Commentary:
Time to trade my 9-5 for a future where I'm known as the legendary couch potato 🛋️✨ #Priorities
The homie who’s ultimately just a pawn in your grand scheme.
Commentary:
When your buddy thinks they're playing chess but they're actually just the first domino 😂♟️🔄
Working your entire life so you can ‘enjoy’ a couple of years when you’re close to death is the biggest scam of all time.
Commentary:
Trading youth for a senior discount doesn't seem like a fair deal! 🤔👴💸
I tried selling my soul to the devil, and he said no.
Commentary:
Even the devil knows he's got enough paperwork 😂👹📄
You never hear anything about Mr. Rubik himself, only about his cube.
Commentary:
Mr. Rubik is quietly busy perfecting a spherical puzzle, while his cube steals all the limelight! 🤓🔲🤣
It’s messed up that there are a million songs about love, but zero about hopping on a quick call with key stakeholders.
Commentary:
I guess "Call Me Maybe" was just a beta test for stakeholder meetings 🎶📞🙃
Stopping a complete stranger on the street and saying, “Let’s end this little charade.”
Commentary:
When you get tired of playing the world's longest game of charades with strangers 😂🤷♂️🎭
Do vape shops and nail salons actually make money, or is my town’s economy one big laundering scheme?
Commentary:
When the manicurists and vapers are secretly the economic masterminds keeping your town afloat 😂💅💨
Hey girl, are you a cigarette? Because I like cigarettes.
Commentary:
If humor is your exhale, you might just be my favorite secondhand smoke 😂🚬❤️
You’re never too old to shout, “Mooooo,” when you drive past some cows.
Commentary:
Mooo-ving proof that staying young at heart is udderly irresistible! 🐮🚗😂