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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

I’m going to be a printer today and just not work.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Not to brag, but no one has ever accused me of trying too hard.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Asian girl at tech company: Wow, everyone here is so friendly.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Nobody at this train station knows that there’s a hole in my sock.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

You told your cat how much you love him, but now it’s morning, the sun is out, you’re sober, and it’s just weird for both of you.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

I could be a morning person, if morning was sometime around noon.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Not looking for a sugar daddy, but something more of a pay pal.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

I have a great poker face because I have no idea what’s going on.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Ladies, don’t date hungry guys. They’re just trying to get into your pantries.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

I think my phone is broken. I pressed the home button, but I’m still at work.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,707

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Working on my harmonica skills so those around me can both hear and feel my depression.

Shared recently on X:

I read that Miley Cyrus will be starring in a remake of Silence of the Lambs. She’ll be playing Hannibal Montannibal.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Fun fact: the creator of Barbie and the creator of Hot Wheels were husband and wife.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Just saw a bird run across the street if you were wondering if anyone else is wasting their gifts.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Jacket I left on a chair that sometimes looks like a person at night stuns in new evening nightmare.

Trending via Threads:

My friends have canceled our dinner plans two nights in a row. I’m starting to think they don’t like dinner.

Trending via Snapchat:

Kinda worried about something. Don’t know what it is yet.

Just landed via Instagram:

You know those lines you see painted on parking lots? I know this will come as a shock to some of you, but you’re supposed to park between them.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Sorry, I’m late. I sat on my bed in a towel for 45 minutes, staring at the wall.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

The worst thing you can do while cleaning is sit down for a minute.

Rehab is a great place to meet people that like Piña Coladas and getting caught in the rain.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like a singles retreat with extra steps! 🍹🌧️😆

addiction, addiction recovery, caught, colada, getting, great, humor, meet, meet people, people, piña, piña colada, place, rain, recovery, reference, rehab, socializing, song, song reference

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I don’t mean to disrupt the hotel industry, but how about checkout is 24 hours after you check in?

0

2 months ago

after, check, check-in, checkout, hospitality, hotel, hours, humor, i, industry, joke, mean, time, travel
Curly fries are my favorite as they’re salty and spiraling, like me.

0

2 months ago

curly, curly fry, favorite, food, fry, humor, me, personality, salty, self-description, spiraling
You ask a girl if she ate, and she gon say, “Yeah, I had my coffee.”

0

2 months ago

ask, breakfast, coffee, conversation, daily, daily routine, eating, girl, humor, i, routine, say
I thought you are the sunshine of my life, but you are just a meteor trying to destroy my world.

0

2 months ago

destroy, disappointment, expectations, humor, i, just, life, meteor, relationship, sunshine, thought, trying, world
My neighbor won’t stop talking about his Rolex and I can’t believe someone stole it tomorrow.

0

2 months ago

believe, humor, i, neighbor, Rolex, someone, stole, stop, talking, tomorrow
According to a study, people believe anything that starts with ‘according to a study’.

0

2 months ago

anything, believe, humor, irony, people, perception, research, skepticism, study

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

42 shares on Pinterest this month:

The real anti-aging regimen is retaining your childlike wonder and whimsy.

25 shares on Messenger this month:

The fake cough I use when calling in sick is now available on iTunes.

20 shares on Reddit this month:

The collective noun for a group of reply guys is an audacity.

50 shares on WeChat this month:

Kanye is pretty mean for someone with ‘yay’ in their name.

12 shares on Instagram this month:

Men be like, “You’ve been different ever since I disrespected you.”

16 shares on X this month:

“Listen to your body!” Okay, well, my body wants to lay down and eat snacks all day.

17 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If your kids aren’t drinking enough water, tell them it’s bedtime.

81 shares on Snapchat this month:

Some woman is out there right now, pregnant with Leonardo DiCaprio’s next girlfriend.

34 shares on Facebook this month:

The fine art of sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong.

42 shares on Twitch this month:

Every time I blink, it’s Monday again. I can’t live like this.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Foot fetish should just be called feetish.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Thank God they have medical marijuana in this state. I need it for my joints.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Maybe Baby wants to be put in the corner.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Everyone talks about climate change, but no one has the courage to sacrifice a virgin to appease the gods.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

If I was a weather man, I’d leak the weather early to pretty women.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

The algorithm knows about that thing you like that you’re denying yourself of.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Elections is like waiting for the results of a biopsy, except half your family hopes it’s cancer.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

I love befriending yappers. They bring the yapping out of me. Then we yap together. Yapping is so much fun.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Man, it sucks having no kids. All I do is whatever I want, all the time.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Making friends as an adult is wild because there’s so much lore to catch up on. You’ll be 3 years in and still get random drops like, ‘Oh, by the way, I used to be married.’

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

Even when I look up the slang of today’s kids, I still have no idea what it means.

Just landed via Facebook:

Attention to detail is so sexy, study me, baby.

Just shared via X:

The possibility of monsters residing underneath your bed is negated when the mattress is positioned on the floor.

Just shared via Pinterest:

The human body requires so much maintenance. Who designed this thing?

Seen just now on Facebook:

Once you turn 25 years and above, there is no need to set an alarm. Your problems will wake you up by force.

Just landed via Threads:

I have a man cold. Goodbye, world. Tell my story.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Do you guys remember when we had to share one desktop computer wіth the whole famіly?

Spotted on WeChat:

Being skinny may be nice, but chicken nuggets are even nicer.

Trending via Pinterest:

I’m obsessed with adding a second completely unnecessary tweet to all my tweets, like, oh, you thought I was done.

Spotted on TikTok:

You know when you tap a video to see how long it’s got left? I wish you could do that to people while they’re talking.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Rehab is a great place to meet people that like Piña Coladas and getting caught in the rain.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I don’t mean to disrupt the hotel industry, but how about checkout is 24 hours after you check in?

Curly fries are my favorite as they’re salty and spiraling, like me.

You ask a girl if she ate, and she gon say, “Yeah, I had my coffee.”

I thought you are the sunshine of my life, but you are just a meteor trying to destroy my world.

My neighbor won’t stop talking about his Rolex and I can’t believe someone stole it tomorrow.

According to a study, people believe anything that starts with ‘according to a study’.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨