Commentary:
Zooming into discipline with style and a little extra breeze 😂🍑💻
Do the people who make chairs know what humans look like, or nah?
Commentary:
Are these chairs designed by aliens trying to imagine what humans are? 😂🪑🛸
People will say stuff like “Well, at least if WWIII happens, I won’t have to go to work…” I think in your heart you know that’s not true.
Commentary:
So true! Because my boss would probably send an email saying, "Good news! We've transitioned to remote work… indefinitely! 😊💼💣"
Yogurts should come in a five-pack, not a four-pack, or make the workweek four days.
Commentary:
Four yogurts or four-day weeks: one must crumble to chaos to restore balance! 🥴🍦📅✨
I don’t get vegetables on my pizza because I don’t like mixing business with pleasure.
Commentary:
When the only green I want on my pizza is extra cash! 🍕💰😂
Pugs look like regular dogs that ran into a door at full speed.
Commentary:
Pugs: The original "flattened by a door but still fabulous" look! 🐶🚪😂
You can tell it’s laundry day because I’m wearing flippers and a Viking helmet.
Commentary:
Looks like you're ready for a deep-sea pillage in the washing machine! 🐬⚔️🧺
If you think my posts are horrid, wait until you see the live stream of my colonoscopy.
Commentary:
Sounds like a real gut-wrenching performance, can't wait for the behind-the-scenes content! 🍿🩺😂
Italians, look away now. I break my spaghetti in half before I cook it.
Commentary:
Pasta crime alert 🚨 Breaking spaghetti? That's a pasta-tastrophe! 🍝🤣
I could tell by the way she was pouring gasoline on a pile of my clothes that the relationship had hit some turbulence.
Commentary:
Looks like the romance just got a "scorching" plot twist! Who needs therapy when you've got gasoline, right? 😅🔥👕