Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

It’s interesting growing up and learning that most adults are not smart. I had my suspicions as a kid, but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

I bought a watermelon and all I can think about is filling it with vodka.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Americans be like, “MM:DD:YY” is how you say dates verbally, and then have a national holiday called “4th of July.”

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Date idea: We watch Breaking Bad and break your bed.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

I see stand-up comedy as a stepping stone to television. A few more paid gigs and I’ll be able to afford a television.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

The older I get, the easier it is for me to look at a situation and say: “Yeahhh, I’m out.”

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. Just one more movie. Just one more minute.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Girls will be like “I have so much to do” then grab some snacks and start watching a 10 part docuseries on serial killers.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Adulting has stunned me into silence. I have no thoughts, no remarks and no commentary at the moment.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

I put the dance in “Good riddance!”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,265

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

I used to work at McDonald’s and we only told ugly people that the ice cream machine was broken. So I have bad news if you were ever denied ice cream.

Seen just now on Reddit:

My sex life is so dead, it has its own tombstone.

Live now on WhatsApp:

He who laughs last didn’t get it.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I wish more dumb people were shy.

Seen just now on Discord:

Probably the worst thing you can do when your wife gives you a disapproving look from across the room for being on your phone is finish typing this.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I’m so grateful when people tell me to drive safe, cause then I remember not to drive off that cliff.

Trending via Reddit:

Just emerged from my Y2K bunker. Everybody okay?

Seen just now on Slack:

Finally figured out why I look so bad in pictures – it’s my face.

Trending via Facebook:

“Try it all before you die” is always drugs and sex, never quantum physics.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Dating outside of your education bracket leads to misunderstandings and arguments.

Sex is like tacos. I wish I were having some now.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Life goals: always be in a taco or cuddle position. 🌮😂 #DreamBig"

craving, desire, food, having, humor, humor quote, i, joke, sex, tacos, wish

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Some things are better left unsaid, but people get drunk and say them anyway.

0

2 months ago

alcohol, better, drunk, fun, honesty, humor, left, people, social, things, unsaid
Foreplay is great, I particularly like the part where I peel them, chop them into pieces, then roast them in the oven until they’re all crispy and delicious.

0

2 months ago

chop, chopping, cooking, crispy, delicious, food, foreplay, great, humor, i, joke, oven, peel, peeling, pieces, roast, roasting, where
A political guy who supports communism because he hates applying for jobs and just wants to be assigned somewhere.

0

2 months ago

application, applying, communism, employment, guy, humor, job, job application, jobs, just, laziness, political, politics, satire, somewhere, wants
I’m a freak in the spreadsheets.

0

2 months ago

data, freak, geek, humor, nerd, office, spreadsheet, work
You unfollow me because you are afraid of falling in love with me. I know!

0

2 months ago

afraid, confidence, dating, humor, i, know, love, me, media, relationship, social, social media, unfollow
I didn’t mean to gain weight. It happened by snaccident.

0

2 months ago

accident, diet, food, gain, humor, i, mean, snaccident, snack, weight

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

12 shares on Discord this month:

I totally get why Leonardo DiCaprio is trying to save the environment for future generations. They could be his girlfriend.

44 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m not saying I’m old. I’m just saying that my dinner time and bedtime are getting dangerously close to each other.

69 shares on TikTok this month:

If anyone wants to sponsor me, I’ll be running a 0.002K this weekend to raise awareness for laziness.

55 shares on Twitch this month:

At my age, I’m more frightened of a hip break than a heartbreak.

39 shares on X this month:

I eat posts like yours for breakfast.

81 shares on Twitch this month:

By the power vested in me by Facebook, I now pronounce you unfriended and restricted. You may now kiss my butt.

17 shares on Instagram this month:

Unless you fell off the treadmill, no one wants to hear about your workout.

34 shares on TikTok this month:

Horoscope: Many good things are in store for you! Unfortunately, the store is closed for repairs.

97 shares on WeChat this month:

The best thing about living with my parents is being woken up four minutes before my alarm to be told my alarm is about to go off.

98 shares on X this month:

No one comes off looking worse than the third party who was asked to interfere in a couple fight.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Many fruits can be great names… but the real challenge is naming a child after a vegetable….

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Parenting sometimes feels like you’re an elevator. Lots of ups and downs and the kids love to push your buttons.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

Whoever came up with the name “dentures” really missed the opportunity to call them “substitooths”.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

I do not like how Netflix threatens to start the movie while I’m just tryna read the description. Like, please, you’re making me anxious.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

I don’t like the person I become when I’m alone in the break room with a box of donuts.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Stop telling everyone I’m posting from earth. People don’t need to know where I live.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

“Nothing beats in-person interaction”. Yeah, with someone I know and love, not Denise from finance.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

My morning yoga routine has really helped shift my lower back pain into my upper back.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

His palm trees are Serengeti, destination wedding, luggage is heavy. There’s vomit on his tux already, Dollar store confetti.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Your hoodie strings are uneven. Go home and get your shit together!

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

Do you mind if I wear my black T-shirt covered in pet hair to your fine dining establishment?

Broadcasted on Discord:

Sitting on the middle seat of this flight and both my seatmates are reading my book over my shoulder. Should I just start reading it aloud?

Going bananas on Threads:

Accepting you’re about to throw up, gotta be the worst feeling on God’s green earth.

Just landed via Slack:

With no training whatsoever, I took out myself and the other two people exiting the ski lift in one fell swoop.

Trending via TikTok:

You have never experienced true fear until a poster falls off the wall in the middle of the night.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Sometimes, when I need a really good night’s sleep, I call my burrito guy to come over and tuck me in.

Trending via Reddit:

I have lots of hidden talents. The problem is, even I can’t find them.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

My favorite conspiracy theory is that everything is going to be OK.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Are you coming to the party? There will be noise and lights but I found a corner for us to hide.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sex is like tacos. I wish I were having some now.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Some things are better left unsaid, but people get drunk and say them anyway.

Foreplay is great, I particularly like the part where I peel them, chop them into pieces, then roast them in the oven until they’re all crispy and delicious.

A political guy who supports communism because he hates applying for jobs and just wants to be assigned somewhere.

I’m a freak in the spreadsheets.

You unfollow me because you are afraid of falling in love with me. I know!

I didn’t mean to gain weight. It happened by snaccident.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨