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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • My grandmother is a shining example of how you can live until 90 years of age, sustained by nothing but spite and biscuits.
  • I don’t abuse substances. I cherish and nurture them.
  • I don’t need a New Year’s resolution, it’s the year’s turn to be better.
  • I’m too lazy to be a superhero. If I had laser eyes, I’d probably just use them to heat soup or something.
  • Who you are before you have your coffee is the real you.
  • Waffles are just pancakes with abs.