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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Recovering people pleasers will be like, “I’m in my villain era!” and it’s just politely drawing healthy boundaries.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Does everyone in the world want to come to my house tomorrow?

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

God saw you do that.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

There’s really nothing as pathetic as watching a sad little man argue with Grok in hopes of manipulating the conversation to get an answer he wants.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

A girl was coming over till she wasn’t—that’s what happened.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

There are 8 billion people in the world and I only have 3 friends, and one is annoying.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

DUI stands for: don’t Uber, I got this.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

The single star on Texas’ flag is actually a review.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Signatures are so unserious, just “pinky promise” for adults. Write your name in a silly little way on this very important piece of paper so we that we can send you to jail if you do anything wrong.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

This is your sign to cancel all work meetings today.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,680

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Some people graduate with honors, I am just honored to graduate.

Breaking via Telegram:

I think humans are meant to lay in bed with the love of their life all winter.

Going bananas on TikTok:

As highly as it’s esteemed, the Mayo Clinic still sounds like the place sick sandwiches go to get better.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Half of all the problems in life can be solved by duct tape. For the rest, you’re gonna have to reboot that computer.

Trending via Threads:

Adulthood is just saying “it is what it is,” and then crying in your car to a song from 2012.

Shared recently on X:

You’ll be having a good day and then someone your age says they’re buying a house.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I think one of my biggest hangups in getting better at Spanish is that speaking with the correct accent makes me feel racist.

Just shared via Facebook:

Partying hard on this Friday night, and by partying hard, I mean laying on my bed starfish-style.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Release that sexual frustration, get a burger.

Just landed via WeChat:

My dogs don’t feel earthquakes because they have constant gas.

People who work in customer service should be allowed to fight one customer a day. Two on Fridays.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

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Commentary:
"Finally, a way to end the week with a *bang*! 🥊💥 Just imagine the 'Buy One, Get One Free' of stress relief! 🤣🙌 #FistOfTheWeek"

allowed, customer, customer interaction, customer service, day, employee, employee humor, fight, Fridays, frustration, humor, interaction, management, people, relief, service, should, stress, stress management, stress relief, work, work frustration, workplace

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I can’t think of a single email that has ever found me well.

0

2 months ago

communication, email, ever, found, humor, i, me, sarcasm, single, stress, technology, think, well, work
He doesn’t realize it yet, but this Saturday, I’ll be asking him to untangle 400 feet of Christmas lights.

0

1 month ago

asking, Christmas, Christmas light, decoration, feet, holiday, holiday preparation, light, lights, preparation, realize, relationship, Saturday, surprise, task, untangling
But he was so nice on the prison phone calls.

0

2 months ago

calls, conversation, humor, irony, nice, phone, prison, unexpected
Ever since I learned the show is called Suits because of lawsuits and not because they wear suits, I have harbored a hot white rage within me beyond anything mankind has ever known.

0

2 months ago

anything, ever, frustration, hot, humor, i, irony, lawsuits, me, misunderstanding, rage, revelation, show, Suits, television, wear, white
Life is hard. It is harder if you are stupid.

0

2 months ago

challenges, hard, humor, irony, life, stupid, wisdom
Half the world is mentally ill. The other half is to blame.

0

2 months ago

blame, half, humor, illness, irony, mental, mental illness, mentally, perspective, world

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on Pinterest this month:

My soulmate is probably out there, wondering if there’s life on earth.

48 shares on Instagram this month:

Stopped using exclamation points in work messages so my coworkers know they’ve killed my spirit.

75 shares on Facebook this month:

It’s Friday. Rules don’t apply.

71 shares on Twitch this month:

Let’s go out for carrots sometime.

55 shares on WeChat this month:

Something very chic about crying while driving… have to keep it a little classy so you don’t crash… other drivers unaware a diva is down in the next lane over…

95 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you think my heart is cold, you should feel my feet.

24 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Don’t fall in love. It’s bad.

71 shares on Telegram this month:

Concert tickets should be 75% off if the artist is really super special to you.

85 shares on X this month:

Yesterday, thieves broke into my home. They searched everywhere and found nothing. They beat me up, telling me to work harder.

24 shares on Telegram this month:

The phone is the most evil screen. The computer is somewhat evil, but less so than the phone. The TV is benevolent.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

The only hot singles in my area are in my wallet.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Technically I’m still young, but according to my back pain I’m actually 69.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

My stress stresses me out to the point where I’m too stressed to deal with my stress.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

12 people have been to the moon and only 8 people have won Takeshi’s Castle. Really makes you think.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Still waiting for aliens to abduct me, which feels pretty rude considering I’ve been dressed and ready for years.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

I’m retired. I was tired yesterday and I’m tired again today.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Make it a habit to cry and act unhinged at meetings so you’re never invited back.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Apparently it’s inappropriate to yell out “Shots, shots, shots, shots” while your child’s getting immunizations at the pediatrician’s office.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Becoming a dad turned me into an environmentalist. All I do now is turn off lights and yell at people who waste energy.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

The goal is never Gucci bags. It’s acres of land.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

Does my career know that I’m pursuing it, or is it another one-sided relationship?

Freshly posted on Discord:

Source? It was revealed to me on a walk.

Making waves on Slack:

Once again I feel like I slept in a washing machine.

Spotted on WeChat:

Yeah, the planet is dying. The government hates us. The animals are leaving. The aliens aren’t contacting us. We might be alone. It just might be you and me.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Never faked an orgasm before, but the joy of ugly presents.

Just shared via Instagram:

I can sing all the words to the intro song of DuckTales, what’s your flex?

Going viral on X:

I know sacrifice. I’m willing to pluck a few extra hairs to get to the white ones.

Seen just now on Discord:

Nature just builds 30 foot trees. Without even pulling a permit.

Just shared via Threads:

Yes, I was behind the DJ booth, but only as a cultural anthropologist.

Going bananas on Discord:

I think we all need to go out into an empty field and just scream for about an hour.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

People who work in customer service should be allowed to fight one customer a day. Two on Fridays.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I can’t think of a single email that has ever found me well.

He doesn’t realize it yet, but this Saturday, I’ll be asking him to untangle 400 feet of Christmas lights.

But he was so nice on the prison phone calls.

Ever since I learned the show is called Suits because of lawsuits and not because they wear suits, I have harbored a hot white rage within me beyond anything mankind has ever known.

Life is hard. It is harder if you are stupid.

Half the world is mentally ill. The other half is to blame.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨