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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

My only goal in life is to never end up on a Netflix documentary.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

I learned that when dogs lean against you it’s their version of hugging and now every time my dog leans against me my eyes start leaking.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Could you even imagine the crime rate if no one drank coffee or ate bacon.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

What I lack in moves on the dance floor, I more than make up for in dancing around a conversation.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

With great power comes the absolute certainty that you’ll turn into a right douche.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Telling my boss I can’t come back to work because I’ve discovered the joy of doing nothing.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

At the airport, and a wife asked her husband, “Where are our seats?” and he responds, “In the airplane.”

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

It’s so hot the chipmunks are using my bird bath as a hot tub and requesting mimosas and the brunch menu.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

For my next trick, I’ll watch a two-hour movie in four.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

I hate it when someone asks me what I did yesterday. I don’t know. Breathed a lot, probably got mad at something … sighed heavily. The list goes on.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

297 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,566

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,566

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,706

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

If you’ve been talking for 5 minutes straight, it might be someone else’s turn.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I wish more modern politics were about trying to stop the fulfillment of an ancient prophecy.

Shared recently on X:

Someone told me I wasn’t thinking clearly, as if that’s even an option.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Wow, this person is full of shit. Oh, I’m on my own page.

Going viral on Discord:

I’m a yapper. I’m a napper. I’m a midnight snacker.

Breaking via Instagram:

“Some men go months without being hugged.” Okay, then they should just hug each other.

Nothing is funnier than seeing how angry someone gets when they realize they can’t manipulate you.

4 months ago

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Commentary:
That moment when they realize their Jedi mind tricks don't work on you 😂🧠✨

anger, angry, control, emotions, funnier, funny moment, humor, manipulate, manipulation, moment, nothing, reaction, realize, seeing, someone

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Life hack: put on an apron at home and people think you’re super busy doing important stuff even when you’re not.

2 months ago

appearance, apron, busy, doing, even, hack, home, humor, important, life, life hack, people, productivity, put, stuff, super, think
What are cats even trying to do?

6 months ago

cat, cats, curiosity, even, humor, question, trying
This Monday has Monday written all over it.

2 months ago

frustration, humor, Monday, motivation, over, relatable, sarcasm, weekday, workweek
Jesus rose from the grave because he forgot to clear his browser history.

2 months ago

browser, clear, forgot, grave, history, humor, Jesus, joke, religion, resurrection, rose, tech
Today’s kids don’t even get chicken pox anymore, they go straight to STDs.

2 weeks ago

chicken, chicken pox, childhood, disease, even, gap, generation, generation gap, health, humor, infection, kid, kids, pox, STD, straight
Soccer: I love when they hold up the sign and a brand new, beautiful boy takes the place of a dirty, sweaty, ruined one.

2 months ago

activity, beautiful, boy, dirty, humor, i, love, new, place, replacement, sign, soccer, sport, sweaty

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

96 shares on X this month:

I am “I can’t remember the last time I went out on New Year’s Eve” old.

29 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Me, unwrapping a gift: Oh wow, an item. I love these!

51 shares on WeChat this month:

I wonder if the fall of Rome was this stupid.

24 shares on Reddit this month:

Doctors are always giving me Ibuprofen. Man, give me something I can sell.

40 shares on Facebook this month:

Catching me in person is rare. I move like a ghost.

74 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If I was a fish, I’d be smoking all the seaweed.

69 shares on Threads this month:

Kinda rude my neighbors live next to me.

37 shares on Snapchat this month:

I like to minimize the disappointment by being myself right from the start.

86 shares on WeChat this month:

At the end of the day, the day is going to end.

73 shares on Facebook this month:

I do not use AI, I use Reddit commenters’ opinions as fact because they are right.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

I like listening to music in languages I don’t speak because sometimes I just don’t wanna know what anybody is talking about.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Going to the beach is 99% getting ready for the beach and 1% enjoying the beach.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Every day I ask ChatGPT if it knows where my keys are and if it ever knows the answer, I’m suing everybody.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

America is like that TV show that’s been on for too long, and the writers don’t know what to do, so they just make anything happen.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

If I say I love you, it’s just the apocalypse talking.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m glad the makers removed all the unnecessary sex scenes from my life, so I can focus on character development.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

If you’re curious what the priciest item in a store is just bring a kid along because they’ll definitely find then break it.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Obsessed with how Siri just doesn’t work at all, ever.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

It’s nice to have a moment to breathe before reality knocks the wind out of you again.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Outlook just asked me if I’m “enjoying” Microsoft Outlook. As if it’s not the Torment Portal.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

I really miss kissing. I hope next year favors my lips.

Going viral on Slack:

I have to work because the baby is expensive. (I’m the baby.)

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I’m looking for a moisturizer to hide the fact that I’ve been tired since 2010.

Spotted on Messenger:

You don’t have to check your Spotify Wrapped, you are the most played this year.

Trending via Twitch:

If humanity is so smart, how come it took thousands of years after the wheel was invented for someone to put them on a suitcase?

Breaking via Discord:

Remember the good old days when you didn’t have to wonder if the person messaging you was a bot or not?

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I’m a credit card, cause I’m always being used or denied.

Spotted on X:

If I delete a tweet, I should disappear with it.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

That awkward moment when you try something on in a shop but you don’t know if you can get it off again.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Nothing is funnier than seeing how angry someone gets when they realize they can’t manipulate you.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Life hack: put on an apron at home and people think you’re super busy doing important stuff even when you’re not.

What are cats even trying to do?

This Monday has Monday written all over it.

Jesus rose from the grave because he forgot to clear his browser history.

Today’s kids don’t even get chicken pox anymore, they go straight to STDs.

Soccer: I love when they hold up the sign and a brand new, beautiful boy takes the place of a dirty, sweaty, ruined one.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨