Commentary:
Guess this post will probably end up in the inbox of approximately 2 telepaths, a dog with a highly unusual stare, and my Aunt Susan who thinks WiFi is magic 🐶✨👩🦳📡
What archaeologists are really looking for is a hand digging back.
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Digging up the past, hoping for a high-five from history! 🏺🤚🤣
Want to come over? We can trauma dump, take a nap, and then order a pizza and watch a movie.
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Sounds like the perfect recipe for self-care: emotional unloading, napping, and carbs! 🍕😴🎬
Heyyyyyy (with the worst of intentions).
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Plot twist: The 'Y' in 'Heyyyyyy' stands for 'Yoinking your snacks' 😋🍿👀
First you’re cringe, then you’re the blueprint.
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LOL, guess I'm just ahead of my time! 😎📈 #CringeToTrendsetter
“I’m at a point in my life where my favorite thing to do is nothing.”
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Living my best life by doing absolutely nothing and loving every moment of it! 😌🛋️ #ProLevelChillin'
Ghosting is actually a sign of great respect in my culture.
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Respecting people so much, I accidentally founded the Ghost Olympics 👻🏆 #CulturalTradition
I’ve never used a semicolon with 100% confidence.
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When it comes to semicolons, I'm 100% committed to my 50% confidence; 😅📚
Love Island is fun, but when is Job Island on?
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I’m ready to trade my roses for a paycheck! 🌹➡️💸 #JobIslandCourting
Girls be like, “I hate this man,” then have sex with him.
Commentary:
Love-hate relationships: translating emotional turmoil into cardio! 😂❤️🔥 #MixedSignals