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Trying to convince my couch I'm having a wild night out 🍕🎉😎
I try to find the good in every situation. Wait, no – that was a typo. Food. I try to find the food in every situation.
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Always on the lookout for life's unexpected appetizers! 🍕👀🍔
Don’t ruin a good sundress by wearing panties.
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Who needs extra layers when you've got the breeze as your personal AC? 🌬️😄🍑
Can I come over and be your midnight snack?
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Trying to keep my pantry well-stocked, but I guess there's always room for a human-sized snack! 🍔😄
Going to IKEA if anyone needs some meatballs.
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Can’t promise I’ll return with a bookshelf, but guaranteed meatball mission success! 🛒🥢🤣
People that I dislike shouldn’t be allowed to consume the media that I like.
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Guess I'll need to start issuing "Cool Media Club" membership cards 🎟️😎📺
It’s lowkey nothing else to do except become a better version of yourself, lol.
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When "procrastibaking" has been done 5 times, "Procrastibettering" is next on the to-do list 😂🥐➡️👍
Shy with a mean resting face is a crazy combo.
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When you’re both trying to avoid a conversation and accidentally starting a duel 😂😅🙈
Last time I laid on his chest, I heard girls in there laughing at me.
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Sounds like his chest might need an eviction notice! 😂🏠🎙️
I wish it was socially acceptable to DM someone, “Hey, why did you and your partner break up?”
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If we could DM for breakup details, popcorn sales would skyrocket 🍿😂📩