Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Don’t go chasing waterfalls? The place where many video games hide easter eggs and other rare items?

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

What if aliens watch our movies about aliens and then invade accordingly in hopes of fitting in with our culture?

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Beer is Narcan for when you overdose on Microsoft Teams.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

I can usually cope with the opinions of others because I don’t listen.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Let the kids believe in Santa. I believed the Undertaker and Kane were brothers.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

God doesn’t do nearly enough smiting anymore.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Can’t believe I didn’t get invited to that party I would have made up an excuse not to go to.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

When your parents are on a call and they ask for a pen, man, that pressure is real.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

“Too much garlic”? What’s next? Too much love? Too much desire?

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Halloween is the only day you can ghost someone and blame it on being festive.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

If you’re reading this, drink some water. You’re not a cactus.

Just landed via TikTok:

When a documentary starts with an old person going, ‘We’re a small town, we didn’t lock our doors at night,’ oh, we’re gonna find out what made them start.

Just landed via Slack:

Schrodinger’s Immigrant: A person who is simultaneously too lazy to work, but is also stealing your job.

Seen just now on WeChat:

For my birthday, I want everyone to delete whatever old version of me they have in their head— it expired.

Going bananas on YouTube:

My kid tells me his toothpaste is “too spicy” but he doesn’t seem to be having any trouble with Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.

Trending via WeChat:

You don’t even have to date, by the way. You can just take a break from love and then randomly meet the actual love of your life somewhere you weren’t even supposed to be.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Easy there, unsaved number.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I’d be a terrible masseuse. After 5 minutes, I’d be like, “Okay, my turn.”

Making waves on TikTok:

This year has been the perfect blend between me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

The worst thing is finding out the “sweet guy” is just a lustful loser.

Silently hoping for a comet to strike, to get out of today’s responsibilities.

6 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Trading my to-do list for a comet sighting—universe, now would be a great time to collaborate! ☄️🙈

comet, escape, hope, hoping, humor, procrastination, responsibility

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You can put refrigerator magnets on your car, too. There are no rules.

0

2 months ago

car, creativity, expression, fun, humor, magnets, put, refrigerator, rules
Having a Bible verse in your bio doesn’t make you a good person.

0

2 months ago

bible, bio, good, goodness, having, humor, morality, person, personality, satire, verse
“Date” is just another word for: Jeez, had I known that before, I would have stayed home.

0

2 months ago

another, before, date, disappointment, expectation, home, humor, i, just, relationship, word
And now begins the yearly tradition of writing the incorrect year on everything, for the next 3 months.

0

2 months ago

3, activity, confusion, date, everything, humor, incorrect, months, next, time, tradition, writing, year, yearly
They should invent a “stay signed in” checkbox that isn’t meaningless.

0

5 days ago

checkbox, experience, humor, invent, login, meaningless, should, signed, stay, stay signed in, technology, user, user experience
I need something good to watch while I’m on my phone.

0

2 months ago

activity, distraction, entertainment, good, humor, i, need, phone, something, watch

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on Pinterest this month:

Hey kid, wanna hear a scary story? One day, you will be able to do whatever you want, and you will choose to stay home alone.

18 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Not only is it not Friday, but it’s not even Thursday.

20 shares on X this month:

If you think about it, Santa really has the best job, he works one day a year and spends the rest of his time judging people.

41 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If at first you don’t succeed, try two more times so your failure is statistically significant.

71 shares on Reddit this month:

Thinking the bodega owner likes you is exactly the same as thinking the stripper likes you.

34 shares on Instagram this month:

By the power vested in me by Facebook, I now pronounce you unfriended and restricted. You may now kiss my butt.

81 shares on Slack this month:

Time needs a speed limit.

89 shares on WeChat this month:

Not today, Satan, but next week works.

50 shares on Messenger this month:

The person opposite me has a donut. I do not have a donut. That should be my donut. This person is now my arch nemesis.

87 shares on Threads this month:

I belong to the generation that repaired the TV with a single blow to the casing.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

A good substitute for love and and personal fulfillment is a big bowl of fries.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

I don’t know why everyone wants love like in the movies. A movie is only 2 hours.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Dating me is super easy. I text you at 8; you reply at 8:00:01.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

Therapy is nice but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

“I saw your ex!” A very unnecessary piece of information.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Have you tried complaining about it?

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Does anyone else feel like their brain has a hundred tabs open at once?

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

You ask a girl if she ate, and she gon say, “Yeah, I had my coffee.”

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Let’s all stand up against iron deficiency (but not too fast).

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

I’m having an orange, and the dogs keep looking at me like, “stop eating that ball, dude.”

Seen just now on Twitch:

I’m so talented I can not only spill food on my clothes but I can get it on yours too.

Making waves on Messenger:

My spirit animal is that one bird that knocks itself unconscious, flying into windows.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I’ve skipped midlife crisis and gone straight to birdwatching.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I love when lashes make me look evil.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Actually, it’s illegal to be upset if you make a date on Halloween and they ghost you.

Just landed via Instagram:

Good luck to everyone out there trying to gather enough energy to function this week.

Live now on Facebook:

Yoda, seeing himself in 4K: HDMI

Shared recently on Instagram:

Nobody should be blowing up Teslas. If you just wait a bit, they’ll probably do it by themselves.

Making waves on Telegram:

Dropped my skinny boyfriend between the bed and the wall like a vape or a TV remote.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Silently hoping for a comet to strike, to get out of today’s responsibilities.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

You can put refrigerator magnets on your car, too. There are no rules.

Having a Bible verse in your bio doesn’t make you a good person.

“Date” is just another word for: Jeez, had I known that before, I would have stayed home.

And now begins the yearly tradition of writing the incorrect year on everything, for the next 3 months.

They should invent a “stay signed in” checkbox that isn’t meaningless.

I need something good to watch while I’m on my phone.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨