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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

What I want for dinner hasn’t been invented yet.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

It’s not even a crush. it’s just unsupervised hope.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

The first guy to clap after seeing something cool must have been like “what the hell am I doing?”

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

I still can’t believe Aldi sells shopping carts for 25 cents. I’ve got 8 of them now and don’t really even have a use for them, it was just too good of a deal to pass up.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Thank you all for attending my final rose ceremony. There will be no roses.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

You’re over 35. Better go pee before you leave, pee when you get there, pee while you’re there, and pee before you leave.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

My most abusive relationship is with my own brain.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Please continue to leave me out of the loop.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Special Offer: Save 100% when you don’t buy anything.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Combining breakfast and lunch: Brunch. Combining wine and dinner: Winner.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,343

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

No rizz, just pretty eyes and many unsettling things to say.

Making waves on Discord:

There is no sex. I lied. You are gonna lay here and take personality quizzes with me.

Spotted on Twitch:

Sitting with my legs really wide to experiment with gender.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

“I don’t care!”, he posted, again.

Spotted on Twitch:

People don’t hate working, they hate working and still being poor.

Making waves on Snapchat:

You know those lines you see painted on parking lots? I know this will come as a shock to some of you, but you’re supposed to park between them.

Spotted on WeChat:

Donuts have holes in them, just like acoustic guitars, but that’s pretty much where the similarities end.

Shared recently on Messenger:

If a man says “I don’t deserve you,” believe him. Because he is about to show you why.

Making waves on Reddit:

I get tired from just thinking of everything I have to do.

Spotted on Pinterest:

If I had a tiny girlfriend, I would love to throw her across gaps so she can pull levers and open doors that get me to her part of the level.

People who work in customer service should be allowed to fight one customer a day. Two on Fridays.

1 week ago

Funny Quotes

Witty quote about customer service staff needing a daily spar, with extra fights on Fridays.

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…

Commentary:
"Finally, a way to end the week with a *bang*! 🥊💥 Just imagine the 'Buy One, Get One Free' of stress relief! 🤣🙌 #FistOfTheWeek"

allowed, customer, customer interaction, customer service, day, employee, employee humor, fight, Fridays, frustration, humor, interaction, management, people, relief, service, should, stress, stress management, stress relief, work, work frustration, workplace

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Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m at an age where I don’t have to go anywhere and I still have jet lag.

91 shares on Telegram this month:

I asked Tom Hanks for his autograph, but all he wrote was thanks.

53 shares on WhatsApp this month:

January-me would not believe the life I lived this year.

76 shares on X this month:

I need to move to New York and be miserable. I think it’d be so good for me.

82 shares on Threads this month:

No one flirts better than a guy who’s not interested in you.

68 shares on Messenger this month:

She’s probably just not using her phone right now for the first time ever in her whole life.

91 shares on Telegram this month:

It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.

17 shares on YouTube this month:

I like people who make eye contact like they know something I don’t.

94 shares on Threads this month:

Live, laugh, leftovers.

53 shares on YouTube this month:

Adulting is realizing Monday is a better ‘off day’ than Friday.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Don’t forget to set your clocks back to seasonal depression this weekend.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Now I know why my dad used to wake up at 4AM and just sit at the kitchen table for an hour.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

January 1st: anything is possible. January 2nd: but not today.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

His palm trees are Serengeti, destination wedding, luggage is heavy. There’s vomit on his tux already, Dollar store confetti.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

When fireworks were invented, it was ‘hisssss’ to ‘wheeeee’ in the making.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

The adult in the room just addressed the elephant in the room.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

I may forget what I opened the fridge for but I remember every time anyone has ever wronged me.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Problems are like balls. Everyone thinks they have bigger ones than you.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Why is experimental noise music always scary metallic noises and never fun sounds like people clapping and laughing and like bubbles and stuff?

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Men call us “gold diggers” when we expect them to pay for a meal. Honey, a gold digger goes after yachts, not a piece of chicken.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on LinkedIn:

I changed my alarm clock sound to an applause, it’s the least I deserve for waking up at 7am.

Trending via Discord:

Garlic and bread is the only marriage I truly have faith in.

Just shared via Telegram:

I think I’m about six months away from the perfect ‘before’ picture.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Writing is so fun because you get to google things like “woman names”.

Just shared via Facebook:

Not today, Satan, but next week works.

Just landed via TikTok:

I’m not superstitious because it brings bad luck.

Going bananas on Slack:

I like to swear a lot so that people will keep their kids away from me.

Just landed via Telegram:

I don’t mind driving in bad weather. I mind other people driving in bad weather.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

My neighbors were yelling so loud at their kids to clean up their room that out of fear even I started cleaning my room.

Making waves on Twitch:

My kids and I have this bit where I say something and they ignore me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

People who work in customer service should be allowed to fight one customer a day. Two on Fridays.

Nothing refreshes my memory of what I need at the grocery store like coming home from the grocery store.

Banks: You are broke, so we are going to charge you for being broke.

Putting sunscreen on kids feels like cardio.

In an effort to demonstrate how pointless internet debates are, please prove to me that snow is real.

Bought a pair of night vision goggles so that I can easily find the fridge at night without waking my wife.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

People who work in customer service should be allowed to fight one customer a day. Two on Fridays.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Nothing refreshes my memory of what I need at the grocery store like coming home from the grocery store.

Banks: You are broke, so we are going to charge you for being broke.

Putting sunscreen on kids feels like cardio.

Facebook is like a never-ending high school reunion.

In an effort to demonstrate how pointless internet debates are, please prove to me that snow is real.

Bought a pair of night vision goggles so that I can easily find the fridge at night without waking my wife.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨