Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

This year I’d like an advent calendar with 24 different tranquilizers.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

According to the web, caffeine deficiency is a life threatening condition for people around you.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

So many mistakes to make, so little time.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Instagram is run by celebrities. Twitter is run by the streets.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Who called them cat allergies and not meowlergies?

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

I consider the second page of Google results the dark web.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

I don’t drink alcohol. I like suffering raw.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

My summer body is just my winter body with better lighting.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

One of my biggest faults is that when I ask someone their name, I forget to listen to what their name is.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

My toxic trait is optimism.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,515

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

You don’t need to explain yourself if you carry a chainsaw.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, I’m never sending you nudes again.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Your child learning to say mommy is when your life begins and ends.

Just landed via Twitch:

Always remember you’re someone’s reason to smile. Because you’re a joke.

Going viral on Facebook:

I’m an adult, but not the ‘makes positive life choices’ kind.

Just shared via WeChat:

Everyone’s gangster until they need to pee.

Just shared via Telegram:

I just ate, and now I’m going swimming, so I guess this is goodbye.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Currently helping my nephew look for his M&M’s that I ate yesterday.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I will never sell out my integrity unless I am offered something for it.

Just shared via Slack:

TMZ will find out you’re dead before you do.

Not gonna lie, I just assume everyone is AI now.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess I should stop asking my toaster for relationship advice 🤖🍞

AI, assume, assumption, everyone, humor, i, just, lie, life, modern, modern life, technology

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Changed my bio on bumble to “I’m gonna murder ur whole family” and guys still responded.

0

2 months ago

bio, bumble, dating, family, guys, humor, murder, online, online dating, response, sarcasm, still, whole
The way that we’re constantly told not to eat silica gel makes me suspect that it contains all the world’s forbidden knowledge.

0

2 months ago

eat, eating, forbidden, forbidden knowledge, gel, humor, knowledge, me, silica, silica gel, suspicion, told
Wake me when AI does housework.

0

2 months ago

AI, automation, chores, housework, humor, me, wake
Sometimes all you need is a Saturday to sleep, eat, and do absolutely nothing else all day.

0

2 months ago

absolutely, chill, chill day, day, doing, doing nothing, eat, else, laziness, need, nothing, relaxation, rest, Saturday, sleep, sometimes, weekend
Wearing shorts and my pale legs screamed at the sensation of sunlight like vampires.

0

2 months ago

clothing, humor, leg, legs, pale, pale leg, sensation, shorts, summer, sunlight, vampire, vampires
“Winter is literally the best season.” Okay, husky, go sit outside then.

0

2 months ago

animals, best, best season, cold, humor, husky, okay, outside, pet, season, sit, sit outside, winter

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on Reddit this month:

People drive you insane and then say “see, I told you that you’re insane.”

60 shares on Messenger this month:

Your honor, my client doesn’t like jail.

31 shares on Snapchat this month:

I wasn’t feeling well so I googled my symptoms. I either have allergies or I died two days ago.

44 shares on TikTok this month:

Every man learns for himself the uselessness of owning an iPad.

56 shares on Reddit this month:

And is your “sparkling personality” in the room with us now?

37 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Your odds are greater of being killed by a coconut rather than a shark and this is exactly why I don’t swim in coconut-infested waters.

78 shares on YouTube this month:

My toxic trait is thinking I can nap, then waking up 3 hours later in a parallel universe where I missed everything.

90 shares on Threads this month:

Never going into a job interview nervous again, because, wow, it is literally a free invitation to talk about how amazing I am.

24 shares on WeChat this month:

It’s not magic, but I bet you are reading this post with one leg on top of the other.

92 shares on WeChat this month:

Remember you are dust and, after you send this email, to dust you shall return.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Have you ever been sitting around overthinking about overthinking, and then wonder why you’re even thinking that?

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Have an early flight tomorrow, so naturally I’m going to stay up late tonight and be weird in my room.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

I’m planning to eat the rich, but can I sub out fries for a salad?

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Why is no one talking about the sheer pleasure of coming home from vacation and using your own bathroom.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Can’t wait to put up holiday lights so life can be equally crappy but festively so.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Robert De Niro always looks like he just smelled a nasty fart.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

I ran out of toilet paper so I had to start using old newspapers. The Times are rough.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

That moment when it’s January in a couple of weeks, and you realize you are still trying to lose weight from last January.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Gonna spend today following my cats into the kitchen and meowing at them until they give me treats.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Do you mind if I smash this object of great sentimental value?

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

Something very chic about crying while driving… have to keep it a little classy so you don’t crash… other drivers unaware a diva is down in the next lane over…

Freshly posted on Messenger:

The sexiest woman you know is trying to maintain her balance between insanity and genius.

Just shared via YouTube:

Super excited about a brand new week of faking it.

Live now on Slack:

I will never give another woman my heart until I see how she acts when a bee flies at her.

Spotted on Discord:

A really good magician could be living in your house and you would never know.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I hate it when someone asks me what I did yesterday. I don’t know. Breathed a lot, probably got mad at something … sighed heavily. The list goes on.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I don’t like talking to people with an IQ lower than the room temperature.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Ever since I was little, I always knew I wanted to retire.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

People who quit their jobs before having a backup job lined up ain’t scared of nothing.

Making waves on Instagram:

You don’t have to be crazy to be friends with me. I also train people.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Not gonna lie, I just assume everyone is AI now.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Changed my bio on bumble to “I’m gonna murder ur whole family” and guys still responded.

The way that we’re constantly told not to eat silica gel makes me suspect that it contains all the world’s forbidden knowledge.

Wake me when AI does housework.

Sometimes all you need is a Saturday to sleep, eat, and do absolutely nothing else all day.

Wearing shorts and my pale legs screamed at the sensation of sunlight like vampires.

“Winter is literally the best season.” Okay, husky, go sit outside then.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨