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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

What bootlickers fail to understand is that the boot eventually comes for them too.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Nonchalant men are not for me. I want mine to have a panic attack if we’re not talking.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Hey, can I get an ETA on that “this too shall pass”?

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

I hate it when my pillow is not pillowing like it should. You have one job. Be a pillow man. You are pillow. Act like one!

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Sometimes all you need is a Saturday to sleep, eat, and do absolutely nothing else all day.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Why do fruit flies be everywhere but at the supermarket? Ain’t that like their Golden Corral?

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

I hope you can hear me thinking about you.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Was complaining to my mom about my daughter’s attitude and she told me I should’ve named her payback.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Maybe the grass is greener over there because you’re not over there messing it up.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

I’m still annoyed that you can catch Covid more than once. I can’t explain why, but it feels kind of rude.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,398

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Just found out it don’t matter how early I go to bed, I just don’t wanna go to work.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

The only guarantee in life is, if you run errands looking like shit, you will run into everyone you haven’t seen in months.

Just landed via TikTok:

Welcome to your 40s, you’re too old to sit on the floor and put furniture together.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Of course, I also put my mobile down from time to time. For example, when someone tries to call me.

Making waves on Telegram:

Porn actresses envy the look on my face when I clean my ear with a cotton bud.

Going viral on Reddit:

If you have to remind them to give a shit, remind yourself not to.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I could post “hello” and there’d be a 20 day argument in the comments.

Trending via Pinterest:

Horoscope: You will give blood generously this week, but it won’t be your idea.

Breaking via Discord:

My mom always used to tell me that I look cute when I sleep. My boss has a different opinion.

Making waves on Twitch:

Coffee is better when you have no work.

People in 1999 were using the Internet as an escape from reality. People today are using reality as an escape from the Internet.

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People in 1999 were using the Internet as an escape from reality. People today are using reality as an escape from the Internet.
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Commentary:
Reality: now available in HD! 😂📺🌐 #UpgradeComplete

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on Pinterest this month:

Watching my wife absolutely hate my daughter’s boyfriend while being nice and hospitable to him has made me question every interaction I’ve had with another human being in my life.

70 shares on YouTube this month:

Just gave my boyfriend an incorrect direction in the car, and he sighed and muttered to himself, “Never assign to malice what can be attributed to incompetence.”

23 shares on Discord this month:

Sometimes I look deep into my colleagues’ eyes to check if you really can’t see the back of their skulls.

31 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The best thing capitalism has done is put a little window on pasta boxes so the noodles can look out at the world.

85 shares on YouTube this month:

Imagine being a giraffe and having to throw up.

29 shares on Facebook this month:

Some parents are blessed with amazing kids and others have kids that decide to learn the trumpet.

54 shares on Discord this month:

The female rage of having so much to say but refusing to say it, cause their emotional intelligence is too low for them to comprehend it.

40 shares on Pinterest this month:

The only time your man will surprise you is when you specifically tell him what you want.

14 shares on WeChat this month:

Sometimes I miss the time when there was only one idiot per village.

97 shares on Reddit this month:

I used to have a great future in my past.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine being hungry and some guy tries to teach you to fish.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The IRS needs special envelopes for when you’re not in trouble.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’ve had cigarettes that were better than entire years of my life.”

12 folks are currently checking 👀

His hands wouldn’t stop talking to me, your honor.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

A foghorn but for people who can’t see through their own bullshit.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Adulthood – a never-ending story of shit you have to do.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Opening up to a woman is like talking to the police, anything you say can and will be used against you.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Meow means woof in cat.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Descibe your boobs only using a picture of them.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh really? We’ll see what the same six people who always agree with me think about that.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,553

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Did you guys hear about the “internet”? Apparently, you can say literally anything there.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Please don’t use fear to manipulate me. Much more effective to use cake.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

You know you’ve mastered marriage when you shout to your husband, “Take the thing off the thing,” and he immediately knows what to do.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Due to inflation, a picture is now worth 2300 words.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

The book characters may be fictional, but my emotional instability over them is real.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Twitter is where the broken, the used, the fighters, and the lovers gather to appreciate the twisted beauty in one another.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

You’re not lazy, you’re just buffering in HD.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

I actually think my version of the lyrics makes more sense.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Breaking: man who liked me first no longer likes me.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Microplastics are a waste of time. I go straight to eating whole packaging.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

The devil couldn’t reach me, so he made sure that the love I give is never reciprocated.

Live now on Snapchat:

If you don’t have a favorite spatula yet, you still have some growing up to do.

Going viral on Instagram:

“This was on sale!” is why I’m always broke.

Live now on WhatsApp:

If you turn your phone off for 1 day, you’ll realize it’s still 2007 outside.

Making waves on Discord:

Deleting my mental health to focus on social media.

Making waves on X:

A gentle reminder that if your birth year starts with a 19, you should consider wrapping the Christmas presents on a table, and not on the floor.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I hate the sounds you make when you chew.

Breaking via Slack:

I wish I was mysterious, but unfortunately I just can’t keep my mouth shut.

Just shared via Twitch:

I told my psychiatrist I’ve been hearing voices lately. He told me I don’t have a psychiatrist.

Spotted on Messenger:

Don’t donate your plasma. It’s a big scam, and they’re just using it to make TVs.

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