaps moths don’t seek the light, but are simply fleeing the darkness.

Caught my husband staring at me again. He’s probably weighing his pros and cons.

You’d think the thing in my house with the most cat hair on it would be my cat.

I can resist everything except temptation.

Seeking a date so intense even the candles are sweating.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨