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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Do you know how much trauma it took to be this funny?

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Not to be dramatic, but learning how to read has ruined my life.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Roses are red, violets are blue, sunflowers are yellow. I bet you were expecting something romantic, but no, this is just gardening facts.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Called myself to see if I’d answer, sent me to voicemail. Twice.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

I’m not a 10. I’m more like two 5s held together by cheese and chocolate.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Oh, sorry, I can’t right now. I’m imagining some things and worrying about them.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

My favorite thing about summer is opening a window for 30 seconds so an insect that hasn’t been identified by science yet can fly into your home.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

If you drink a lot of water, you won’t have time for other people’s drama because you’ll be too busy looking for a bathroom.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

I delete posts cause I be getting mature over the hours.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

As president, I will allow people to use the same password as before when changing their password.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,570

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

I haven’t given up on my fairy-tale ending. I still plan to be eaten by a wolf.

Shared recently on Threads:

Nostalgia is mostly dumb nonsense, but movie rental stores were legitimately better than streaming.

Trending via Slack:

What are some beginner pieces of information for somebody just getting into knowledge?

Going viral on X:

Every laptop should have a “cat” button that disables the keyboard so they can nap.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Once you start paying rent, every joke stops being funny.

Trending via YouTube:

My bed wasn’t feeling well this morning, so I had to stay home to take care of it.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Washing your face is actually multitasking because you are also washing your hands and forearms and shirt and countertop and feet and floor and hair.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

SEO experts be like: I was eating a banana when my traffic increased, so bananas are definitely a ranking factor.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

So, if I take out a reverse mortgage on my house does that mean I’ll own a bank after 30 years?

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Be careful when you follow the masses sometimes the M is silent.

Staying up all night so I don’t miss any good posts.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
This is the perfect plan for social media FOMO 😂 Who needs sleep when you have memes 🌙✨

activity, good, humor, i, insomnia, internet, media, miss, night, online, online activity, post, posts, procrastination, social, social media, stay, stay up, staying

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m not making any resolutions. I think it’s time for the years to be better, not me.

0

2 months ago

better, humor, i, making, me, resolution, Resolutions, self-improvement, think, time, year’s
Am simultaneously the family’s black sheep and gold star, and that’s exactly why I’m the way I am.

0

5 months ago

am, black, black sheep, exactly, family, gold, gold star, humor, i, identity, personality, sheep, star, why
Need a professional way to say, “I do not care, don’t mention this to me again.”

0

2 weeks ago

again, care, communication, dismissal, humor, i, indifference, me, mention, need, phrase, professional, professional phrase, sarcasm, say
I wish British people had subtitles so I knew what they are on about.

0

2 months ago

British, communication, culture, humor, i, language, misunderstanding, people, subtitles, wish
The title of my autobiography is going to be ‘You’d Think I’d Learn By Now, But Nope.’

0

2 months ago

autobiography, going, growth, humor, ID, irony, learn, learning, lessons, life, life lessons, mistakes, personal, personal growth, self-reflection, think, title, titles
Saying “Who is it?” when the doctor knocks on the exam room door.

0

3 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, doctor, door, exam, exam room, funny situation, knocking, moment, question, room, saying, situation

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Are you there, bathroom walls, ceiling, floor, mirror, sink, and towels? It’s me, the kids toothpaste.

11 shares on YouTube this month:

“I’m still young”, I tell myself, as my knees make popping noises while standing up.

94 shares on Discord this month:

Going to bed early is easy, going to sleep early is a whole other set of problems.

87 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I prayed and accidentally mixed up God and Lord and said Gord. So embarrassing.

69 shares on Twitch this month:

I see no action figures, puzzles, or board games. I thought you said you wanted to play with me.

41 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m already ready to clock out from work tomorrow.

45 shares on Facebook this month:

Enjoy your 30s, because in your 40s, your first check engine lights come on.

23 shares on TikTok this month:

Unfortunately, I do enjoy watching the downfall of people who did me wrong.

100 shares on Discord this month:

Metallica’s “Nothing Else Matters” is my favorite song about that 5 minutes of sleep before the alarm goes off.

91 shares on Facebook this month:

It’s my birthday, but I’m not gonna post about it for attention like some kind of loser.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Why are “hemorrhoids” not called “assteroids”?

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

My family was too poor for a gene pool, so we soaked our genes in rye whiskey.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

Every Reddit relationship post is like “My husband dropped a big piano on my head and when I emerged from the rubble my teeth had been replaced by the keys. Am I in the wrong?”

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Hit my coworker with “you’re a lucky man” after I saw a picture of his wife just to let him know that I want to sleep with her.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

If I had a boyfriend, I’d put him in a snow globe and shake it really hard.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

My eye doctor is alarmingly young and when he said he thought I had a chalazion or a hordoleum, I thought he might be referencing Pokémon.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Sometimes I’m out in public and I have to look down real quick to make sure I remembered to put on pants.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Sorry I zoned out during your story… my brain was offering me multiple side quests and overthinking opportunities.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

I respect the moon because it controls three of our most precious entities: oceans, wolves & women.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Just had a fight with every item in my closet. They started it.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

I’m addicted to following the rules I made up. And also breaking the rules I made up.

Going viral on Messenger:

Love that every time I finish a snack I have to wave my hands around to prove to my dog it’s all gone, like I’m cashing him out at a casino or something.

Spotted on Instagram:

“I’d love to go to the moon” I said “but on a full moon day of course, no point going all that way when only half of it’s there”

Going bananas on Facebook:

I named my eraser Confidence because it gets smaller after every mistake I make.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

The sound of a buzzing fly is enough to ruin my whole mood.

Spotted on Discord:

Maybe we should put monkeys in charge for a while just to see how it goes.

Trending via WeChat:

Don’t listen to any thoughts about yourself if your hair isn’t washed. It’s just not true.

Seen just now on Threads:

If you have nothing nice to say, I promise you that I’ll have something even worse to say back.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I’m tired and drank a lot of coffee, so now I’m tired but faster.

Trending via Threads:

I could own a thousand summer dresses, and it still wouldn’t be enough.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Staying up all night so I don’t miss any good posts.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’m not making any resolutions. I think it’s time for the years to be better, not me.

Am simultaneously the family’s black sheep and gold star, and that’s exactly why I’m the way I am.

Need a professional way to say, “I do not care, don’t mention this to me again.”

I wish British people had subtitles so I knew what they are on about.

The title of my autobiography is going to be ‘You’d Think I’d Learn By Now, But Nope.’

Saying “Who is it?” when the doctor knocks on the exam room door.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨