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This year I’d like an advent calendar with 24 different tranquilizers.

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According to the web, caffeine deficiency is a life threatening condition for people around you.

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So many mistakes to make, so little time.

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Instagram is run by celebrities. Twitter is run by the streets.

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Who called them cat allergies and not meowlergies?

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I consider the second page of Google results the dark web.

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I don’t drink alcohol. I like suffering raw.

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My summer body is just my winter body with better lighting.

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One of my biggest faults is that when I ask someone their name, I forget to listen to what their name is.

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My toxic trait is optimism.

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Not gonna lie, I just assume everyone is AI now.

Not gonna lie, I just assume everyone is AI now.

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Guess I should stop asking my toaster for relationship advice ๐Ÿค–๐Ÿž



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