Commentary:
Dark chocolate: fulfilling my daily veggie quota since forever! 🍫🥦😄
(british guy unhooking your bra) All right, what’s all this, then?
Commentary:
Looks like he's on a very delicate mission and hoping it doesn't go tits up! 🤭🇬🇧😅
Eating healthy requires a second job.
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Guess I’ll need a third job just to afford dessert! 🥑💸🍰
Do you ever think back about all the crazy stuff you did when you were younger, and wonder how you’re still alive?
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Who needs a cat's nine lives when you've got childhood antics keeping you on your toes! 🤸♂️😅🧁
Ruined a Ferrari guy’s day today by telling him that I loved his Corvette.
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Talk about car-ma! Sure hope he has GPS to navigate through the tears 😂🚗💔
Sunday should be 48 hours instead of 24 hours, I need more time to be ready for Monday.
Commentary:
Can we petition for a time zone with extra hours just for Sundays? 🌞🕰️😴
Nephew showed me his toys on FaceTime, and I had no toys to show him back. Humiliating.
Commentary:
When your toy game isn't strong enough for the virtual playdate 😂🧸📱
Trying to bribe Monday with coffee to get it to act like a Friday.
Commentary:
Looks like Monday needs an espresso intervention to get its act together 🤔☕️➡️🎉
A good French onion soup will have you acting like a pervert.
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That soup's got me feeling "ooh la la" in ways I can't explain 🤤🥴🍲
The sweet spot is just enough pain to know you’re alive, but not quite enough to wish you were dead.
Commentary:
Finding that perfect level of chaos in life where it's 'ouch' instead of 'ouchouchouchOMG!' 😅🔨