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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Lady on the streets, Cheeto crumbs in my sheets.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Bringing a fitted sheet to a knife fight.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

I was actually about to do a workout when the couch threw itself protectively under me.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

I have an addiction to pattern recognition.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

It’s Monday, but at what cost?

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Unlike men, women would immediately admit their mistakes if they had any.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Do you know how much effort goes into looking this regular?

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up, we had to manually roll up our car windows.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

I’m sorry your man wears his sunglasses on the back of his head.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

I have tasted sending long paragraphs, and I have tasted saying OK. I highly recommend saying OK.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,679

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Messenger:

In marriage, whoever has the cooler last name gets to continue their legacy. Reject tradition.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Being a people pleaser that no one is pleased with is the main cause of my anxiety.

Trending via Reddit:

Being an iPad baby must be so exciting. Imagine going from nine dull months in the womb to playing Candy Crush.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I’m forced to conclude that not liking my posts is a you problem.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

If you only watched reality TV dating shows, you would probably estimate the number of people who work in medical device sales in the United States to be approximately 80,000,000.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Have y’all tried calories? They’re so good.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Calling women “bro” to make sure they know they’re in the deepest trenches of the friend zone.

Making waves on TikTok:

Does anyone want to fall in love and split rent with me?

Just landed via Instagram:

You have to be careful about sending your spouse things on social media. You send too many things, next thing you know chores are being redistributed because of “all the free time you clearly have”.

Breaking via TikTok:

Stop checking up on your friends, and check up on me.

My step counter doesn’t judge. For him, steps to the fridge are just as valuable as a walk.

0
My step counter doesn’t judge. For him, steps to the fridge are just as valuable as a walk.
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Commentary:
"Step counter: the non-judgmental companion we all need 🚶‍♂️🚪🍔 Walking to the fridge *is* a cardio workout after all, right? 😄"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on Snapchat this month:

Maybe Baby wants to be put in the corner.

75 shares on Discord this month:

If I like you I keep you close, if not I keep you at a distance so I can mime squishing your head between my thumb and forefinger.

40 shares on Twitch this month:

Of all the ways to be miserable, marriage is the most expensive.

58 shares on Facebook this month:

Tried to sleep by reading a boring book and now it’s suddenly the most interesting book.

33 shares on Threads this month:

Wanted to update everybody on my diet. I’ve decided it’s okay to be fat.

83 shares on Instagram this month:

You can tell a lot about someone by the stuff you make up in your head about them.

81 shares on TikTok this month:

If I climbed all the way to the top of Mount Everest and looked up, then I’d finally see the top of our family’s weekly laundry pile.

66 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My boyfriend moved in with me straight from Hotel Mama. In a way, I’m now a single parent.

28 shares on Slack this month:

I can’t believe we became the adults in the most unaffordable period in history.

81 shares on Instagram this month:

Are cassette tapes considered classical music yet?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I unload the dishwasher backwards… just to feel something.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My husband is the do-it-yourself type. I asked him to take out the garbage and he said, “do it yourself.”

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m thinking stuff like “yeah” and also stuff like “yup.”

7 folks are currently checking 👀

When you think about it, Jesus really accomplished a lot in the four months between Christmas and Easter.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

A lot of childhood characters weren’t so much beloved as there wasn’t anything else on the TV.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Super excited about a brand new week of hanging on by a thread.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s difficult to play hard to get when I’m already hard to want.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

“We will go ahead and make these changes if we don’t hear from you before Friday” is such an elegant way to solve problems.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t be sad, laundry, nobody’s doing me either.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Life is a highway: Too many cars, not enough bathrooms.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,617

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

My youngest had a mandatory drugs and alcohol lecture today at school, and he still can’t mix a proper drink.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Needs to be a Google Maps setting where you can ask them not to make you take a left across four lanes of oncoming traffic.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

I don’t jump to conclusions, I cannonball into them like a boss.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

If paying a cashier a living wage will make prices go up, why doesn’t replacing cashiers with self-checkouts make prices go down?

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Stay up till 4 a.m. one night, and your sleep schedule is ruined for the next 4 years.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Do people who love escape rooms not know about IKEA?

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Sex is like tacos. I wish I were having some now.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

I march to the beat of my own dumb.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Due to personal reasons, I must make it in life.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Every guy wants to be called Daddy till that test comes back positive.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

That moment when a zombie out for brains walks past you.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Are you gonna confess your undying love for me or what, bro?

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I am “I can’t remember the last time I went out on New Year’s Eve” old.

Making waves on X:

Be careful when you follow the masses sometimes the M is silent.

Spotted on Messenger:

I can keep my mouth shut, but you can read the subtitles on my face.

Spotted on Threads:

For years I thought an oncologist was just the doctor they kept on-call at all times.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

My skin is so dry it’s doing a PowerPoint presentation.

Going viral on X:

Going down a rabbit hole if anyone wants anything.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I hate it when I turn on the car in the morning and the music starts blasting… It’s like, woah, I’m not the same person I was last night.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I now also have a device that tells me whether I’ve taken enough steps today. If I don’t make it one day, it barks and poops in my apartment.

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