Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

The circus does not condone the actions being taken by its monkeys.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Cartoons make it look like getting stabbed in the butt with a pitchfork would be no big deal, but I beg to differ.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

God saw you do that.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

The worst thing about wearing headphones is when you hallucinate people shouting you. Like, why does this happen?

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

That “so we done?” be saving the relationship every time.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

My front facing camera got me looking like a failed science project.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Having to choose between an old guy or a convicted felon is a perfect depiction of what dating apps are Iike.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re doing cardio.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

There is a house I drive by most days and I can never tell if they are having a yard sale or that is just how they live.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,510

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Who called it a deep freeze instead of ice-o-lation?

Just landed via YouTube:

My watch battery is fully charged. So I got some time.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I accidentally relaxed too much, and now I don’t have enough anxiety to get stuff done.

Going bananas on Instagram:

I put the ‘no’ in ‘I will let u know’.

Just shared via Messenger:

My red flag is that I don’t make playlists on Spotify. I just add every song I’ve ever liked to the ‘Liked Songs’ playlist and shuffle that, like an iPod.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Nobody is busier than a woman who isn’t into you.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Being single is better than asking a man to act like a man.

Making waves on Instagram:

Great news everyone! The priest who took my confession is expected to make a full recovery.

Freshly posted on X:

In my culture, family is completely unimportant. And we hate food.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Sorry I slowed down but I had to calculate if the bridge could hold the weight of my car with all the stuffed animals my kids insisted on bringing on vacation.

Saw a guy reading a book and writing notes in it. Not enough words in there for ya, bud?

Humorous text about a guy scribbling in a book, playfully questioning his note-taking.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like someone is on a quest for the elusive 11th commandment: "Thou shalt write in ALL the books!" 📚🤓 Maybe he's expecting a bonus chapter hidden in the scribbles!

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Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on WeChat this month:

Insomnia is embarrassing. How can I be so bad at something that literally involves doing nothing?

82 shares on YouTube this month:

They should invent crushes that like you back.

66 shares on Instagram this month:

Jane Austen gave us men who crossed fields in the rain. Mine left me on read, and liked someone else’s story.

38 shares on Reddit this month:

Me: This show is really boring. Boss: Again, this a zoom conference.

41 shares on Messenger this month:

How did they get kids to pose for oil paintings? Mine won’t sit still for 4 seconds for a family photo.

43 shares on Reddit this month:

When people suck the life out of you, they should take some fat too.

53 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t have bad handwriting, I’m just using my own font.

15 shares on YouTube this month:

Golf would be more exciting to watch if they played naked.

80 shares on X this month:

To be gentle in this world is an act of rebellion.

55 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Technology has gone too far, man. My roommate is logged out of his lightbulbs because he forgot his password.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

How are there low birth rates when everyone here is a big baby?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

In an effort to keep the employees motivated and increase morale, my boss has asked me to stop talking to everyone.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The knife is my brush, the jam my paint and the toast my canvas.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re not a knight in shining armor, you’re just a knob in Under Armour.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Anyone know how to get an air guitar out of a vacuum?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine going to see a situationship in 1868, and you go outside, and your horse is dead as hell.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Being bi means you say both yay and bruh.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Kanye is pretty mean for someone with ‘yay’ in their name.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Hansel and Gretel weren’t wrong, every bad decision I’ve ever made started with being hungry.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Piñatas are a fun way to intentionally maim the guests at your party.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,543

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

The second half of your life begins when you stop wanting to get even and start wanting to get odd.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

I’m old enough to remember when rainbows were in black and white.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t that thing I’ve been ignoring until it became a giant problem.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

What doesn’t kill you will text you in 5 months to ask “What are you doing?”

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Every girl keeps an extra boyfriend and calls him ‘best friend’.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Sorry, but I don’t think we should see each other anymore. Your Katana skills are lacking.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Sometimes you really do write a whole poem just to give one beautiful phrase a home.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

I’m already sick of tomorrow.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Cooking your own meals really is the best way to devote 50 hours of your life every month to save $50.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Alexa, tell Roomba to get the spider.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I love doing research. I will look up some stuff in a minute.

Trending via Discord:

The more secure you want my computer password to be, the more guaranteed I am to just write it on a very not secure post-it note.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Guys love being called “daddy” until the pregnancy test comes back positive.

Shared recently on Reddit:

If you can stand me, you deserve me!

Trending via Reddit:

Today I was in a taxi, and the taxi driver said, “I love my job. I am my own boss, nobody tells me what to do!” Then I said, “Turn left.”

Making waves on Instagram:

Blocking someone isn’t enough; I need their PornHub videos to always buffer, just as they’re about to climax.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

Just shared via X:

I’m a credit card, cause I’m always being used or denied.

Just shared via Discord:

Always be kind. You never know who has a pool.

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