Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

My favorite part of leaving the house is looking forward to going home.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

I love doing research. I will look up some stuff in a minute.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

I don’t freak out until I see the Buddhists freaking out.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

First you’re cringe, then you’re the blueprint.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

One day I’ll do amazing things. Today I’ll be satisfied if I don’t spill food on my lap.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Maybe in another life, I’m a spoiled nepo baby — jobless and doing nothing but shopping all day with my equally nepotised friends.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

I haven’t been with anyone in 3 years. I feel sorry for my next boyfriend. He might not make it through the day.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Isn’t it weird we have a little voice in our head, like the one you’re using to read this?

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

“Too much garlic”? What’s next? Too much love? Too much desire?

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

For my final act of love, I will never contact you again, but think of you always.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

297 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,566

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,566

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,304

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

There’s no reason my stomach should be growling, I just gave it some iced coffee.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Not working on myself because I make better content this way.

Seen just now on YouTube:

My burning question is who thought a two day weekend would suffice the human body.

Just landed via WeChat:

I hate when someone on a magazine cover stares at me while I eat.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Hair is washed. I am finally lovable and capable of loving again.

Shared recently on Slack:

You can’t get a good night’s sleep anymore because of woke.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Is it healthier to drink tap water and let the fluoride calcify my pineal gland or drink bottled spring water and let micro plastics settle in my balls?

Spotted on Slack:

If you finish every sentence with “as the prophecy foretold”, your coworkers will leave you alone.

Shared recently on Slack:

Avocado toast at a cafe: $10. Avocado toast from Uber Eats: $25. Avocado toast made at home: $550 (my labor is worth $115 a minute).

Freshly posted on Instagram:

The prettier you are, the weirder it gets.

My trauma is between me and this bartender. The rest of you, mind your business.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like the bartender's about to get a degree in therapy! 🍸🛋️🤣

bartender, business, humor, interaction, me, mind, privacy, rest, social, social interaction, trauma

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It turns out, as you get older, you don’t actually figure anything out; you just don’t have any energy to care anymore.

2 months ago

actually, aging, aging humor, aging joke, anything, apathy, care, cynicism, energy, figure, humor, joke, just, life, life perspective, older, perspective, wisdom
If I say “with all due respect,” nothing respectful is about to come out of my mouth.

2 months ago

communication, due, humor, i, irony, mouth, nothing, phrase, respect, sarcasm, say, speech
You seem really unhinged, we should grab coffee sometime.

2 months ago

casual, coffee, conversation, friendship, humor, should, social, unhinged
“What’s your music taste?” Don’t know, man. If it sounds good, I’m adding it to the playlist.

2 months ago

attitude, casual, good, humor, know, man, music, music taste, playlist, relaxed, relaxed attitude, sounds, taste
I love wearing sunglasses. Am I looking at your face? Am I looking at your ass? No one knows.

3 months ago

am, ass, face, humor, i, looking, love, mystery, observation, sunglasses
No matter how sad you are, there is some form of potato that can make it better.

5 months ago

better, booster, comfort, comfort food, food, form, humor, matter, mood, mood booster, potato, sad, sadness

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on Slack this month:

What if we kissed while watching the decay of our society?

75 shares on TikTok this month:

If you love someone, let them go. If they come back with snacks, it was always meant to be.

65 shares on Threads this month:

“You’re in her DMs, my faint presence sits in her Spotify Wrapped through the music I introduced her to. We’re not the same.”

99 shares on Snapchat this month:

I no longer dislike Mondays, I’m mature now… I dislike the whole week.

75 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I was a nothingburger to him, but he was an everything bagel to me…

28 shares on YouTube this month:

“I’m too pretty for this” is a very valid excuse, actually.

15 shares on WhatsApp this month:

For someone who is afraid of failure, I’m very unmotivated.

19 shares on Snapchat this month:

The first two drinks don’t count if you have social anxiety, they just turn you into a normal person.

52 shares on X this month:

I don’t wanna be dramatic but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

38 shares on Facebook this month:

100% of all babіes are unemployed. Pathetіc.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Are you a software update, because not now!

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Please be delicate with me, I’m built like a Nature Valley bar.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

I either text back right away or never, because I saw your text, replied in my head but forgot to actually type it.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Some people stay longer in a toilet than in a relationship.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

Every time I see a couple riding a tandem bike, I try to figure out which one of them is pissed about it.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Listen, before I had my coffee I didn’t know how awesome I was going to be today either.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

When I look at the world, I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Sorry I can’t come today. My sister’s friend’s mother’s grandpa’s brother’s grandson’s uncle’s fish died, and it was tragic.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Unfortunately, I don’t think before I speak, so l am just a shocked as you are.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

Handshakes should be banned. Touch our naked body parts together for all the world to see? Gross!

Breaking via Pinterest:

Keep your friends close, but your smartphone closer.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My trauma is between me and this bartender. The rest of you, mind your business.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

It turns out, as you get older, you don’t actually figure anything out; you just don’t have any energy to care anymore.

If I say “with all due respect,” nothing respectful is about to come out of my mouth.

You seem really unhinged, we should grab coffee sometime.

“What’s your music taste?” Don’t know, man. If it sounds good, I’m adding it to the playlist.

I love wearing sunglasses. Am I looking at your face? Am I looking at your ass? No one knows.

No matter how sad you are, there is some form of potato that can make it better.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨